Sanctus, I sit in this type of boat, amongst these type of waves - much too often. Some days the prayers come easy, often they don't. So, I've gotten into the habit of asking the Lord to give me my prayer. Not just the ones I have on hand, but the one He wants me to say at a particular time. By this, I mean a prayer that I can say as often as I breathe. I'm sure you have these prayers, so go to them. One that comes repeatedly when I sense spiritual persecution is ~ Blood of Christ, wash through me. My friend shared this psalm with me today, and I leave it with you, Sanctus. Psalm 121 "A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem" I look up to the mountains -- from where will my help come? Psalm 121 Assurance of God’s Protection A Song of Ascents. 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills— from where will my help come? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. 4 He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand. 6 The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. 8 The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and for evermore.
If you are struggling with God's will for you, I suggest you read Mark Mallett's blog on preparing for chastisement. Despite the title, the writing centers around accepting God's will in our lives and being guided by the Holy Spirit. I have struggled with this as well, as I have had heavy crosses for multiple years now so God's plan for my life seems to be misery! So, I know what you are going through. Hang in there brother! This too shall pass for both of us. http://www.markmallett.com/blog/lift-your-sails-preparing-for-chastisement/
Dear Sanctus.. I am going to Mass in the next hour. I will pray especially for your healing at the consecration. B. Trust and hope. Keep going.
Sanctus I see you have left the forum. I wanted to let you know I am still praying for you, in case you are still reading. Trust in God's will for you.
Thanks again everyone for your prayers. Things can still be very difficult but I'm doing the best to offer it all up and trust whatever trials come serve a purpose in the long run. Perhaps God wishes for us to go through trials and suffering for the benefit of the world at the moment.
