Husband ... he's "lost."

Discussion in 'Coffee House' started by DesertStar7, May 30, 2021.

  1. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Guest

    Since 2016, he's attended three different churches.

    Last year he officially joined a Baptist church on the west side of town.

    A few months ago he began attending a Wednesday morning Bible study at a different Baptist church, and today made his second Sunday morning "visit" to it.

    Husband's family neglects him (and each other). He's disabled. It's become apparent to me that husband wants a pastor who is also a buddy, and all things considered I'm not surprised ... but that's not a reason to switch churches.

    Really wish he -- a lapsed Catholic -- would return to THE Church.

    Praying. :coffee: I alternate between feelings of sympathy versus (mild) exasperation.
    Xavier, Byron, josephite and 9 others like this.
  2. Mario

    Mario Powers

    You must feel alone, DS7. I will pray to St. Joseph for your husband.:notworthy:

    St. Joseph, take this son of the Father under your care and speak to his heart. Draw him back to the True Faith and help ease the pain in DS7's heart!

    Safe in the Refuge of the Immaculate Heart.
  3. ellen

    ellen Ellen

    Desert....If I didn't totally believe and trust in what Jesus has told us "And whatsoever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.”..... I would be a basket case times 10 over!! :eek::eek:

    He told us that we could move mountains with our prayers and I believe him!

    ALL my children ,ex husband and extended family members are on the " highway to hell". There's no getting around that fact. Its very obvious by their words and actions.

    I should be running around.... losing sleep, wringing my hands and mumbling "WOE IS ME!"because of the seriousness of it!

    BUT...I am strangely at peace, however,because I trust and believe Jesus's words. I try to keep myself in a state of grace and in his friendship.

    I know (and expect )that he will answers my daily/yearly prayers for my "doomed" family members and grant them salvation!!
  4. AED

    AED Powers

    I could have written this. Like you I live in hope and faith that even though it might be at the last minute my prayers will be answered.
    DS there is a reason Our Lord brought you to this marriage. Your faith is a sign God hasn't given up on him.Keep praying!!! (I totally get the exasperation part!!:))
  5. ellen

    ellen Ellen

    Lord Jesus..... Could you possibly put a "hustle " on the Illumination of Conscience?? I'm really hoping that will change the direction of their lives!

    I know Heaven is delaying this event for reasons unknown to me , but I think of all the souls who have recently died in a state of mortal sin who might have been saved by this illuminating event!
  6. Sam

    Sam Powers

    DesertStar7 at least your husband is searching for Jesus! Bible study? Well, good! I went in a protestant way for a while, before God showed me where I belonged and I realized where the fullness of faith was. Praying for your husband!
  7. AED

    AED Powers

    Yes Sam me too. I returned to the true Church through the back door of protestant churches ;)
    I was given a great grace--a longing an actual hunger and homesickness for the Holy Eucharist.
    josephite, Michael Pio, Jo M and 6 others like this.
  8. BrianK

    BrianK Guest


    From your keyboard to God’s ears!
  9. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    We are all agreeing in prayers to the Lord Jesus for your husband to return to the True Faith, his birthright, SOON.
    Last edited: May 31, 2021
    josephite, Michael Pio, Jo M and 6 others like this.
  10. Lumena

    Lumena Archangels

    I went into Protestantism too, for some years, but it was reading a Book called "Rome Sweet Home" by Scott Hahn that turned me around and changed my life
    josephite, Michael Pio, Jo M and 7 others like this.
  11. Donna259

    Donna259 Powers

    I'm sorry DS7. I will pray to St Monica for your husband.
  12. Clare A

    Clare A Archangels

    A cradle Catholic, I church shopped after my conversion in 1973at age 19. I had been influenced by the Christian group in my hall of residence. I tried the Anglicans and the Baptists and still have a great respect for the latter. However after reading a book on Newman I could see my own story being played out. I returned to the true faith in 1976 and have never looked back. Being Catholic then needed a lot of faith! I don’t understand how people can abandon the Eucharist for a simplistic message. So much seems to hinge on social matters with people who leave. As DS7 says, they want buddies. I know one old lady who recently joined the Methodists as they are friendly. Her husband of 50 years, a Catholic deacon, left her for a younger woman. It’s all desperately sad. The real remedy is for a deepening of faith so that when one attends church one seeks Jesus, not friends
    josephite, Michael Pio, Jo M and 7 others like this.
  13. Te Deum

    Te Deum Archangels

    I read recently that a Mass said for a living soul had more efficacy than hundreds said after death. So, I have enrolled husband and daughters in Perpetual Masses. A gift bouquet, and surprisingly, costs very little. I remember my own mom giving me that gift for my 21st! It worked out well for me so hoping for the same outcome for my family. I pray every day for their return to the faith. Maybe that's an option.

    It surprises me that so many here have similar stories regarding family.
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2021
    josephite, Michael Pio, Jo M and 4 others like this.
  14. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    I’ll be praying for him…I think he’ll be coming back!
  15. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    That’s exactly where I am! Jesus, I trust in You!
    josephite and Michael Pio like this.
  16. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    josephite, Michael Pio and Te Deum like this.
  17. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Guest

    Well, I do have a "confession" to make (having mentioned it before, but certainly don't expect anyone here to remember):

    I was born and raised in a tight-knit farming community in the upper Midwest of USA. If not farmers, most were blue-collar workers. A handful of white collar (dentist, doctor, lawyer). Most were 3rd generation immigrants. The bank teller's husband might easily be your neighbor's cousin.

    Church was therefore friendly (Lutheran until age 6 was a bit subdued, but Nazarene ages 6 to 21 was JOLLY). I became accustomed to people greeting each other while getting out of their vehicles, chatting as they walked in, talking (and even laughing) in the foyer prior to Sunday School, talking and laughing AFTER Sunday School en route to the sanctuary.

