My ongoing struggles with anger seem to be coming to an head over these few weeks and days, so much so that I think, please God! My struggles with sexual sin may no longer be what they once were. I really need prayers to finally overcome this, please pray!
I will pray. Remember also that you are never alone, RosaryWielder. Also, call frequently upon your guardian angel to assist you and to fight against the evil spirits that have cultivated this gap in your spiritual armor, especially at times when your temper is just rising to the surface. Pray the St. Michael the Archangel prayer any number of times during the day for the angels are readily available. The idea is to nip the anger before it can dominate. This is very important if you aren't yet tied into a group of personal Catholic friends who are willing to pray for and with you. In the long term, we cannot stand our ground as lone rangers. Yes, there are such things as hermits, but few are called to this. Best to be like St. Francis, who opened his heart to like-minded men to help rebuild the ruined chapel where Christ first spoke to him. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Prayers today. Admitting and being aware of our faults is the biggest step of God's grace to defeat it. I used to love Mother Angelica talking about her struggles with her anger, she was so aware it was a big, big problem for her but she kept a wonderful sense of humour of her efforts to control it. She could laugh at herself, bless, I think being able to laugh at yourself is more than half the battle. Perhaps the most gentle, mild saint ever was Saint Francis De Sales. He had the most atrocious temper ever when young but , through God's grace he appeared to overcome it entirely. So much so he appeared to be a total lamb. But after his death they found under his chair deep scratch marks he had dug with fingernails keeping his anger in check. Poor man. His temper was under control but at what a cost! I was talking to a young priest in confession last month and he said each of us have our own particular demons to fight . This has stuck with me. We are all different we each of us fight our own particular wars. It is so interesting with Mother Angelica. She did not say that anger was wrong. It is what we do with the anger that can lead us to sin.
For this, I've noticed that three things help me the most. The first is this. In the picture is Pamela Anderson, one of the women who was considered a sex symbol throughout much of the 1990s and 2000s. This is how she looks today—or even "worse," depending on how some people might judge it. My intention is not to humiliate her or criticize her appearance, but to point out the reality of the human body as we age and of life itself. Is anyone really willing to risk their relationship with God for something like this? Every one of us will eventually reach this stage. Every human body, no matter how beautiful it may be, will end up like this. In the end, only bones will remain, worn away by the passing of time. We love the person—their inner being, their depth—and that is what love truly is. It is there that God and the human person are united. People today talk about love and about loving someone more than at any other time in history, yet perhaps we have never loved less. We love ourselves, pleasure, and the body—not God, and not the other person. It's as if someone said they loved hazelnuts and walnuts, but in reality they loved only the shell and the outward appearance. When I love walnuts and hazelnuts, I love the fruit inside, not the hard outer shell. Believe me, you don't want to trade the fruit for the shell. There are many YouTube videos with millions of views about how to stop watching pornography. Many men, especially young men, say that when they fall into pornography, even if they are not believers, they feel as though they experience a spiritual fall, becoming separated from something greater that had been sustaining them. The same is true for people who cheat on their partner or commit any kind of sexual sin. You can genuinely feel that spiritual decline. Those who become increasingly immersed in it often become more morally corrupted and seek increasingly distorted forms of sexual gratification because ordinary things no longer satisfy them. This can progress from orgies, to same-sex acts among people who otherwise identify as heterosexual, to partner swapping, and even to violent acts such as strangulation. It becomes something dark and contrary to God's intention. In fact, every form of lust ultimately ends this way—it leaves a person feeling empty and hollow. The greatest good is God. It is not worth betraying God for something so temporary. God is not the one who suffers loss; rather, we do, because we separate ourselves from goodness and the fullness of love for something merely physical and fleeting. The second thing is this. I don't know whether you're a parent or not, but you are someone's child. I know there are many parents reading this, and in the end, we are all children. There is no love in this world not even between spouses who deeply love each other quite like the love a parent has for a child. I believe it is the greatest love that exists. Very few parents would hesitate to give their life for their child. They would gladly take on their child's suffering, pain, and tears, and they would move mountains if it would help their child. Then imagine giving your child everything not only materially, but also your love, sacrifice, and devotion. You look at your child as though they are heaven itself, yet in many cases that same child eventually turns away from their parents, rejects them, or simply forgets them. What kind of pain is that? To love someone with all your heart, only to have that love go unreturned. This doesn't apply only to parents and children. It happens when you love someone and do everything for them, yet they never notice. When you work hard at your job and your efforts go unrecognized while someone else receives the promotion. Whenever your sacrifice is ignored or unappreciated, it hurts. Every one of us has experienced that kind of pain in one way or another. Every time we commit such a sin, we place God in that same position of being rejected and wounded. Whenever I am tempted, I remember moments when I myself felt deeply hurt—even though it is painful to revisit those memories—and I compare my own experience with what I would be causing God if I chose to commit that sin. That helps me abandon the temptation. Because if I love God, I do not want to cause Him that pain. The third option is this. St. Benedict and St. Francis, when they experienced strong bodily temptations, would throw themselves naked into patches of nettles to suppress those desires. I haven't tried it myself because the first two approaches have been enough for me , but if nothing else, I suppose it's good for circulation and the joints. As for anger, at any given moment someone is mourning the death of a family member, someone has lost their home, someone has lost their job. The real question is whether my reason for being angry is truly worth it. Will anger actually help solve my problem, or will it simply damage my health? Think back to a hundred occasions when you became angry. Did anger help, or was it rational problem-solving, prayer, and conversation that made the difference? I know it's easy to write all of this, but it is the small steps that bring about great changes. Most of the time we become angry over trivial things, while the things that might truly deserve our anger are often overlooked. Deep breathing also helps. Clear your mind, step away from the situation for a moment, and return to it once you have calmed down.
I think your anger and sexual sin could be two sides of the same coin. Each one feeds the other. The Lord has a plan in it all though and may allow you to struggle with it for another little while. He is with you and has provided the help you need at this time, namely confessions, mass and the prayers and support of your spiritual brothers and sisters here on this forum. You are becoming stronger spiritually every time you confess, even though it may not feel like that, but you are. If you consider all the people who give free reign to anger and to sexual sin, but never think of how they offend the Lord, you can stand in the gap for them and make reparation by offering your struggles to Jesus and uniting with him in how He suffered for the specific sins of anger and sexual sins. The devil hates that kind of prayer, but Jesus loves it and He now has your company in his sufferings. You become his soul mate in a sense. Hang in there!
