Husband's friend is problematic

Discussion in 'Prayer requests' started by DesertStar7, Jan 17, 2020.

  1. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 To Jesus + through Mary @-}--

    Please pray that the Holy Ghost turns Tony's attention solely onto his wife.

    My husband has known Tony since early 1990s. I first met him (and 1st wife & kids) in 1999 or 2000. He remarried in 2008.

    He has an infatuation with me. I've not encouraged it. I haven't set foot in his home / on his property in 20 years.

    Especially since 2015 (why?), he's trying to involve "us" with him as much as possible (gifts, favors, invitations to his family celebrations). I've refused invitations and don't acknowledge gifts/favors. Husband has brushed off my stated concerns.

    I got a text message from Tony a week ago. :unsure: It can only be that Tony suggested he send photos of husband standing beside their project, with a text, and husband gave him my cellphone #. :X3:

    This guy just will not give up, apparently. :cautious: So please offer up prayers that he gets an illumination or little lighting bolt upside the head. :confused: I do not KNOW this man, am increasingly concerned that he might want to "cash in" on his "goodwill gestures."

    Thank you.
    Last edited: May 4, 2021
    Jo M, Mary's child, Beth B and 3 others like this.
  2. Don_D

    Don_D ¡Viva Cristo Rey!

    My prayers are with you Desertstar and your husband, I have experienced something similar years ago but it was my friends wife and it unfortunately ended any possibility of friendship which it became obvious was not what it seemed to begin with.
    I know you said your intention was not to start a conversation but in these days this sort of thing is becoming more and more openly accepted and something many of us will have to face in one way or another, either us, our spouses or IMO more likely directed toward our children.
    Mario, Beth B, AED and 2 others like this.
  3. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 To Jesus + through Mary @-}--

    Today this man gave my husband more gifts (items he'd purchased for himself or his wife; a leather hat, office chair back rest, shoes).

    Including his wife's PREGNANCY PILLOW. o_O For me.

    I'm actually sort of glad this man is mildly disabled from a back injury, as his chronic pain likely prevents him becoming even more problematic. :coffee:
    Last edited: May 4, 2021
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  4. Mario

    Mario Powers

    Praying against this soft harassment. This man has an overactive imagination which the devil is stoking. Come and assist DS7, St. Michael!

    Safe in the Refuge of St. Joseph!
  5. AidanK

    AidanK A great sinner

    How do you know he's infatuated with you DS and not simply very needy and trying to 'buy' friends?
  6. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 To Jesus + through Mary @-}--

    No, this is infatuation with me.

    His friendship with husband is secure and reciprocal; there is no need to "buy."
  7. archangel michael

    archangel michael Principalities

    Block his cell phone number
  8. Jo M

    Jo M Powers

    Good advice.
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  9. Jo M

    Jo M Powers

    Could your husband tell him that you are uncomfortable accepting these gifts? Sorry to hear that you are in this situation DS, I will pray for you, and for this man to end this disturbing behaviour. :(
    Mary's child and DesertStar7 like this.
  10. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 To Jesus + through Mary @-}--

    Cellphone # blocked after the first text he sent in January 2020.

    My husband has a combination of a mild head injury and a strange over-loyalty to friends. Two of his friends (one is female) I've (rightfully) complained about (NOT nagging) in the past, including Tony; it gets brushed off. :(

    But what I will do is tell husband we don't need items for the house. If he wants to accept a cap, shoes, repair manual (men's stuff) from Tony, that's his business. But no more objects for household use.

    Last year husband showed up with bed headboards from Tony. (n) Nice "sleigh bed" headboards. That was the first to make me uncomfortable, but it's also furniture.

    This pregnancy pillow is the final straw. It's absolutely inappropriate. It was his wife's (who is 14 years my junior and mother of an active 7-year-old who also works full-time, so hence we're not friends).

    It's been placed into a deep closet and will soon do a "disappearing act."
  11. PurpleFlower

    PurpleFlower Archangels

    Honestly, it sounds like he gives y'all whatever stuff his family wants to get rid of, maybe because it's easy? Has he ever made an inappropriate comment to/about you?
    DesertStar7 likes this.
  12. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 To Jesus + through Mary @-}--


    In early 2000 he made advances, and when I rejected those he had his (then 1st) wife believing there was "something between us." She became hostile, accused me of following her and their two kids around a store. :unsure: I did no such thing. He phoned (our landline then), yelled at me to stay away from his family. :unsure:

    For years after I would inconvenience myself by taking alternate routes to prevent driving past their home (on a busy street), to avoid further trouble.

    For years there was no communication between husband and Tony, but they made up and resumed a friendship. I wished that hadn't happened. My husband can be foolish about friends.
  13. PurpleFlower

    PurpleFlower Archangels

    He sounds strange. What a mess. I'd spend more time talking to your husband and get him to understand how you're feeling, so he'll avoid Tony as well.
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  14. Jo M

    Jo M Powers

    Yes, that pregnancy pillow is just too weird. ;):(
  15. Jo M

    Jo M Powers

    I agree. Easier said than done, but it may be in your best interest to convince your husband to keep his distance, it does not sound like a healthy friendship. I don't even know this Tony guy but his behavior seems off, perhaps he has some mental health issues going on.
    RoryRory likes this.

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