I have for quite a long time been wrestling, prayerfully with the Cross to come. I know from what I have read and understood in my own prayers known in my heart that very,very great changes are coming to the world and I have not found it easy to handle. For change in my life I have not ever found easy but changes ithat are so huge bring the greatest challenge. I live a very quiet prayerful life and as time goes by this life grows ever more quiet and prayerful. I like nothing better walking on my own with the good Lord praying and if it were possible I should like nothing better than to do so untill the good Lord called me home. My concern is not just for myself but for my brothers and sisters around me, one sister for instance is a widow with several small children and I realise I'll have to be particularly active to hepl her. But when I think abut things I realiesed that a lot of my worries are very selfish. Its not that I am so much concerned about others or the world around me, my number one concern has been about myself. I want to be on my own, praying and so long as I can do this the rest of the world can go to pot. I suppose this realisation of my own deep selfishness is par t of the grace the Good God gives me in this time to help me deal with it. The challenge of what is coming will force me to grow by forcing me to reach out to help others and this leads to growth. I suppose in a way the challenge of what is coming is a bit like a mather who faces the birth of her child. The mother is giving birth to something great and wonderful which will give joy to herself and all around her. But it is something which will give great joy and be a great gift so that the pain and anguish ,the danger and challenges seem very,very small in terms of the what it shall give. What is coming then, is less a challenge than a great gift. So I find myself in the very curious position of being carried in MAry's arms again , a very, very small squalling child held close in his Mother's arma , rushing towards a most uncertain future. For the last period of time I feel as if I am floating in the arms of a great, great joy and peace. So great in fact that it is often heart stopping and so huge that I have to stop and catch my breath. The littlest of bebies finds itself opening its eyes and crying out to its mother not to hug it so hard and with such great love!! The baby is afraid it is being hugged so hard and with such warmth it is afraid ir might die of the love it is being given!! Yes hard times come, fearsome times but Mary holds me in her arms and runs with me, how can I fear?/ I am held so hard and so close. More the love that God holds for me He holds for all men. So let Mary hold us all in her arms and run with us towards our blessed future. Something new and wonderful is being born in our poor broken world. A new child is being born. Let us greet its coming with joy! Mary Mary Queen of Peace carry us in Her arms as the Prince of Peace is born.