Husband ... he's "lost."

Discussion in 'Coffee House' started by DesertStar7, May 30, 2021.

  1. BrianK

    BrianK Guest

    Honestly @padraig , it sounds as if of all the people in attendance, he felt you would be the most likely to agree with him and give him affirmation of the sentiment expressed in the card he gave you. He might even have been searching for a compatriot who might help him spread his cards in this new-to-him parish. I don’t think from what you describe he was chastising you personally, but you were there and his body language may have spoken otherwise.
  2. padraig

    padraig Powers

    It might have been because I was snoring while I was sleeping. :)

    I don't know because I was sleeping. :D

    Or it might be as you say...
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  3. padraig

    padraig Powers

    I think family and prayer and love can be compared to a stone thrown into a quiet pond. We watch the ripples spread out across the surface going everywhere.

    Love and prayer are like that too. They spread out like ripples but they hit those nearest to us first and the nearest to us are of course our own family and even within a family these ripples of love and prayer have their own priorities.

    There is nothing wrong with this, it is perfectly natural, this is the natural order of things that God created so the ripples of prayer spreading out to those closest then from family to closest people, the ones in our street or farmland the people at school and work, then for our city onwards to county and state and Nation and so.

    SO the phrase, 'Charity begins at home ' has a real truth. This is the way God made us. We are not a member of a particular family for no reason. Families look alike reflecting the inner truth that inside they are alike too, I mean at the deepest spiritual level. Which is why saints tend to give birth to saints.

    When i was converted my eyes of prayer turned at once to my family whom I loved so very,very much. We were very, very close indeed. I recall a priest friend who visited saying we were the closest family he had ever seen. Oh yes we bickered and fought but still so close. However conversion brought new eyes and Is aw how many of them were very far from the Kingdom, so of course I prayed and prayed and prayed for them all for many , many years.

    But one day Our Lady came to me and told me it was all right, that they wanted me to stop torturing her about them that she promised me that all of them would obtain salvation and she wanted me to turn my eyes of prayer more outwards to others and other things. To give it a rest , in fact... or to give her a rest.:D

    But you know grace is free, but it is not cheap. If we really want our loved ones to be saved we have to put our shoulders to it and do the prayer work. Prayer, prayer and more prayer....and if we really, really do love them this should not be a big problem.

    Prayer, prayer, prayer and more prayer, years and years and years and years of prayer and then more years of prayer.:):)

    Matthew 7:9

    "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

    Last edited: Jun 6, 2021
  4. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Guest

  5. padraig

    padraig Powers

    I dressed up very formally in a suit and shirt and tie , with National lapel pin the next day , looking like a million dollars going to mass to sit in my usual place, for what was only daily mass , not Sunday..
    Why? Well people tend to judge us by the way we look. It is so sad but true. I wanted a bit of respect and no more little cards. :)

    A kind of don't treat me too casually thing. :) I saw them staring, I think they took the po;)int.

    They were in tee shirts and casuals , me looking like the City Mayor. The label pin indicating political power. A kindly nudge.:)

    I am afraid people do judge us by the way we dress. The inner hippy within me hates this. It's just the way we are.


    I might doze of in Church, but I was a million dollar looking, powerful looking dozer in Church, snoring or not. Perfectly entitled to doze and snore too. Which makes all the difference. Kings may doze..look at sleepy Joe, peasants may not:D:D
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2021
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  6. padraig

    padraig Powers

    James 2

    2 My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

    5 Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?

    8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”a]">[a] you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. 10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 11 For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,”b]">[b] also said, “You shall not murder.”c]">[c] If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

    12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

    Which is why giving the Eucharist to Rich and Powerful, well dressed, mass baby Murderers, so called, ' Devout Catholics', like Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi is so wicked.

