Siobhan, Garabandal's post is a real gem and wonderful advise. I agree that you continue to pray and keep silent. Your faith in your heart will be like a perfume seeping from a sealed bottle and will attract your family and friends. You are the chosen one in your family that will bring them to the lord. I will keep you in my prayers. Mary
Siobhan check out Mark Mallett on private revelation. It deals with many of the questions you raised. http://www.markmallett.com/blog/?p=321 Mary
Siobhán, Thank you very much for posting. I can relate to how you feel as regards not having too many people to confide in about the Faith. It is sad to hear your husband does not seem to have much time for your Faith, but I hope and pray that he will greatly embrace it in time. It seems almost as standard these days for people to wince and flinch when matters of Faith crop up, much the same as atttitudes to sex in Ireland in the 1950s were. I come from a good Catholic family, but I am the only one who practices it every day, i.e. reading Scripture, praying, going to Mass the odd weekday and so on. I was on holidays in Portugal last year, and I said to the family that I was interested in taking a day trip to Fatima, and the response I got was 'Don't tell me your one of them religious freaks,' from a close family member. I felt deflated, to say the least. But I have absolutely no shame whatsoever in hiding my faith from anybody. All my life I struggled to make friends, this has caused me great upset over the years, and sometimes I feel angry and dejected, seeing many others who seem to have it all in the world. A twenty-something that prays is something that causes alarm bells these days. My sister has been exceptionally bad towards me. She is in her late teens, and while she does go to Mass, I am someone she has written off altogether. All her friends are very much stuck in the ways of the world, so to speak, concerned about going out and getting drunk, driving fast cars and on and on. There was one evening we all were sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner and I had said something, not sure exactly, but I had probably said something correcting her. I won't go into detail but I got a barrage of abuse like I had never heard before. I was this, and I was that, according to her, simply because I did not fit into her selfish, narrow-minded way of life. She would still say it to me this instant if I questioned her, that she feels I am an embarrassment to the family. Most of the time I shrug it off, and I pray for her. I care about her very much and to receive abuse like I do from her, usually in the form of snide one-liner comments, I take as par for the course. I love to pray, and if anyone does or says anything negatively to me I always pray for them. Jesus said 'Love your enemies' but I don't see them as enemies, in the proper sense of the word. All this of course has taught me some valuable lessons - that the path we walk with Christ, we walk ourselves alone, only two of us, side by side. I understand now, I hope, that the reason I had so few companions for years was that God was keeping me all to Himself!!! :lol: He wasn't joking when he said to His followers 'Let the dead bury the dead', for he wants us now, this instant, always, and 100 percent. Imagine that! God Almighty, the Creator of our Huge Universe (Now more huger than we thought thanks to Mary's link :lol: ) wants us to walk with him alone, away from all the distractions of the world, so he can talk to us by the Holy Spirit.
I'm awed! Siobhan, What marvelous advice you've received. What can I add? I hoped you noticed with what loving concern all have shared. It is a place of still waters, this board. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. In verdant pastures he gives me repose. Beside still waters he leads me, he refresheth my soul. He leadeth on paths of righteousness for his Name's sake. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thy rod and thy staff, they give me courage. Thou preparest a table before me in the sight of my foes, Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever! Pr 3:33 ...the Lord blesses the abode of the righteous! Be faithful. He who woos you, loves those you love more than you can ever imagine. One day they will rejoice! At peace in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary!
