This is the most spectacular of prayers -- Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To you do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To you do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears Turn then, most gracious advocate, your eyes of mercy toward us, and after this exile show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
This prayer I came across recently, maybe someone will find it helpful ~ “May the light of the Holy Spirit come upon us all and reveal Him Who is Truth.” Amen Dear God, I come before you at this moment. Please Enlighten what is dark in me, Strengthen what is weak in me, Mend what is broken in me, Heal what is sick in me, And revive whatever peace and love that has died in me. This prayer is for me, my family, my friends, my enemies and even those who hate me. Amen.
Went to confession today with my husband and then mass and prayed for you all— placed you on the altar at the consecration.
You are in my prayers, together with MaryRose, Agnes, Carmelite, JoM, HeavenlyHost, Katfalls, Sanctus, and all here that I might have forgotten to mention. It is so crazy, it is doing my head in. On Thursday, Feast of the Assumption, I was sitting sweetly with my wife in church, holding hands. This rarely happens. On Saturday, she wanted to separate and booked an appointment with a lawyer for tomorrow, Monday. Today, Sunday, we have reconciled again. I am not sure if my wife will still see a lawyer tomorrow - I hope not. Things are good now. But we have been through this mad rollercoaster for nine years now. It is doing my head in, I am not understating. I have never had so much depression as in the last two months. Today, Sunday, just like another forum member has mentioned here, I was sitting sweetly with my wife in church again, and we both went to confession, one after the other. This has never happened before. My wife has always been a bit resentful towards my religiosity. But today, we went to confession together. Things are good. I am happy now, but I am not straight in the head anymore. I have always thought my wife has mental health issues, but now I also have mental health issues. I cannot seem to cope with the constant massive ups and downs, from sweetness to contemplating divorce, literally in the space of one day. We have three kids. I have asked my son on Saturday (his ninth birthday) if he would be happy if mum and dad were to separate. He said he would not be happy. So I tried to reconcile with my wife again, with success. But these constant ups and downs are killing me. I am trying to be stable and supportive, but I have reached the end of my mental strenght. This has affected my work, I have been very depressed and not delivering on my job at all. Now I am losing this job. I just turned 50 and we are in a recession. This aspect is not looking good. But my marriage has reconciled for now. But it is the rollercoaster, over nine years now, that is affecting me. All these years I have been overeating and indulging in impurity. To the point of addiction and chronic pancreatitis. the latest MRI scan showed the pancreas continues to be in atrophy, but no deterioration since the last scan. I am finishing my third Strive21 program (by Matt Fradd) today. This was suggested on this forum, I believe it was HeavenlyHost. I am incredibly grateful. I have managed to maintain my goals of purity for 63 days now. But perhaps this 'cold turkey' has contributed to my depression. I will keep going, however. Although I have miserably failed on my third Strive 21, which was meant to introduce temperance and fight gluttony. I have failed at this, but I have continued to remain in the state of purity. I will pause the gluttony issue for now and revisit this during my fifth Strive 21 program which will start in three weeks. Tomorrow, I will start my fourth Strive 21 - this will focus on diligence, and I will try to cut out my wasting time on the internet. I will allow myself a maximum of one hour private internet use per day. So I am planning to post less here. All the while, I will continue to remain pure, with the help of Our Lady. My son's birthday party on Saturday started with my breaking into tears while singing happy birthday, because my wife wanted to divorce. Then, we went out with his friends and played Football (Soccer), went to Go-Kart track in the drizzling rain and drifted around on slicks, we had a blast. Then, we went plane-spotting to the airport. They all had a blast, and my son's best friend said it was his best birthday party ever. I really enjoyed this, and especially the Football and the Go-Karting did me really well. I sweated a lot during Football, we did mini matches three per team, so we had a lot of ground to cover and I ran and ran and I am not in good shape. So the sweating and pumping my lungs did me well. Then, the drifting on the wet on slicks on the Go-Karts was amazing. I passed all the boys several times and just kept testing the limits of the Kart in the wet - lots of oversteer and lots of fun. I came back and reconciled with my wife. But the work question is still unresolved. And my mental health, it has all taken its toll. But I realise, I have been talking much about me me me, again, but I realise one thing having read this thread: All of you seem to have very very heavy crosses to cover. It seems the night is the darkest now, just before dawn. We all seem to be in the same boat. I do not feel as much sorry for myself as I sound. i realise well that many of you have much much heavier crosses to carry. So, you are all in my prayers and this is not just lip service. I do know you are much holier than I am and the Good Lord is giving you heavy crosses, much heavier than I could bear. It seems to me that as the Holy Church is going into eclipse, we are being tested the hardest. The night is darkest right now, but we must be just before dawn. So I will keep on praying my rosaries for you. Especially the people I have mentioned above, I will pray for you. Also, there is so much generosity I have received from the members of this forum. Two of you even offered to help our family three years ago when we were contemplating leaving New Zealand due to the mad vaccination campaign at the time. I have received a wonderful healing relic from one of you. From one of you, I have received a holy book on the Rosary, which we are now using to contemplate on the mysteries of the Rosary. And the many prayers our family has received from you - I could literally feel them this weekend, as our family was once again going through the lowest lows. So I am incredibly grateful to all of you, and I know very very well that I am perhaps a bit self pity type of guy and always talking about me, whereas it is some of you that carry much heavier crosses and through your quiet holiness you have achieved to be the salt of the earth for many on this forum and many more. So, I admire y0u, dear forum members, and I am thankful no end, and I will keep you in my prayers. As Sr. Agnes Sasagawa has just died, I am reminded of our visit to Akita in 2017. I tried to visit Sr. Agnes but could not find out (at the time) where she lived. By way of rumour, I heard that the prophecy "fire will fall from the sky and wipe out a great part of humanity, etc..." will come to pass after her death. So we are in these days now as Russia is being attacked on her on soil. We have to prepare for the worst. I apologise for my rambling. I have no time to proof-read this time, as my wife has made a lovely family dinner (a rare opportunity) and I want to cut my internet time. Please be assured of my prayers, this entire forum. I believe we are now entering the darkest part of the spiritual night, then comes the chastisement of Akita, then comes the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart. So let us have Faith, Hope and Charity. Now is the time. God bless you all here. I am thankful to you all and I see you as my brothers and sisters in arms in this spiritual war. God bless!
