Dearly beloved brethren please help me. In 1986 I was a young and naive student nurs undergoing the theatres part of my training. One particular morning I was detailed to be runner during an op on a woman undergoing a "dilation and curette" as stated on procedures list. This op usually referred to as "d and c", is a common procedure for women with menstrual problems. The lining of the womb is scraped in order to reduce heavy periods. While fetching and carrying for the theatre staff , I was unable to observe what was taking place. Then the surgeon dropped a ton of bricks on me by asking at the procedures end if all the "products" had been accounted for. On enquiring what this meant , I was informed that he referred to the "products of conception". Then the reality hit me and as young student nurse desperately needing to pass his exams I felt unable to say anything. At this time abortion was illegal in N Ireland thence it's being termed a "d and c". Later that evening I was sick with the enormity of it all. Despite having confessed and receiving absolution on a number of occasions I am still choked by horrendous guilt about being there. My brethren have you any ideas at all as to how I might manage this guilt? Having said all that, I recognise the true victims here are the tiny infant that suffered this abdominal butchery and its mother. Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.