"The entire life of a good Christian is in fact an exercise of holy desire. You do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when he comes you may see and be utterly satisfied. Suppose you are going to fill some holder or container, and you know you will be given a large amount. Then you set about stretching your sack or wineskin or whatever it is. Why? Because you know the quantity you will have to put in it and your eyes tell there is not enough room. By stretching it, therefore, you increase the capacity of the sack, and this is how God deals with us. Simply by making us wait he increases our desire, which in turn enlarges the capacity of our soul, making it able to receive what is to be given to us. So, my brethren, let us continue to desire, for we shall be filled." Saint Augustine (On John 4, 6)
I'm sorry to be asking for prayers again but I am really struggling. I feel sins from the past are being shown to me. I'm going to medjugorje shortly but feel terrible and wonder why God is angry with me. I've been to confession over and over but still feel abandoned and desolate. I'm trying my best. Again, I'm sorry this has been going on for so long but I am suffering. There are times when I feel God's presence and I make the sign of the cross but then it goes away again. There are also times when I tell Jesus that I love Him over and over again and really feel Him in my heart but then I experience darkness , discouragement and desolation again. Thanks for prayers.
I recommend going to Lourdes instead of Medjugorje. Lourdes is an approved apparition with real healing miracles. Medjugorje has been condemned by the local Bishop and is doubtful, possibly demonic. You will have our prayers in our family Rosary, as other forum members. May our Good Lord and His Blessed Mother lead and guide and bless you.
Prayers today and offering up Mass. I wish I could offer some good advice but without knowing what is actually causing all this I have no idea. Perhaps a Spiritual Director or a Doctor might know. Life can, of course be difficult and involved real suffering and struggles, but not, ordinarily at this depth and oa long period of time. Anyway you are top of my prayer list today.
Clinical depression can last a lifetime without a med that works properly. It’s everything he is describing. I think mental health is one of the most hidden and painful interior sufferings. On the outside one looks fine. St. Therese spoke on interior suffering and how much more meritorious it was, because often only God sees how agonizing it is to the person. But if they pray, offer the suffering up and hope it will be rewarded greatly in the next life.
I have experienced depression for many years. Most often with myself it means there is something the Lord is trying to express to me, in me or through me. It is like I am not resonating with something He is trying to show me. I find asking the Holy Spirit to reveal this followed by being silent helps. Eventually something will come out and the depression released to a certain extent. I don't force it, but simply rest. I find this can be done while going for a walk or sitting in silence. Once whatever it is that needed to come out comes out, there is normally relief. I believe this is the experience for many artists, it is an outlet. But if it doesn't come out the tension can lead to all sorts of pain. I also find reading the Psalms help, especially the ones which are lamenting. This is just my experience and I don't know your situation. I hope it may be useful.
That’s a beautiful explanation. I have noticed in my own life, a good Catholic counsellor is helpful. They can help you to really see what the root of it is. This of course on top of a solid prayer life and as you said listening in silent prayer. I have realized there can be layers of darkness, depending on trauma or other things that haven’t been properly grieved or dealt with. The spirit and body are so linked. Fr. Boniface Hicks speaks a lot about this topic and currently I am into Dr. Garry Crete, a Catholic psychologist that works in the area called, “ Internal Family Systems.” He has a new book called, “ Litanies of the Heart.” It explains IFS treatment in counselling.
You are in my prayers as usual, Peter! O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Thanks Pax Prima. I started counselling this month. I have had two sessions already and will continue to attend. Hopefully it will help with things.
I'm not mad at you, Michael; Lourdes is marvelous and, yes, Medjugorje has question marks. I was bothered, however, by your wording, real healing miracles. Geralyn and I visited Medjugorje in December, 1987, when our first two children were 3 and 1. I received a supernatural healing myself, during evening Adoration, restoration of my right eye while kneeling in prayer. It was both real and supernatural. I am certain Our Lady had a hand in it. Chalk it up to Maternal sympathy. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
My experience is that there can be layers of "darkness" as you mention, which need to come up and out. But also, sometimes there can be gifts of the Holy Spirit which have either been suppressed or have reached a time to be recognized. Another way I have done this is by simply grabbing some clay and sculpting it while being silent. I have seen my share of miracles as well. I have seen people slain in the spirit, smelled roses while no one was around, watched a 55+ woman slip and crack her head on a rock on cross mountain without injury and heard many testimonies. I get that there are "problems" with Medjugorje, but I suspect you haven't been there. The first time I attended an apparition I heard many female demoniacs crying out in absolute agony. They went off the very moment Mirjana fell to her knees. I know because I watched Mirjana as she went to her knees. There is no where in the Catholic world to my knowledge where all of these kinds of things are happening.
