Time for a laugh!

Discussion in 'Coffee House' started by Border collie, Jul 7, 2016.

  1. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    DesertStar7 and Sam like this.
  2. Adoremus

    Adoremus Powers

    For the first 3 statements I assumed Trixie was a dog. Imagine my surprise when I got to line 4 :D
     
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  3. miker

    miker Powers

    You may have seen some of these before…. They still make me chuckle:



    They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:






    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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    The sermon this morning:'Jesus Walks on the Water'.
    The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus'.
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    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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    Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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    Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday eveningin the church hall. Music will follow..
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    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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    Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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    This evening at 7 PMthere will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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    And this one just about sums them all up:
    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
     
  4. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    My neighbor does this same thing! One cat is a fat cat named Palen and is on a diet. The other, Lilly is underweight and needs more food. My neighbor has to hide Lilly’s food from Palen. If she’s not looking, Palen pushes Lilly to steal her food. This goes on all day! I’d lose my mind if I had to referee two cats all day! Guess she really loves them…like kids;)
     
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  5. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie


    These were good!
     
  6. BrianK

    BrianK Powers Staff Member

  7. Denise P

    Denise P Archangels

    HeavenlyHosts and BrianK like this.
  8. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

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  9. BrianK

    BrianK Powers Staff Member

  10. RosaryWielder

    RosaryWielder Hoping to get into the Illuminative stage soon.

  11. Jo M

    Jo M Powers

    If the shoe fits....
    E-PkR2-XIAEqli2.jpeg
    For those not in the US, 'Trader Joe's' is the name of a very popular specialty market.
     
  12. BrianK

    BrianK Powers Staff Member

  13. BrianK

    BrianK Powers Staff Member

  14. AED

    AED Powers

    Beth B, Mario and RosaryWielder like this.
  15. miker

    miker Powers

  16. Mario

    Mario Powers

  17. miker

    miker Powers

  18. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

  19. Muzhik

    Muzhik Powers

    Hallmark flannel guy.png
    As it SHOULD be!
     
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  20. AED

    AED Powers

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