Yesterday morning I was sick and was vert tempted not to go to 8am Mass. But I love early mass in a special way, the earlier the better and anyway I did not think of I waited for a later one I might be even worse and miss Mass altogether.. so I dragged myself in. One there I decided not to kneel but just sit through it and not to say the rosary after. Also I was very tempted to leave early after the eucharist. So there I was a kind of total passenger, not really contributed, just kind of drifting along with things, not contributing a kind of useless spectator. But what a surprise I got when I received the host! This wonderful and overwhelming sense of God's presence and love. As though He were hugging me close. I can't recall when I last had such an intense spiritual experience.at the Sacrament. Something that took me totally surprise as I had felt so useless and such a waste of space right through Mass. Why did this happen? Will I think Our Lady says it best in the Magnificat... '..he has scattered the proud in their conceit. He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, and has lifted up the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty.' Considering I was bottom of the heap gave Jesus a chance to raise me up. ...and seeing I was hungry it gave Him a chance to fill me.
I adore Thee devoutly, hidden deity, Who, under these appearances, is truly hidden. My whole heart submits itself to You...
Last night I kept waking up for long periods. So I kept trying to thing about God and the things of God to assist me in prayer. I always think very guilty about not praying enough to my my Guardian angel and my guardian angels for of these I know I have many., Anyway I took I notion and asked my Guardian Angel to let me see him. face to face with my own eyes. At once he replied that of course I could see him now, that I have always seen him. I saw at once that this was so. Angels are pure spirit. I have always seen him. I would say my big take back from seeing them is this. The eyes of them is that their eyes are constantly drawn to God. They always, always look at God.
I wish I could see mine but I have never asked. That is very special and God must love you so so much. You have a very special relationship with Him.
I came across a description my Saint Margaret Mary on the apparition of the Sacred Heart in which she describes Christ's Heart as looking like a furnace with flames coming out. The first thing anyone of us will do if and when we make heaven and meet God face to face is to exclaim in astonishment, 'I never knew!' (how much you loved me). It reminds me of what Our Lady said at Medugorje, 'If you knew how much I loved you I would die of joy!'