    Last edited: Jun 6, 2021
  7. Clare A

    Clare A Archangels

    I know a lot of people leave the Catholic church, not because of doctrine, but because it isn't perceived as welcoming. For myself, I prefer to concentrate on Our Lord during the Mass and not feel bound to greet people until afterwards. I find the sign of peace distracting and all that singing exhausting. I don't want to sing. I want to pray. The communion hymn is fine while one waits to receive, but after that, one should concentrate on the Lord's special presence. I don't sing after receiving Communion. Then often the priest wants to waffle on about parish events in the newsletter and again I ignore it. With so little focus on what is really happening when we receive the Eucharist (and what the Eucharist really is) people are misled into thinking church is just a social event with God thrown in and of course Catholicism doesn't offer so many social events.

    After Mass it's lovely to gather in the church hall and have coffee, chat, make new friends, etc etc. Building community is a very good thing, but it should always be centred on the Eucharist.

    When we moved to the US (there for 3 years) I found my parish rather difficult. The priest was a modernist who seemed intent on destroying people's faith. A nearby parish was icy cold. I tried it, handed in a new parishioner's sheet which was snatched from me wordlessly. I was never spoken to after that. The parishioners were mostly from families which had always lived locally and they weren't interested in anyone else.

    So, yes, I understand how awful the parish experience can be in the Catholic world. It would have been so tempting to jump ship then and join the Southern Baptists with their friendly greeters, pot lucks and Bible studies. What actually happened (and I apologise for talking so much about myself) was that I was forced to examine what I did believe, which I hadn't really done before, in order to cope with the modernist priest, as it was his parish that I stayed with. I also developed my prayer life and found myself praying hard for him in a spirit of love rather than judgmentalism. Through the providence of God I came across an orthodox journal, the National Catholic Register, and it led me to present day orthodox writers and books. Having to examine my beliefs was extremely good for me. I wasn't aware until then of the big difference between 'progressive' and orthodox Catholics. God was very good for me in that time of spiritual growth, he led me to a lady who taught True Devotion and led rosary meetings in her house. I wasn't ready then for the Consecration, but she influenced me enormously and it was good to have someone who agreed about the awful theology of the liberal priest.

    On returning to the UK, I had a shock because British Catholicism was rife with modernism and leftist thinking. The Catholic Herald was terrible - I had become very loyal to and defensive of Cardinal Ratzinger and here they were, attacking him all the time. Ugh. Well, things moved on from the 1980s but as we know, spiritual formation is a must, expecially in the present time.

    I can see how people do melt away into the protestant groups - they offer a degree of sociability that we Catholics often lack.
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  8. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Guest

    :( That is AWFUL.

    I had a similar experience in August 2010 (husband's then-Presbyterian church). Except these people feign a level of friendliness ... until you officially join. Then you sort of cease to exist (except when they need help with something).

    A lifelong Presbyterian from Tennessee, who was there during our stay, who also served as Deacon and Elder (he moved back to TN in 2017 and has since died) told us, "I have NEVER seen a Presbyterian church like this one." He said "There is no love here."
  9. AED

    AED Powers

    I feel the same Clare. Too much noise and distraction. Especially after Holy Communion when I deeply crave silence to be with the Lord. The TLM cultivated an interior silence and deep reverence. I believe the young are drawn to the rich sacredness of this Mass because whether they realize it or not Heaven descends to earth at the moment of consecration. We are in the presence if Angels and Saints and above all the Triune God. A hushed silence is the natural response. Quite honestly twanging guitars are just so out of place. And all that Hail Fellow Well Met before and during Mass---as if Jesus our Lord and Savior is not present in the Tabernacle--it is RUDE as well as potentially sacrilegious. I try to offer it in the spirit of their being of good will and unaware of their rudeness to Christ Our Lord and that the awful music is still their effort to praise God.
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  10. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    This is so typically Irish humor....gotta love it! The dress up for mass story reminds me of a scene that you might see in the movie, TheQuiet Man....btw, the best movie ever!
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  11. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    Wickedly EVIL!
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  12. Donna259

