Discussion in 'Coffee House' started by Border collie, Jul 7, 2016.
From the Babylon Bee
CDC: 'Just Because You Got The Vaccine Doesn't Mean You Should Go Outside Or Ever Experience Joy Again'
February 8th, 2021
ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has issued a reminder that just because people get the vaccine, that doesn't mean they should go outside, experience human interaction, or have any kind of joy or happiness in their lives ever again.
"We noticed people were getting the vaccine and then just assuming because vaccines are designed to make people immune to viruses that they are immune to the virus. Then, they were doing crazy things like going outside, interacting with other people, and being happy," said a CDC spokesperson. "And all of this because doctors and scientists kept pushing the vaccine as though it were a cure-all solution that would make you immune to the virus. Well, that view is now considered anti-SCIENCE. And if you disagree with SCIENCE, you are literally murdering grandma. Literally. Like with a baseball bat."
The newly revised guidelines indicate that people who have not yet been vaccinated should stay home, masked, in a bubble, forever. Those who have been vaccinated should do the exact same thing, except they are allowed to have a smug look on their faces for being vaccinated. Except you can't see the smug look. Because of the mask.
What is the benefit of getting vaccinated, then? "Well, there are many benefits," the CDC spokesperson said. "But the best benefit of all, of course, is that you're on the right side of history. But still, stay in your home and be sad and depressed forever."
Judge Roy Ferguson
IMPORTANT ZOOM TIP: If a child used your computer, before you join a virtual hearing check the Zoom Video Options to be sure filters are off. This kitten just made a formal announcement on a case in the 394th (sound on). #lawtwitter #OhNo
1:06 PM · Feb 9, 2021·Twitter Web App
Love the Bernie meme
These memes are way too funny, even for a cat.
Hysterical, all of the above.
What a stitch!
I love how expressive the kitty face is! The eyes shift from side to side, the mouth moves in sync to the man's voice...I want to get that filter!
Here’s a feminist story for you all:
Here's the Babylon Bee's take on this:
Doctor: "...as long as you're under someone's care who's [????]"
Sounds Like: "...as long as you're under someone's care who's a Muppet."
Don't know if you'd heard, but Disney is now putting a warning card onscreen for 30 seconds before every Muppets show, warning that it contains racism, etc., and we're only keeping the show on to encourage conversations, etc.
Separate names with a comma.