    After church: Same. And I mean even INSIDE the sanctuary.

    Chatting and calling "see ya later!" on departing.

    Monthly potlucks usually lasted from 12:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. (a scant 2-1/2 hours prior to start of Sunday EVENING service).

    Hugs. Pats on the back. Hair ruffled. Adults clowning at teenagers just learning to drive; pretending to have horrified faces before throwing their arms up as a protective gesture. The pastor would jump around and laugh while playing keep-away with a bean bag with us kids (we called this game "bean bag") in the church basement. :whistle: We'd all get rosy-cheeked and a bit sweaty!

    VERY gregarious. VERY expressive.

    So despite my wishing husband could move past "my pastor is my buddy," I do prefer a level of sociability; it's what I knew growing up.

    While I learned this is NOT done in Episcopalian or our Church, it took some doing. :X3: I still sometimes expect a "Hello!" or a smile and little wave of the hand by some people at least, on arriving or departing. My parish does not have an official greeter at either this standard?

    It is Scriptural for Christians "to prefer one another" and to "greet each other with a holy kiss."

    My final Protestant church showed sociability towards kids and teenagers, while most adults were very aloof. :unsure: One lady, maybe 20 years older than me, had been a school teacher. I discovered that she did a weekly reading at our public library by accident. During a "potluck" there, she and husband sat at our table. Everyone was very quiet. I decided to ask "Lorraine" (not her real name) about her library gig:

    "So, Lorraine, I see you read to the kids at the public library?"


    "How long have you been doing that?"

    "Five years."

    "I'm sure you enjoy it, and the kids too."



    If that conversation had occurred in my hometown, it'd have gone this way:

    "So, Lorraine, I see you read to the kids at the public library?"

    "Yes! How did you find that out? Oh, you must've seen me reading to them, right? Yep, I do that every Tuesday morning."

    "How long?"

    "Five years. You know I'm a retired school teacher, and this is right up my alley. I just love kids; well, it goes without saying. The library needs volunteers, I gladly stepped up. Say, DS7, I know you like to read. Maybe you'd consider volunteering to read? I'd be glad to recommend you."

    "Sure, I'll consider it. Glad you enjoy it so much."

    "Oh, I DO. The kids are so attentive, and I especially get a kick out of one little boy who (she goes on to describe how bright, inquisitive, engaging) .... but of course I cherish them all." Then she'd proceed to share two or three more anecdotes.

    I don't understand, outside of actual worship and time IN the nave/sanctuary, such aloofness, avoidance, coldness, or monosyllabic answers. :coffee: Christians are supposed to evince an affection towards each other; it should come naturally, to a demonstrable degree.
  18. Beth B

    Beth B Beth Marie

    Yes, my sentiments as well!
    josephite and DesertStar7 like this.
  19. ellen

    ellen Ellen

    So many "solid " Catholics ( here at MOG) have come from Protestant churches!! Those Lutherans, Baptists and Episcopalians must be doing something right!

    Speaking of Lutherans....
    I just now came from a little ''meet and greet''with my new neighbor...a friendly glass of wine and some chat... She noted that I was Catholic because of the Miraculous Medal that I wear.

    In the course of our conversation... she revealed that she too was once a Catholic and is now Lutheran. She went off on a list of typical reasons why she left the Church .... I wont go into them because you've heard them all yourself . They were all BS !! (that's French for.... Bovine Poop) as these "reasons"always are.:rolleyes:

    When she finished her tirade. :mad: The ONLY thing I said was "I totally disagree with EVERYTHING you just said!" I thought..."Holy Spirit I need back up!!"

    I asked for the right words to say. I expected the Holy Spirit to jump into my mouth a say what needed to be said!!!
    BUT NO ....instead ..there were CRICKETS"...Nada!! :unsure:
    I mumbled something about Jesus and shut up before I really embarrassed myself.

    As strong as my faith might be personally.... I was...lets say.. INEPT when it came to defending the Catholic faith. I missed an opportunity to "relieve my new neighbor of her misguided opinions."

    I am a little disappointed in the Holy Spirit, for sure, but more disappointed in my inability to defend Jesus and his Church.:(

    Maybe the Holy Spirit was just too busy doing heavens work and didn't have time to jump in in time to "get my back'?! time!! :)
  20. padraig

    padraig Powers

    I remember talking to a lovely Dominican Priest who was a Professor of Patrology (the study of the Church Fathers). He was sent one time to Pastor a parish in Washington which was mostly made up of African Americans. He got thrown his first Sunday because the mass never, ever started on time, just when folks got ready. The mass was very long with singing, very relaxed. Everyone brought food and then after mass they all chilled out eating and talking , laughing and singing and hanging out pretty well all day. :):)

    He said it took him a while to shift gear to get used to it all.:):) But I think he ended up enjoying it all enormously. He seemed very chilled out himself, maybe a little of it rubbed off on him.

    It makes me smile because it is totally the reverse of myself in Church. I try to get to Church very early and leave very late. I pretty well never talk to anyone, there is no one about when I come and no one about when I go.

    I even like to sit on my own as far away from others as I can.

    But it is a case of horses for courses, I would love to have seen that parish in Washington, so different.

    A couple of days ago at Church a gentleman in Church, a complete stranger left a little card in front of me. It was the child Jesus emerging from a Tabernacle making a hush sign with his finger to his lips and a list of reason why it is wicked to talk in Church. I have no idea why he picked me, but I flicked it back at him across the aisle and it nearly hit him on head. :D

    I have a shocking temper. We may yet have words.;)

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