    Donna259 Powers

    that's funny. In Adoration the men fall asleep often and begin snoring. I have brought my ear buds and turn on Gregorian chant when this happens. I can't pull a Therese and offer it up. I am far too distractable :)
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  13. BrianK

    BrianK Guest

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  14. AED

    AED Powers

    Good idea!
    The elderly nuns at the adoration chapel sometimes fall asleep. It is sweet actually.
  15. josephite

    josephite Powers

    I will pray DS7 for your husband, I believe he will see the light as he witnesses you journey with God in the fullness of truth; because he definitely already possesses the grace of searching for the truth!

    My husband on the other hand was a non practicing Anglican (known as Episcopalians in the US I think) before I met him. He turned Catholic for me before we married and did attend Sunday Mass for a few years with me after we married, but I can pretty much say he is , a depressed soul (also disabled) who normally blames God for every bad thing that has ever happened to him. If he became interested in attending any church, first I think I would fall over backwards with shock, but after recovering, I would look upon this change as a glimmer of hope.

    I realise you are worried and I know all situations are different. Your Husband sounds like a very good man who is searching for the truth and I believe the Holy Spirit will draw him back especially with you living the true faith as an example.
    May God provide your husband with the graces needed at this time. Amen
  16. josephite

    josephite Powers

    Yes prayers to St Joseph is the answer, for so many problems today.
    Thank you Terry
  17. josephite

    josephite Powers

    Your situation sounds like mine Ellen,

    however, at times I become discouraged with the weight of the cross, like over the last few days when I attended the First Holy Communion of my grandson (a long 8 hour dive away, we stayed for 3 days), it was beautiful, but I witnessed two of my nonpracticing children go up and receive Holy communion:cry:, I believed all my children knew better! this has really shaken me!

    I was shocked and honestly I don't know what to do about this, I couldn't bring it up at the gathering as the inlaws were there, I've spoken to God about this, and He gave me consolation indicating that He will enlighten my children in due time, however this consolation could be a ruse from the devil, so I am left hanging and again must just trust and hand all over to Our Lords Divine Mercy.
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  18. josephite

    josephite Powers

    I know Heaven is delaying this event for reasons unknown to me , but I think of all the souls who have recently died in a state of mortal sin who might have been saved by this illuminating event!

    My thoughts exactly!
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  19. josephite

    josephite Powers

    Wow, so many Catholics searching in protestants faiths, I was unaware of this prevalence, but the Lord has allowed this and brought you all home! Alleluia!

    I also left the faith for about 2 years in my late teens but I didn't search in other dominations because I knew God was in the Catholic faith, so why look elsewhere!
    I just gave up on God! (not on the fellowship of the congregation), so I suppose, I was in worse shape than others seeking Him elsewhere.

    I knew God listened and cared about His children but despite how hard I tried or prayed, I realised God was not listening to me therefore He did not care about me. I equated it to the circumstances of my life at the time, (an alcoholic father and an emotionally absent mother). I falsely believed I must have been too wretched for God to care about, so I left the faith.

    However in Gods infinite Love, He showed me His intimate care and drew me back to my home. The Catholic Faith.

    May we all experience Gods great Love, the Love He Has for each individual created soul that He breaths life into. You are special! You are His! You are Unique!
    God Bless You and all of us. Amen
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  20. josephite

    josephite Powers

    Very well said DS7
    We all need to feel Gods presence in those that are special to us and those that profess the same faith, being the communion of saints we crave this! But at times even those that are suppose to be the closest to us, betray His presence.

    This can be devastating when we open up to strangers and are dismissed but it can be utterly devastating when we open up to a seemingly holy person who are supposed to be close to us and we are dismissed.
    Either way it means we are being called to place our trust in Jesus alone, as He is drawing us closer to Himself and allowing us to experience His cross at these times.
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2021

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