Oh Micheal your words are from the soul aching. Be assured that we are keeping you in our prayers. May our Heavenly Mother hold you you close and our Lord in his Mercy give you peace within your marriage.
Prayers for all. If the Church is being attacked then we are all being attacked. So much is coming to light right now and we are learning what is truly important. Please hold on for the miracle. Offer every pain and discomfort to Jesus and He will hold us up. Offer to Him our pain and trust !!!! Jesus take care of everything. I surrender. ❤️
I have no words. “Come unto Me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will refresh you.” Words of Jesus I have been praying and I will continue. I thank you and your beautiful family for your rosaries. “Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.” We are all praying. “If Christ be for us, who can be against us.”
Praying for you anf your wife Michael. I don't know if I can offer advice but having been through a separation 8 years ago I feel I should try. I think at the time both myself and my wife had some kind of mental health breakdown simultaneously. I had lost my job and was unemployed for 3 years which put enormous strain on both of us. To make matters worse I had a medical problem which meant I was getting very little sleep. This caused immense tiredness and irritability in me. Eventually it erupted into verbal arguments and my shouting in front of the children which caused immense damage to my reltionships with them. The hardest thing of all was trying to enjoy my daughter's wedding just a couple of weeks before my final departure. We had agreed a ceasefire just before the wedding but my heart was consumed with the greatest sadness I had ever experienced and yet I had to appear joyful and united with my wife. Although I was happy for my daughter, I was sad too that I couldn't have made it a more joyful occasion for her on her big day. After the wedding, the ceasefire seemed to persist. My wife engaged me in conversation about her first pregnancy and the birth of our beautiful daughter. She was trying to drag out of me some compliment which I might give to her, just some little gesture that would indicate to her that I loved her, that the marriage was worth saving. But my heart was hardened and, although I do and did love her, I withheld any compliments which came to my mind. I was bitter from all the arguments which had gone by. After that things deteriorated rapidly and I found myself departing for good. A complete disaster. If I had been Christian it would have never happened. My advice is - you need to summon heroic virtue and patience. Guard your words with the utmost care. Do not retaliate. Forgive everything even your wife going to a lawer or solicitor. Try to open communication with your wife. Tell her you love her. Compliment her. Tell her she means the world to you. Tell her your problems could all be solved by both of you understanding what a sacramental marriage is. Try to seek help to get marriage counselling from a Catholic perspective. Apologise for your failings to your wife. Humble yourself. On no account should you go to a lawyer yourself. Even if a separation does occur, the situation can still be retrieved at a later date - provided you do not burn your bridges. Pray Memorares constantly asking for Our Lady's help. Remember that you can be happily married again and that what you do and say now in these difficult days and weeks may determine your future for many a day to come. You do have great Faith and you can use that to gain consolation. If you do your part, then all things will work for the good of those who love God.
Torn up reading your post. My problems have been different but I can empathise with the mental up and downs, the sheer madness of it all. I will do what I can for you, Michael. But first, try to rest. Please just rest.
Absolutely praying for you. Also, I can't help but notice the parallel between your story and that of the Prodigal Son. It's clear to me that God is bringing you closer to Him.
Praying for you and your family. It is not those of us who are struggling with crosses ( I believe them to be unavoidable this side of the grave), but those who take up the Cross in imitation of our Lord, while helping others to carry theirs. Thank you Holy Spirit for Your sustaining love this day. Please be here tomorrow also!
My heart goes out to you, Michael. I will pray that Our Lord will bless you and your wife with the graces to heal whatever may be broken. Praying to St. Joseph to help you and your family through this storm. God bless you.
