I assisted at an abortion

Discussion in 'The Signs of the Times' started by AidanK, Sep 11, 2020.

  1. AidanK

    AidanK A great sinner

    Dearly beloved brethren please help me. In 1986 I was a young and naive student nurs undergoing the theatres part of my training. One particular morning I was detailed to be runner during an op on a woman undergoing a "dilation and curette" as stated on procedures list. This op usually referred to as "d and c", is a common procedure for women with menstrual problems. The lining of the womb is scraped in order to reduce heavy periods. While fetching and carrying for the theatre staff , I was unable to observe what was taking place. Then the surgeon dropped a ton of bricks on me by asking at the procedures end if all the "products" had been accounted for. On enquiring what this meant , I was informed that he referred to the "products of conception". Then the reality hit me and as young student nurse desperately needing to pass his exams I felt unable to say anything. At this time abortion was illegal in N Ireland thence it's being termed a "d and c". Later that evening I was sick with the enormity of it all. Despite having confessed and receiving absolution on a number of occasions I am still choked by horrendous guilt about being there. My brethren have you any ideas at all as to how I might manage this guilt? Having said all that, I recognise the true victims here are the tiny infant that suffered this abdominal butchery and its mother. Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.
     
  2. "Quis ut Deus"

    "Quis ut Deus" Powers Staff Member

    Yes aidin the answer is quite simple you did no wrong and Jesus himself would say those very same words..

    Like Simon of cyrene you where simply a passer by who did not want to be part of the crucifiction before your eyes.. God bless you for your testament and may he comfort you in your pain
     
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  3. "Quis ut Deus"

    "Quis ut Deus" Powers Staff Member

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  4. AidanK

    AidanK A great sinner

    Thank you my brother in Christ
     
  5. Serena

    Serena Angels

    You were not initially aware of the full extent of what you were assisting at, therefore you shouldn’t feel guilty, and even if you had an inkling, and felt pressured because you were a student at the time, the fact that you confessed and received absolution, means you are forgiven. If God has already forgiven you, who are you not to forgive yourself? This guilt is not healthy, nor is it from God. The guilt you experience is not for you to ‘manage’ or be in control of, but it needs to be surrendered and handed over to Jesus. Jesus took your guilt and shame on the cross for you, so you must stop holding onto it, surrender it to Jesus. God is so, so good and merciful, please do not doubt this.

    “ Any mental picture of your life that focuses on past sins is a lie and thus comes from the devil. Jesus loves you and has has forgiven you your sins, so there is no room for having a downcast spirit. Whatever persuades you otherwise is truly a waste of time. It is also something that offends the heart of our very tender Lover.(Jesus)” St. Padre Pio

    Words of Jesus to St. Faustina:
    “Sins of distrust wound me most painfully.” (Diary 1076)
    “Tell her that her disbelief wounds my heart more than the sins she committed.” (Diary 628)
     
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  6. Tanker

    Tanker Powers

    It is a heavy load. You have been forgiven through confession. Maybe you can pray for the mother of that baby that she have a conversion back to truth. You don't know her but you can pray for her anyway. That might lessen the heavy load.
     
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  7. Adoremus

    Adoremus Powers

    A priest once told someone I know in confession that once you have confessed a sin and received absolution, you must never confess that sin again. To repeatedly confess the same sin offends God, since it indicates a lack of trust in his mercy and a lack of belief that he has truly forgiven you. If he has forgiven you, then you also must forgive yourself. "When God forgives, he forgets", that is how this priest put it to my friend.

    Having said that, without knowing the full details it doesn't sound to me like you sinned in that you did not knowingly or willingly take part in the abortion. Maybe there is more to the story than that but from what you've said, that is what it sounds like to me, as Quis has also pointed out. I can imagine that the disgust at the proximity to such a thing alone would haunt a person, but I don't think the burden of guilt is on you in this case. Trust in God's mercy.

    Edited to clarify: by 'the same sin' above, I mean the exact same incident, not repeated sins of the same kind.
     
