Do you know who could help you in a big way. Marino Restrepo! His email address is; firstname.lastname@example.org He does travel and give talks. He can also be contacted by email. I hope sharing the email will not cause poor Marino an avalanche of emails from people who are not in real dire need. Blood of Christ, cover Marino's email address with Your precious Blood, allow only Sanctus to remember it. Amen. Marino Restrepo was into all sorts of silly dangerous stuff when Jesus showed him where he was headed (to hell). If you want to know more about him, his testimony when he went to New Zealand some years ago was the best version I heard in getting to know all about his straying away from the Faith at 14 years of age and his reversion in his 40's. Pray about what bothers you and ask the Lord to help you bring the main problems to Marino. Once you have heard the mission Jesus has put him on and the extraordinary graces he receives for every one who comes to him, you should have a lot of confidence in him. He is Church approved.