Following up on our visit to the funeral home for anyone who may be interested in the rest of our story. We made all of our funeral arrangements, it was a bit traumatic to discuss such things in detail but it is done. We had no prior experience with funeral homes so we basically went into this blind, all I can say is that it was certainly an eye opener. Even though we cut many corners, choosing inexpensive caskets and eliminating as many services as we could, the cost was still staggering. As an example, just for the 3 mile funeral procession to the church with a hearse and no family cars it was $1000 per funeral. Then there is the journey from the church to the cemetery, body transfers, body preparation, the organist and singer at the church, and on, and on. Thankfully my husband is a military retiree so we have free plots and markers at the National Cemetery, without this it would have been even more costly. Honestly, even though we made very conservative choices we were both a bit shell-shocked when we walked out of that funeral home. At the same time there is a sense of relief that our funerals are taken care of, and our children will not be burdened with any decisions or cost. It was quite the morning.
Yes, it’s traumatic. I felt that way when we made our wills. We have our plots and we have stated in our wills where our funeral Masses will be. You two went the greater distance. You are right, the cost is staggering. When my brother died in 2011, the cost of visitation was $1000, way back then. But you are covered now. I’m glad you did this. You can breathe now
I think at funerals people can be very vulnerable because they are already upset at the death of a loved one and many people have never arranged a funeral before. So they can be lambs ripe for the picking. I found out the other day that one of my brothers had saved up a considerable amount of money for his funeral. I have not saved a cent. I never really thought much about it. But its true it would be charitable to arrange things so no one else will have to pay for it. I must also make a Will. These are the kind of things I and most people put off. Perhaps there is some kind of funeral insurance I can buy. I know some credit unions pay for your funeral if you join them. I must make an effort. I don't want to be a burden to anyone else. The thing I would most like to do is to arrange for Gregorian Masses said for my soul after I die. I must see if there is a way of doing this...
Imagine a life were there was no suffering at all. A Garden of Eden with no pain and no suffering. I think that would be the ideal for most people. This is why ,for instance, people try to get as much money as they can. So they can live in comfort. I remember the Abbot in a Monastery saying one time how sorry he felt for people like the British Royal Family who are born into Great Wealth. He said everybody else thinks that if they get a lot of money they will be comfortable and happy. But he said those who are born into wealth no that money does not buy happiness and so have no hopes in that regard. If life were to be a Paradise there would be no Spiritual Progress. Suffering, pain , the trials of life are what make life worth living. If there were no Cross we would be like Spiritual Jellyfishes basking in the sun of life and getting exactly nowhere. Suffering is the oil that makes our Spiritual Engines tick over. If we seek to avoid suffering we seek to avoid spiritual cleansing and growth. So we see in the lives of the saints that they could actually embrace their Crosses with joy. https://www.catholicexorcism.org/post/exorcist-diary-337-a-sign-of-true-sanctity Exorcist Diary #337: A Sign of True Sanctity We had been exorcizing her for almost four years. It had been a long grueling process and at times we wondered if we were making any progress. One day she walked into the center for her next session and her face was beaming. It was full of joy. Not surprising, she was largely freed up shortly thereafter. There is no room for demons in a joyous heart! Similarly, before a recent session, as always I asked the afflicted person how he was doing. He said the demonic attacks had been lessening. This is good. But then he said something striking: "And I am starting to feel joy." I asked, "Has this ever happened before?" He answered, "This is the first time in my entire life. I never knew what joy was." He, too, is well on the road to recovery. We are in the season of Lent and some think that a dour countenance is a sign of holiness. Rather, as St. Teresa of Avila noted: "God save us from sour-faced saints!" St. Therese of Lisieux spent her last days dying from both the ravages of tuberculosis as well as suffering the dark night of the soul. Despite these sufferings, the sisters present at her deathbed said that her face beamed with a heavenly joy. We just celebrated Laetare Sunday which means "rejoice". It is no accident that walking through the Lenten Passion with Jesus brings joy. There is no other source of true joy than in Jesus-- not drugs, not sex, not witchcraft, not riches, not a self-centered life. Perhaps the most reliable measure of whether one is truly speaking the Gospel Truth is the presence of joy. Perhaps the surest sign of sanctity is a divine radiant joy. “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete." (Jn 15:11) ---------------------