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  8. Julia

    Julia Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

    As far as I know pretty much all nurses doing midwifery in the UK are obliged to do a stint on wards where abortion takes place.

    So there are a whole load of Christian men and women who have been forced to go against their conscience just to make it through the training program.

    Pray for them AidanK, as a means of making reparation; you can also light a candle for the unborn who are aborted when you go to Mass.

    God has forgiven you in confession, you just need a way to learn to forgive yourself. God bless and take care of you.
     
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  9. Blizzard

    Blizzard thy kingdom come

  10. Don_D

    Don_D ¡Viva Cristo Rey!

    Rest assured AidenK. The Lord has no memory of it. Remember, the Mercy of God is greater in quantity than all the oceans of this world.
    It is not however always so easy for us to forgive ourselves. Don't let the memory of this be a leverage point for doubt but instead a reminder of God's unceasing love for us.

    Jesus, I trust in you.
     
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  11. "Quis ut Deus"

    "Quis ut Deus" Powers Staff Member

    This prayer fits perfectly here

    Simon of cyerene....

    Heavenly Father, whose most dear Son, as he walked the Way of the Cross, accepted the service of Simon of Cyrene to carry his physical burden for him: grant us each the grace gladly to bear one another’s burdens, for the love of him who said, “As you did it to the least of these my brethren, you did it to me,” your son Jesus Christ our Lord, who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever.Amen
     
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  12. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

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  13. "Quis ut Deus"

    "Quis ut Deus" Powers Staff Member

    Aidan I hope you can realise how Jesus has lifted your burden tonight by sharing your pain he has lifted you up in his divine arms hugged and kissed you with the replies from complete strangers who are by the power of the Holy spirit unamous in thier response "you are free" I feel like dancing with joy and am blessed to share this moment with you I wish I was there in front of you to embrace you what joy Christ has poured out tonight.. Thank you for sharing...

     
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  14. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    Aidan, I am glad you shared this. Perhaps it was not an abortion at all, but a d&c done after a miscarriage. That is done after the embryo or fetus has died, and there are still products of conception in the womb but the baby has died in the womb from natural causes. The procedure is done to prepare the womb for the future health of the woman. Something to think about. It is probably a common procedure.
    God bless you and give you peace.
     
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  15. Advocata Nostra

    Advocata Nostra Archangels

    Praise God that the Holy Spirit has brought you to this next step in being healed, Aidan! It must have been a tremendous suffering to endure for so long. For whatever reasons, you are now connected to this mother and I believe she is still in need of your prayers. God has chosen you to intercede in some capacity. It’s all redeemed in the power and the mercy of God. Be of good heart.
     
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  16. Katfalls

    Katfalls Archangels

    Aiden, what did Jesus say to the sinner? "Go and sin no more." You confessed the sin and repented. It is done. Don't beat yourself up over it, it is in the past . . .Gone! Don't let the devil continue to torment you. Peace!
     
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  17. AidanK

    AidanK A great sinner

    O my dear brothers and sisters, thank you all so very much. Such wonderful fellowship. But then why expect anything else from true Christians?
     
  18. Muzhik

    Muzhik Powers

    If, for whatever reason, you feel the need to perform some act of reparation, may I suggest arranging to have 30 Days of Gregorian Masses said for the infant.
     
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  19. AED

    AED Powers

    God has forgiven you Aiden but you must forgive yourself. That is the hard part. I know. I carry the same sadness. Offer up the pain of it in reparation for this scourge on our nations. Thats what I try to do. It is spiritual suffering. But truly you have confessed it. Jesus long ago forgave it. Forgive yourself. In Jesus's Name. And be at peace.
     
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  20. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    oh my gosh yes!John is so right!

    You’ve suffered as a innocent here....whatever culpability there is, is not on you! Anyone of us here could easily had been conned this same way. You’ve even confessed....your conscience needs to rest and you need to forget it...God does not remember this if ever you needed to confess it to begin with. So sad that this torments you...no more I pray! It may have never been a abortion....
    Please have peace and trust Jesus!
     
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