Please pray for my family...

Discussion in 'Prayer requests' started by heyshepard, Apr 2, 2017.

  1. heyshepard

    heyshepard Archangels

    Please pray for my family as my father in law right now is looking for his wife who had passed away about eight years ago. I apparently am the bad guy because I'm trying to be a straight shooter and use Catholicism as an answer. My wife and i have been with him almost every day and it always that we are the asses because we are tying up our life being with him at the nursing home every day.
    Patty likes this.
  2. Mary's child

    Mary's child Powers

    heyshepard and Carol55 like this.
  3. Patty

    Patty Archangels

    You are and your family are in my prayers heyshepard. Dealing with someone that has dementia has got to be so heart breaking. They don't know what they are saying but it hurts just the same. Offer up your suffering to the Lord and He will bless you.
    heyshepard and Carol55 like this.
  4. CathyG

    CathyG Principalities

    You and your family are in my prayers. I remember my grandfather was the same before he passed. He insisted my grandmother had visited him in the nursing home (maybe she did) even though she had just died. Not sure why others would have problems with your being with him unless they were feeling guilty for not? Trust that God is with you in this trying time.
    heyshepard likes this.
  5. soldier of christ

    soldier of christ Archangels

    Sometimes it is harder to help family members more than it is to help a complete stranger. Do your best, and hopefully when you meet again in heaven, you will be very glad you did. Praying very much for you during this difficult time.
    Booklady and heyshepard like this.
  6. AED

    AED Powers

    Praying for you heyshepherd and for your family and father in law. Part of the suffering that so richly blessed byOurLord when offered is the suffering of ridicule. Poor people who treat you this way. Poor poor souls. Your father in law is right now "the least of your brothers" and therefore you are "tying yourselves up" with Jesus Himself. Keep faith. You are doing what He asks. What others think or say doesn't matter.
    Dolours, Carol55 and heyshepard like this.
  7. padraig

    padraig New Member

    Prayers going up.

    When my father was dying of cancer one time he went into a rage when I visited saying that I was laughing at him and demanded I be removed from the sick room. :cautious: I understand from my sister who was nursing him that he had not been to easy one her or her family either. But I understood from the Hospice that it is quite common for patients who are very unwell to behave in bizarre and aggressive ways as it is a result of our illness.

    We can all be the same to some extent , for instance of we go to work tried or with a headache we can have short fuses. When someone is unwell you can multiply the short fuse by a factor of hundreds. People in Hospices and Nursing Homes can be at the end of their fuses altogether.

    I love the stories of the saints and how they relate to people who are to deal with. St Therese of Liseaux wrote of an old nun in her convent whom she found hard to stick ( I suspect everyone else did) . St Therese went out of way to be pleasant. After a while the old lady asked St Therese, 'Sister what is it about me that you like so much?' Which is a very great compliment to the saint. I suppose the best thing to do is to try hard to pretend we get on with someone and maybe eventually we will. :)

    I'll tell you a funny thing happened to me one time. There was a young brother I found it very,very hard to get along with. But suddenly he changed and fell over himself being nice to me. I was baffled and kind of concerned about this. What could be happening? Was I going nuts? :D Suddenly it clicked . The poor guy was imitating St Therese and was going out of his way to be Mr Nice. I said this to him and his jaw fell open and I could see I was right on target. :) I explained to him that I preffered Mr Nasty as it was more authentic and he went right back to normal, thank goodness.

    But it was good of him trying. I could see it took a lot of effort. :D

    If it were myself and I could see that talking directly about religion to someone annoyed them , I wouldn't talk about religion directly.

    There is more than one way to skin a cat.;)

    heyshepard likes this.
  8. Dolours

    Dolours Powers

    Your family will be in my prayers.
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  9. heyshepard

    heyshepard Archangels

    Thank you all very much for your prayers, compassion and words of wisdom. My wife texted me and told me that he is doing much better. Barb and I will not give up on him. it's tough to watch redemptive suffering. We feel helpless but we cannot even touch the pain that Mother Mary must have felt watching Her Son go through His ordeal. Her faith must have been so strong.

    Thanks again!
    Dolours likes this.
  10. Booklady

    Booklady Powers

    I too will add you and your family to my Rosary. May Our Lady give you and your family the graces of strength and forbearance.
    heyshepard likes this.
  11. djmoforegon

    djmoforegon Powers

    Heyshepard, you and your wife are doing God's work. First of all, God trusts you enough to be the ones to help usher a beloved soul out of this life and into the next. That is an honor.

    Secondly, it will be difficult at times but each experience will always be tinged with the most lovely of spiritual graces that you will know comes directly from heaven. You will be called on to pray the rosary, the Divine Mercy chaplet, or read from the Psalms that encourage strength for the battle or Psalms of praise for God's holy works.

    Dying is extremely difficult for both the soul leaving but also for those who help in that journey. When the birthing into the next life is complete, the sadness will be overcome by the most inexplicable joy because heavenly creatures have joined you in that room.

    I was blessed once to help a dear 106 year old woman prepare to have her meeting with God. She was an elegant woman who paid more attention to her wardrobe than I ever did. Every morning she woke up and greeted me with "Damn, I'm still here!"

    The nuns who had invited her to spend her last days in their convent loved her as much as she loved them. The Mother Superior was a nurse and instructed me on signs to look for as she gradually lost interest in food and liquids.

    I knew she had entered a new phase when I tried to sit in the chair next to her bed and was told that I was squishing her uncle David. Every other place I tried to sit or stand was already occupied so she sent me down to the kitchen to prepare a banquet so her guests would be fed. I "made" roasted chickens, rosemary potatoes, Boston baked beans, and enough apple pie so everyone could have a piece to take home. After her guests left, she asked to be dressed in a beautiful peignoir; yes there was a beautiful peach colored one hanging in the closet. I helped her into it. (I was later gently reprimanded for doing this as it is not the easiest gown for hospital wear.) But it made Winifred so happy.

    I was informed by Winifred that three golden trains were coming into the station and she would be leaving us. I asked her if I could go also and she giggled and said that there was no room on these trains for me.

    That night she drifted in and out of consciousness and her breathing became very labored. I thought about waking up the nuns but saw an image of the Divine Mercy Jesus and started praying the chaplet. By the second decade, her breathing was calmer, shallow but peaceful.

    I had to leave in the early morning and the nuns told me they gave her a grand send-off by kneeling around her bed and praying her into the next life.
    I wish I had been there but I got to experience one of the most beautiful events in my life. To think that God trusted me enough with the leave-taking of one of His beloved children makes me happy to this day. So, God bless you and your wife with this very special task!
    Dolours, Jeanne, heyshepard and 2 others like this.

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