Shane's post reminds me of something very,very embarassing the happened me many , many years ago. I had not long got out of prison and was walking about the city praying my head off. I had not shred with anyone apart from my Spiritual Director about what had happened to me and was sure it was all hidden. Not that I was ashamed really. but it was like very many deep things of the heart not lightly talked off. In any case myself and the way I looked at things was so radically different and my way of life so totally changed that I thought everyone would think I had become a candidate for the nut house. :lol: Anyhow Father Bernard recommended I enter the monastery as my prayer life had become Contemplative and I went up on various visits and live ins before entering. Anyhow I was innocent enough to suppose that all these goings on were hidden to my family, neighbours and friends, which was very,very foolish of me. :roll: One night I went down to a local Republican drinking Club, 'The Felons' with a large party of my brothers and friends and we were all gathered round a table happily drinking away, talking about this, that and the other. Suddenly , out of the blue the table fell quiet and one person said, 'Padraig, is it true you are going away to be a monk'. Well my face turned crimson and the whole place turned quiet, Ii think even people at other tables fell quiet to hone in and listen!! My big secret was no secret at all, the whole area knew and were astounded!! :shock: So I said, simply, 'Yes it is. I am.' Deep quiet. Much thoughtful stares. Then another question, genuinely puzzled. 'But Padraig what are you doing that for?' I felt a hideous urge to dive under the table and hide but I felt strength from above. 'Because I love Jesus'. Intense silence you could cut a knife with, deep hypnotic stares. General alarm and amazement. Padraig had lost it. I then felt a little helpful anger stirring within me. 'Oh well ', I said getting up,' I'm off to the toilet to give you time to have a good talk about me and back stab me'. Then I will never it one of them , the one who asked the question piped up. 'Well Padraig, I am going to sit here and if anyone says anything about you, I am going to punch his face in!!' :lol: :lol: Much general nodding and humphs of agreement and angry glares around the table and muttered threats. Then when I went to the toilet to escape the hub bub several of them followed me out to the toilet and shook my hands to wish me well. All those years ago, such a hard moment, my eyes fill with tears as I remember their great kindness to me. Hard. working class men who could not understand what I was doing or the change that had stolen over me, but who loved me and trusted me in what I was doing. It was my first real chance to witness for Christ since my conversion, what a Baptism of fire but thanks to God's grace I did not fail the test. It was only many years later that I discovered that my conversion had in fact been the talk of the entire area a huge topic of gossip and comment, but I suspect a great cause of much good. You know its years ago but the tears are running down my cheeks still as I write of this. But in any case it was wonderful really, Since my dark secret was out everything from then on, as far as witnessing to people went so easily. Since everyone knew about it I was well over the hump of keeping quiet. But I'll say one thing, all I ever encountered was respect some of it huge. I was an IRA Commander known , feared and respected, now I was going away to be a monk. But I think Jesus does not light lamps in men's hearts to be hidden , He lights them to be seen. Great good I suspect, though much of it hidden came from my red faced, bumbling witness to Jesus and His Mother, Mary.
Padraig thats a great story of witnessing but the time was right and you were asked a serious question by someone who genuinely wanted to know. Not everybody wants to really know they just want the opportunity to ridicule and we are not asked to throw our pearls to the swine so in the face of ridicule I think its advisable to retain your peace of mind and walk away and pray for them. My daughter was constantly getting into arguments and getting upset when she went to college by feeling she had to defend and convince people but no one was changing and she was becoming depressed from all the ridicule so I advised her to walk away from people when this started and she does. There is a right time to verbally witness and you have to be strong in your faith. I think its good to become friends with other people of faith to make yourself stronger. mary
