Yesterday afternoon I was suddenly filled with a sudden strange sadness and heaviness. It was so unusual for me for I am usually filled with joy. I was mistakenly filled with foreboding thinking it boded ill for the world. But I had noticed my neighbour Cormac who lives in the upstairs appartment had not been about for about two weeks. Cormac was a very small ,about five two , very Irish old guy of about 63 . I've known hm now for about thirty years, a very old and dear friend. I always worried about his soul and tried to talk to him about God and the need to go to Church. Once a few years ago I criticised him for not having any holy pictures in his appartment. We talked and I found he was angry about his mother who treated him and his brothers and sisters very,very badly. I told him he had to forgive and after much persuasion he did. The next time I visited his flat was full of holy pictures. I asked where they came from . He had the hidden. Now they were on his walls. Now he forgave and could put the up again. But he never went to Church never ever. Anyway About four hours ago I called the police and we found hm dead beside his bed. Because his little dog was angry and protective I had to go in alone. He lying beside his bed his mouth opened in what looked to e very much like a scream his arms before him as though to protect himself from some one or something. I have never seen a face showing such horror and I have seen many die and dead. My problem is I cannot pray for his soul for if I do God often tells me where they are and I am so afraid He will tell me. So please pray for Cormac McEntee for me. For I am too afraid to pray. ..and am sadder than ever....very afraid. So sad I cannot even cry, but mostly fear , for there is a death beyond death...a death that is eternal. I loved him and struggled for his soul....but......I do not know.....yet
Oh Padraig! I am so sorry you have had to go through this. What a lucky and fortunate soul he was to have a friend like you. God surely put you in his life to save his soul. I hope and pray for that outcome. May this soul, faithfully departed, through the mercy of God, rest in His peace. May God, who is the King of time, delay Cormac's judgement until prayers are said for him. I will offer my Mass for him today and tomorrow.
Marti I can never understand mothers who are terrible to their children. My own was so good..and holy, as where my grandmothers. God understands this and will weigh his bad upbringing in his favour. Still we all make our eternal bed and must lie forever in it... but I am not without hope, the holy pictures on the wall..... and of Our Lady.....
But still I never got the evidence of the conversion I so sought. I know I will find out shortly. But ...well....
Padraig, I'm so sorry for your loss. I will make an offering at mass this morning and prayers for you both. I'm so sorry, not only a loss but total shock. "Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer."
I'm sorry the hear such sad news about your neighbour, I have added him to my prayer intentions. O Sweet Heart of Jesus, for the sake of Thy Bitter Passion and the Sorrows of Thy Immaculate Mother, have mercy on the soul of Cormac and let the Light of Thy Countenance shine upon him, may he Rest In Peace. Amen.
Padraig Cormac was given a gift of grace to have a friend like you. I will pray for him at mass tonight and commend him to the merciful heart of Jesus who could read and understand Cormac's heart like no one else on this earth Mary
Thanks so much Mary. God's mercy is so great. In what can I hope, then, or in whom ought I trust, save only in the great mercy of God and the hope of heavenly grace? --Imitation of Christ
Mariam, What a beautiful and appropriate prayer. Amen! Let us trust in the Hound of Heaven Who leaves no stone unturned in reaching out to each and every child! Safe in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary!
Thanks Bi. I think sometimes I do not know how much I love someone until I loose them. I find I am in quite deep mourning. I also wish he had attended church more often than just his baptism. I am not judging him, just worried about where he has been sent on to...
I'm very sorry for your loss Padraig, but I feel the Lord put you into his life so that you would pray for him. And the Lord hears every prayer!! It's very difficult to trust at times like this but we have no other option as believers. Don't lose hope. I will pray for ye both also. God Bless BC
I never loose trust in His mercy Bc, nor confidence in His justice. It's the justice part has me currently concerned for He utterly, utterly just Sister Lucia:She opened Her hands once more, as She had done the two previous months. The rays appeared to penetrate the earth, and we saw, as it were, a vast sea of fire. Plunged in this fire, we saw the demons and the souls. The latter were like transparent burning embers, all blackened or burnished bronze, having human forms. They were floating about in that conflagration, now raised into the air by the flames which issued from within themselves, together with great clouds of smoke. Now they fell back on every side like sparks in huge fires, without weight or equilibrium, amid shrieks and groans of pain and despair, which horrified us and made us tremble with fright (it must have been this sight which caused me to cry out, as people say they heard me).The demons were distinguished by their terrifying and repellent likeness to frightful and unknown animals, black and transparent like burning coals. That vision only lasted for a moment, thanks to our good Heavenly Mother, Who at the first apparition had promised to take us to Heaven. Without that, I think that we would have died of terror and fear.We then looked up at Our Lady, who said to us so kindly and so sadly: “You have seen hell where the souls of poor sinners go. To save them, God wishes to establish in the world devotion to my Immaculate Heart.”
Yes I understand the concern you have Padraig about His justice. A very close relative of mine died a few months ago. She was dead for some time when I saw her but the look of horror on her face will haunt me for a long time. I queried it with the consultant whose care she was under and he said I must have been mistaken because he said the muscles in the body relax when one dies. I still wonder about her soul...and if the truth be told am afraid to pray for her in any depth... I just realised that now in writing this.
Well don't be afraid to pray for her or for anyone BC. Such prayer is never wasted. I am praying away for Cormac but I firmly asked God not to let me know His fate.I am certainly not without hope entirely. I'll tell you a sad story about something like these. When I was a child at the prayers for the dead I could only think of two people to pray for , my two grandfathers. As time went on and I prayed for other relatives I always received an inner assurance of them being saved, with the exception of one , my grandfather Caughey and even as a child I had the uneasy feeling his soul was lost , this even though since I was a child I had been told nothing at all about his inner misdeeds. I recall one time as a child telling my mother about this feeling and the look of great shock on her face but I also read that he too had grave doubts about his salvation. As time has passed I now know he was a very great scallywag. he ran out and left his wife my grandmother in great poverty and had several wives at the same time. My father shortly before he died was doing research into a family history found old court records in Dublin of my grandfather had been convicted on several occasions of severely mistreating his children. We should trust in the mercy of God but should never commit the sin of presumption of simply assuming. I notice the modern fashion of priests assuming such mercy and committing a grave presumption when giving funeral homilies with absolute horror. It is not for them to hand out visas to heaven. Nor to take the place of the just judge at the bar of heaven. Grace is free. But it is not cheap.
