Sanctus Just place one foot after the other. That's all Jesus asks of you. When insight is taken from you and all consolation is veiled in darkness (as has been happening to you for years) , then go to Mass in this darkness; present this darkness to the Lord, in trust! God sees you have recourse to Him. At Mass we are in Heaven! To be there in our darkness, we can not comprehend that we are carrying the petitions and the longings of all those in the same darkness. But we are! Those poor souls who do not have recourse to the Holy Sacrifice of the mass! So therefore your petition and anguish, on their behalf is powerful ! You and I, and all Catholics are called to take humanity to the cross and present our petitions there at the Mass, where we can Love Him who died for us! we are called to trust. This trust He calls us to, will save many souls. I know your darkness presented to the Lord in trust, will be a light for many souls and transform their world. But for you Sanctus ..... Oh my goodness, through your faithful adherence to Our Lords decrees and His Church and the humble offering of your darkness, this will transform you from a sinner you feel you are, to the saint you aspire to be! May God continue to bless you. As a by the way have you ever considered the monastic life? I say this because the disciplines of monastic life seem to be life giving to souls that agonise and question.