Prayers. St Therese of Liseaux is sometimes called the Patron Saint of Atheists her darkness was so deep. It may well be what you going through may be a purification ,a Dark Night. I ahve insufficient information to know. But in the past reading the writings of st Therese was a huge help Prayers tonight. https://spiritofcarmel.wordpress.co...f-liseux/the-dark-night-of-the-little-flower/ The Dark Night of the Little Flower If you only knew what darkness I am plunged into…Everything has disappeared on me, and I am left with love alone. Thérèse says that she was plunged into a darkness “far from all suns.” Looking for heaven she says, a “fog surrounds me and becomes more dense; it penetrates my soul and envelops it in such a way that it is impossible to discover within it the sweet image of my Fatherland; everything has disappeared!” It is true that at times a very small ray of the sun comes to illumine my darkness, and then the trial ceases for an instant, but afterward the memory of this ray, instead of causing me joy, make my darkness even more dense. My will is to endure, by Love, The Darkness of my exile here. When I consider the dark night of the Little Flower, I know she really understands my very own dark night. When I came across this little flower growing from a weed this morning,I instantly felt a presence from heaven. St. Therese came to mind. I found this quote by Thomas Merton that describes what I was feeling. “The saints are not mere inanimate objects of contemplation. They become our friends, and they share our friendship and reciprocate it and give us unmistakable tokens of their love for us by the graces that we receive through them. And so, now that I had this great new friend in heaven, it was inevitable that the friendship should begin to have its influence on my life.” Thomas Merton She is a real heavenly friend to me and she is inevitably influencing my life with her graces as I journey to Carmel. “I have often heard the ironic statement that faith is simply “a crutch” to help those of us who are weak and lame, whereas the strong have no need of it. It is not “a crutch,” but it might be compared to a pilgrim’s staff that assists us on our journey through life. Maybe when someone is just about to cross the threshold of home, when the staff won’t be needed anymore, it falls from his hands; it’s not surprising if he loses his balance for a moment. “Seen from the other side”–from the viewpoint we can only experience here as an assurance, as hope–beyond that threshold, at the moment we lose all supports and certainties, there awaits us an embrace of love that will not let us fall into emptiness.” Richard Becker Faith is converted into love–sometimes not until the last gate, sometimes earlier, perhaps. Where faith dies, love continues to burn so darkness cannot have the final victory. Is it our love or His? It’s a pointless question. There is only love. Beyond faith and hope there is only love.