I keep having this horrible feeling that I am damned or that I did something wrong over the past while. God doesn't seem to be in my life like the way He was before for some reason. I want to do His will, but I still get these awful feelings. I don't feel Our Lady's presence much either even though I have made the consecration twice.
Sanctus, I went through that about thirty years ago. I was convinced I must be one of the predestined damned, (if there is such a thing). It was often too much trouble to get up in the morning, what's the point I used to think. All it means is another miserable day. As you say it feels like we must have done something wrong that we can't understand. The answer to that is yes, we all sin, and that is something wrong, which is why Jesus endured the passion to make amends for us. We just need to confess what we know or think we did wrong, and trust God with the rest. One thing that happened and I may have shared this on the forum in the past. A flippin bird of some sort would tweet outside the window and keep it up for ages, it used to get on my nerves. In the end I would get up just to get away from the incessant tweet. On a couple of occasions I remember thinking well, I can't do anything about what happens when I'm dead; but devil you can't stop me choosing to love and honour Almighty God while I am alive. And I don't care what you do to me when I am in your old pit. Now I choose to praise and thank God for all He has done for everyone even the likes of me, a predestined lost. That seeemed to cure the problem. Looking back I wonder if it was that dark night of the soul. I had never considered that sort of spiritual experience would affect ordinary souls; but since reading and hearing about these things on the internet. I wonder if that was what was going on. I never mentioned it to a Priest, because I thought it was just me. Indeed there were other things in my life that I found ways to conquer not knowing these would be something to discuss in confession. It seemed irrelevant to mention, and frankly felt silly to even contemplate. Hope that helps.
Well Sanctus, you are experiencing a temptation of the devil. It is the sort of trick he plays to make us feel there is no hope for us. He was a liar and a murdered from the start, according to Jesus. If the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
Thanks Julia. I want to be a priest in the future if God calls me to be, so perhaps that is why I experience these things.
Heard demonic laughter this morning before waking up. Not sure what to make of it.. Hopefully it is not a bad sign. Some people say to take that as a compliment, but I am unsure.
Sanctus i believe you under severe demonic attack. You are experiencing what I imagine the Agony in the Garden may have been like for Our Lord. This sounds like real oppression to me and a good priest might help with it. Please keep making acts of faith hope and love to Our lord and calling on the Immaculate Heart. Jesus and Mary have NOT abandoned you. As Julia describes I too have suffered such things from time to time. It is horrible but she has the right solution. Keep soldiering on. Making acts of faith. I am praying for you too. (Put blessed exorcized salt in your food every day and holy water too)
Do you have Deliverance Prayers: For Use By The Laity by Fr. Chad Ripperger? I’ve started using that more and more. I think we need to start engaging in spiritual warfare even more than ever now, I’ve mentioned in the past spending some of my time on a secular forum site, well on that site, more and more people are now turning to paganism and the occult, just as has been predicted by people like Ven. Fulton J. Sheen and the like; thus we’ll have to spend more time praying then engaging in rational arguments with these kinds of peoples.
Oh, I had this happen at Holy Mass, twice over thirty years ago. I told the Priest what happened after the second time, and he asked to me about what I was praying for at the time it happened. I told him, and on both occasions it was the same person I was praying for. He said that was why it happened, continue praying for that person. The first time it happened I thought I must have imagined it. I was very lucky that Priest now deceased was a very spiritual man, another Priest could have dismissed me. And I would not have understood why it happened. AED is right, you need to use Holy Water and you should wear a brown scapular, a miraculous medal, a St. Benedict medal and a Crucifix. Thank God, these things have not interfered with my sleep or dreams. When it happened in the Church, I could not believe no one else heard it, it was so loud. I turned round and looked to see if anyone else noticed. My own family sitting with me were totally unaware, and I did not even tell them what happened. I just said did you hear that noise during Mass. No they had not.
Hi everyone, in hospital now. Doing OK. Much better than the last time I was there in september. Prayers would be appreciated, Hopefully Our Lady and Jesus can help me.
Sanctus... It seems to me if one is really losing his Faith....he simply wouldn't care! THAT would be a clear sign.... as I see it. The fact that you DON'T want this to happen is proof enough that you are not losing your Faith!! My other thought is exactly in line with maryrose's post.... Heaven is taking away your comfortable spiritual supports so that you can use your "spiritual legs" ALL..BY...YOURSELF... even if it is as scary as walking out on a tightrope with out "mothers hand". Its all about GROWTH! Look at this as a time to prove yourself!!! And.....PRAY...PRAY... PRAY!
