I have always suffered from quite a severe claustrophobia and would really fear prison and lock up. I think the panic would overcome me so it's always at the back of my mind if I was to suffer for the faith how much I could actually endure without breaking.I can't imagine for one minute what Padraig endured in prison if they put a bag over my head I would literally die of shock from the panic. And I get disorientated in pitch black that leads to an excruciating interior and uncontrolled panic. It's hard for me to explain I literally would rather suffer immediate martyrdom than imprisonment. The latter would be a true joy in comparison. It's not something I can control it is a real phobia. Perhaps I should pray to our Lady for healing?
Yesterday is gone , tomorrow is yet to come so we are left with only the Sacrament of the present moment. When I went into prison I had a phobia of roaches, but there were so many of them we became quite good friends Before going into prison I was very choosy about my food. A after I could eat anything with joy. Shaking hands with the devil is often the best way for a throat punch
You have that Irish gift for a turn of phrase Padraig. I reckon you could write an autobiography no bother at all.
An interesting thing I read last year is that, according to the Bishop of Stockholm, prisons are the most religious places in Sweden, a nation devastated by secularism. I wonder if this happens because, with a contrite heart, the experience becomes a reproduction of monastic life: restricted life, deprivations, extreme solitude, separation from friends and family, so much so that a cleric’s visit often becomes the only ray of light and hope. This was part of the calvary endured by Saint John of the Cross and so many other saints who inspired the revival of faith amidst the dark night of the soul.
It may be a buried memory of anxiety, fear, and or panic which forms the basis for this all-too-real phobia. May Our Lady's tender intercession bring into the light what the fundamental trigger is so that you can knowingly cast your cares upon the Lord. Also, your guardian angel knows the root cause, so be sure to ask for his guidance and intercession. He is ever ready to help you! Lord have Mercy on garabandal!
I had a dream last night that I had just arrived in Medugorje with seven friends. However three old men from the village came up to us and told us we could not enter the pilgrim sites because of our previous bad behaviour. Saddened by this but as my father said never go where you are not wanted I decided to explore outside the village and began to climb a nearby mountain with a remaining friend. Three other friends ignored the ban and headed into the village . As I went up the mountain my remaining friend started behaving badly, I rebuked him for it. We fell out and I headed on up the mountain on my own. At this point it began to snow quite heavily. Then from a house three local men came out to abuse and call me names. They laughed at me and said I would get lost and die in the snow. I decided to return down the mountain to Medugorje wondering what to do. Here I was in a foreign country on pilgrimage banned from going into the sites , alone and what was I going to do for the next few days. Suddenly a feeling of joy and hope filled me. I would spend the time on a super retreat. I would find a nearby Church and spend my time in front of the Blessed Sacrament on my own. When I woke up I recalled the words of St Paul. What will separate us from the love of Christ? No matter how bad thing may get nothing can ever separate us from the love of Christ but ourselves Nothing .
Bishop Strickland is such a joy. But he reminds me of the words of Jesus when He cured the the ten lepers and only one came back to thank Him. He looked sad and said, 'I cured ten, where are the rest?' Where are the other Bishops?