Siobhan, I have a story much like yours. It's still unfolding but I never could have predicted the path it's taken. I am also the Lone Ranger in my faith in my family. They have made fun, tried to derail me, turned away from me. I had probably been going to daily mass for 5 years when I decided God had to come home with me, I just couldn't take it any more. I started collecting crucifixes and put them all over the house. They mostly were old art pieces, or could be seen in that light. Well the more I brought Him into the house the bigger He became in my life. I had my very best girl friend at one point say "enough, NO MORE GOD". I stopped writing her for a while. Yesterday she wrote and said "thank you so much for always bringing me back to the path" and she's not Catholic. It's a lonely journey whether you have friends on the path or not, I think that's how it's meant to be, that's how He becomes your closest friend. I had a young priest about 5 years ago give me some of the best advice. He said "spend as much time as possible in front of the Blessed Sacrament". I pass that on to you. Recently I realized that if I didn't start telling my family and husband what was going on I would leave them behind and they are too important to me to have that happen. I was pleasantly surprised by their acceptance of my interior life I've just finished a wonderful book about a woman's journey called THE BRIDGE BETWEEN THE EAST AND WEST, A Journey Towards Love by Samia Zumout,http://www.samiazumout.com/. I highly recommend it, I cried through the 16th and 17th chapters, it was so moving. Lee
In fact, all who want to live religiously in Christ Jesus will be persecuted (2 Timothy 3: 12). Personally, I feel like I live in two worlds. First, there are my friends of faith, including everyone here and also my friends that I work with in ministry. We all go to dinner every Sunday evening with our Parish priest, Father Dan, a very good and holy priest. It’s great that my children can know him in this way. I feel very blessed. On the other hand, my workplace is very secular, and there is a huge gay culture there. The reactions I’ve received to my faith have run from quiet words of support to verbal assaults against the Church. For the most part, like Garabandal said, my sense is that most are basically good folks who are not too far from the Kingdom of God and that the warning will be a huge wake-up call for them. Went camping this past weekend with a good group of fathers and sons. It’s an interesting mix. One guy is a Protestant seriously considering entering a Protestant seminary. One friend is a devout Catholic married to a devout Orthodox – they attend both masses as a family and their kids are in Catholic school. Talk about ecumenism! There are a number of lukewarm and non-practicing Catholics in the group. I was talking to one of them and he said that if his father was there he would drive two hours to a Catholic Church. I said that was great, and that whenever I travel, the first thing I always ask is, “Where’s the nearest Catholic Church?” He looked at me like I was from a different planet. St. Paul’s second letter to Timothy is really applicable to this thread of discussion. Paul tells Timothy that everyone deserted him in Asia. He reminds Timothy that we have been given a Spirit of power and self control, Bear your share of hardship along with me like a good soldier of Christ Jesus (2 Tim 2: 3). If we persevere we shall also reign with him. But if we deny him he will deny us (2 Tim 3: 12). I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingly power: proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient; convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching. For the time will come when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but, following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths. But you, be self-possessed in all circumstances; put up with hardship; perform the work of an evangelist; fulfill your ministry (2Tim 4: 1-6).
Wow! Where do I start to reply to all your words of comfort and support. When I started this journey I knew I was going to fall flat on my face unless I had others to share and learn from. I got exactly what I was looking for! (Mother of God forum) Well, my husband came home from work last evening and said that he had downloaded some stuff from the internet which he thought would be the closest thing to what we are talking about. Well he was spot on with all his 29 pages about Marriage and NFP. I thought that all you guy's had spent the afternoon praying for me! Maybe it was a mini-miracle! Something in my head said "don't celebrate too soon". I read it, and asked him did he want to read it, but he said that he had already. "Well, what did you think of it" I said. He replied that he would find it impossible to be that person and that I was the one that had the experience of a conversion, not him. "Ok so where do we go from here" I said. He said that " we should just wait and see as to what was going to happen to us". ??..... I felt so sad. I still feel sad today, but resolute that my faith won't get lukewarm again. All I can do is put it in Jesus' and Mary's hands as I can't fight this on my own. I said in my previous post that we had a great relationship before my conversion and I reckon the fallen angels must be circling, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. Garabandal said: "The truth is that I had to change before she changed. As I got closer to God I saw the wonderful virtues in her life and marvelled as I saw God's grace in her, and at the same time I was made aware of my own profound faults, sins and failings." and "So there was a kind of tension in our marriage for