I think one of the very great Signs that our Catholic Faith is the true one is the way it embraces suffering. Other religions may seek to avoid suffering, or say it is illusional or a bad thing. Catholics on the other hand are led to embrace, pick up their Cross and follow Jesus. In other words the Cross is at the very centre of all we are and do. I don;t think we get this anywhere else. https://scepterpublishers.org/blogs...m3w-4jPawQwUIaNBHVt4OZPvrsPEQGtQD1KbSWkeHQiQP 7 Saint Quotes on the Value of the Holy Cross: “Apart from the cross there is no other ladder by which we may get to heaven.“ – Saint Rose of Lima “In difficult moments, I will fix my gaze upon the silent Heart of Jesus stretched on the Cross, and from the exploding flames of His merciful Heart, will flow down upon me power and strength to keep fighting.” – St. Faustina “The cross is the school of love.” – St. Maximilian Kolbe “Mount Calvary is the mount of lovers. All love that does not take its origin from the Savior’s passion is foolish and perilous. Unhappy is love without the Savior’s death. Love and death are so mingled in the Savior’s passion that we cannot have one in our hearts without the other. Upon Calvary, we cannot have life without love, or love without the Redeemer’s death.” – St. Francis de Sales "Do everything for God, uniting yourself to him in word and deed. Walk very simply with the Cross of the Lord and be at peace with yourself." - St. Francis de Sales “As they were looking on, so we too gaze on his wounds as he hangs. We see his blood as he dies. We see the price offered by the redeemer, touch the scars of his resurrection. He bows his head, as if to kiss you. His heart is made bare open, as it were, in love to you. His arms are extended that he may embrace you. His whole body is displayed for your redemption. Ponder how great these things are. Let all this be rightly weighed in your mind: as he was once fixed to the cross in every part of his body for you, so he may now be fixed in every part of your soul.” – St. Augustine "If you seek patience, you will find no better example than the cross." - St. Thomas Aquinas "Everything is a reminder of the Cross. We ourselves are made in the shape of a cross." – St. John Vianney “How precious the gift of the cross, how splendid to contemplate! In the cross there is no mingling of good and evil, as in the tree of paradise: it is wholly beautiful to behold and good to taste. The fruit of this tree is not death but life, not darkness but light. This tree does not cast us out of paradise, but opens the way for our return.” – St. Theodore the Studite “But far be it from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” – St. Paul "The more deeply the cross penetrates, the better; the more deprived of consolation that your suffering is, the purer it will be; the more creatures oppose us, the more closely shall we be united to God." - St. Paul of the Cross “If you seek patience, you will find no better example than the cross. Great patience occurs in two ways: either when one patiently suffers much, or when one suffers things which one is able to avoid and yet does not avoid. Christ endured much on the cross, and did so patiently, because when he suffered he did not threaten; he was led like a sheep to the slaughter and he did not open his mouth”. – St. Thomas Aquinas "No one, however weak, is denied a share in the victory of the cross. No one is beyond the help of the prayer of Christ." - Pope St. Leo the Great “Let us adore the Cross. It is the sign of the Christian, and the sign of Christian victories. Cross and Blood: what must that wood have looked like after the death of our Lord! The Cross was soaked in the Redeemer’s Blood; and so when you see a Cross, think of the Blood of Christ, poured out for you, and don’t deny him what he is asking you for. When we opened our first house, I had a cross put there without the Crucified Christ, as a shout, a cry, a loving act of atonement to our God, an invitation to each of us not to despise the sufferings we may meet in our lives.”- St. Josemaria Escriva “We cannot go to heaven in featherbeds.” - St. Thomas More "Let us look to the cross and be filled with peace, knowing that Christ has walked this road and walks it now with us and with all our brothers and sisters." - St. Teresa of Avila "God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering." - St. Augustine
Padraig, expense seems to be one of the reasons for cremation today. A little funeral can cost 20,000 dollars easily, here in the states. not everyone has insurance or savings when an unexpected death occurs... It comes down to the costs for most.
I wonder do any Catholic Dioceses do a form of funeral insurance. It would be a really lovely idea. I know here the Catholic Credit Unions do this.
It is definitely an emotional and financial challenge to make such arrangements. Our recent day of reckoning at the funeral home shed some light on why so many Catholics families are forced to cremate loved ones. I think the funeral industry charges exorbitant prices for their services, and yes, people may be taken advantage of in their grief. The Gregorian Masses are a must for me too, I plan on setting aside funds specifically for this purpose.
The first point in my will is that arrangements be made for the saying of Gregorian Masses. This is not easy to arrange in busy parishes but the Catholic charity, Aid to the Church in Need will arrange for a priest in need of funds in the third world to celebrate the Masses consecutively. So those requesting the Masses do not only a good deed for themselves but also for some impoverished priest.
I woke up last night about 3 am and was drawn to pray for the soul of a Cardinal who died way back in 1977. I was touched by how humble and penitent he looked, poor man. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Conway_(cardinal)