a while." and "I think it is important that you continue to pray and you will grow and become stronger - and be yourself - your marriage is a sacrament and God will honour it through you." I can relate to all statements. I do believe my problem will be sorted out eventually on way or another and I don't believe that God would allow my Marriage to fall apart. Mary said "You are the chosen one in your family that will bring them to the lord." I hope so!! Sean post said "'Don't tell me your one of them religious freaks" Funny enough my Mother say's the same about me! Mario said "Siobhan, What marvelous advice you've received. What can I add? I hoped you noticed with what loving concern all have shared. It is a place of still waters, this board." Mario, how could I not notice!!- you're awed, but I'm totally overwhelmed and blown away by what all of you have posted today. I was a little bit embaressed that I had wrote something so personal on the forum, not for your sakes I might add but just in case someone I knew read it. It's so full of wonderful and loving advice I know will be beneficial to others that are passing through this forum. and Mario you also said: "Be faithful. He who woos you, loves those you love more than you can ever imagine. One day they will rejoice! " Mario, those are very comforting words... Padraig, I read your post somewhere (maybe on another forum?) and it's more relevant to me now as per the situation I now find myself in. Some day I'm going to have to stand up and be counted and hopefully I'll have your strenght to do it. That was a lovely story-thanks! Lee said: "when I decided God had to come home with me," I bought a poster of "Jesus,I trust in you" at the Divine Mercy Novena last sunday. It's one of my favourite pictures of Jesus. I can't imagine hanging it in the kitchen or living room though!! I think that it would really be testing my husband!! :lol: It's funny how one day I can be giving advice to any of you and the next day I'm down on my knee' praying for advice from all of you! I started off this thread asking (questioning) Medjugorje and Garabandal. It's funny where this has ended up! Did I just get an answer about both!! Anyway, I feel much better and more able to tackle what life is now throwing at me. I'm going down to the Blessed Sacrament tonight and will have all of you in my prayers with thanks for very good friends. Darrell just caught your post-I can relate to living in two worlds and what St Paul said to Timothy "be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient" - So apt for the days we are living in. Thanks again Siobhan
Siobhan, The fact that your husband looked up that information shows that God is working in his soul and you are having an influence. He may fear faith because faith asks/demands change - a death to self/ego - so he may need reassurance that you will always love him no matter what. When my marriage goes through those rough patches I have learnt to remember in my mind's eye the day I was married, the way I felt about Margaret, how beautiful she was, and the promise I made to love unconditionally. You are very much in my prayers and I was praying for you Padre Pio came into my minds eye so say a wee prayer to him to look after you and your family. He is a most influential saint and a miracle worker. God Bless
Siobhan, don't worry, God knows right where you are and just what you need. I've been where you are so many times I can't count, in the beginning that's what kept me going to daily mass Our Blessed Mother is working with me big time right now and I just was given a copy of THE SWAP. I initiated it yesterday and have had extremely promising results (shocking really). Go to the address below and follow the titles down to June Kilns The Swap. It's amazing, very encouraging. And remember FAITH IS THE EXTENT OF YOUR BELIEFS. If you believe in miracles, they will come to you! I'm living proof! http://www.101foundation.com/101timespdf/nl55.pdf
Garabandal, yesterday i left work on the verge of tears and had to try very hard on the drive home to not cry. (not a pretty sight!!) I was praying continously to Our Lady, Padre Pio, and St Micheal for them to take over my worrie's! I then came home and went onto the forum, where I read all your supportive replies. I wrote out what I wanted to say to each of you and then posted. I immediately felt better and definitely not sad at all. I then went to the Blessed Sacrament for an hour and had a lovely time spent with Jesus. I was so much calmer. I've just finished a book on Padre Pio, so its funny how you asked me to pray to him! I had been doing just that for the last few days! I feel very optimistic about my predicament, but have complete trust now in prayer. Lee, I've been doing the swap for the last couple of days without realising it, just not literally saying that "if you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours"!! Thanks again! Siobhan
Siobhan - where would we be without saints like Padre Pio to help us along the way? Mark Mallett's latest blog touches on some themes on this thread and it is a very powerful piece: http://www.markmallett.com/blog/?p=860#more-860
