Forum Etiquette

Discussion in 'Forum Maintenance' started by "Quis ut Deus", Jul 18, 2020.

  1. "Quis ut Deus"

    "Quis ut Deus" Powers Staff Member

    I have created a new thread to discuss forum etiquette and have quoted my response to the countdown thread...

    In a nut shell if my actions on banning a member do not sit well or if you feel my actions are wrong please let me know..

    I have no problem stepping aside from moderating member posts and can assume a role of technical support only..

    That said it would be prudent if more members would put themselves forward as a moderator to help carry the load...

    thanks John.
    Shae, Mary's child and AED like this.
  2. "Quis ut Deus"

    "Quis ut Deus" Powers Staff Member

    ***moved from countdown thread***

    You know Donna I think your request just hit a chord with I need the annoyance in my life of trying to sort out childish behaviour by adults on a public forum ??? I have enough children at home to keep an eye on....I have unbanned Earthtoangles and as of today I will be stepping down as a forum moderator...I will no longer contribute or get involved in the discussions on the forum and will assume a technical role only...

    God Bless John
    Shae, Mario, Julia and 1 other person like this.
  3. Christy1983

    Christy1983 Guest

    John, it is very difficult to be the "authority" in an emotional, contentious situation. I work in a public library, and find myself called on to enforce rules and settle disputes between patrons, which I hate to do. I get called names (and once physically threatened). I didn't expect that when I took the job! You, I am sure, did not volunteer to keep the forum running, just to become an enforcer of rules.

    You stated your boundaries. You were calm, and offered alternatives. You offered to set up a special thread for earthtoangels to discuss her grievances. You are doing that, right now, for others. You are sorry for the outcome. You are hurt by all the hurt feelings on all sides. I don't criticize your actions at all!

    If there are alternatives, this is a good place to discuss them. Thank you.

    [Edited to add] Before I posted, you came to a decision, John. I hope it brings peace!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 18, 2020
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  4. AED

    AED Powers

    I appreciate what you do. It is no easy task. Things have been getting heated for awhile now between members. I've watched it with grave concern because I could see the tone of the discourse become increasingly ugly. I think members of the forum have to understand that the moderators do their jobs as volunteers to help Padraig. That a huge squabble has to be dealt with for the sake of the whole forum. This is not a "take sides" issue. This is an issue of being sensitive to others and spiritually aware of the dangers of the spirit of divisiveness who is running rough shod over the world just now. I've seen prayer groups broken up over this in past years. And so often it comes down to resistance to authority. Whether from a prayer group leader or a priest or bishop or a moderator exerting the authority given to him to restore order or provide guidance. Kicking against the goad is very human. But very unfortunate too and as much as I have appreciated Eta's posts on Church and world events she does not like being contradicted. John (Quis)was doing his job and he warned her. Serious warnings. Apparently on several occasions. It is most unfortunate but blaming the moderator for stepping up to control something that was rapidly getting out of control is just wrong. There is an old maxim I heard once that fits here and all passionate posters might keep in mind including myself: "i would rather be in right relationship than be right"
    Many fine groups and marriages and friendships have been destroyed by the need to be right and to have the last word. I'm sad about people leaving the forum but John (Quis)is on solid ground in addressing this issue. I thank him for giving his time to a very thankless job. God bless everyone here.
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2020
  5. AED

    AED Powers

    Oh John I am so sorry to hear this. Doing the right thing these days comes at a terrible cost. I dont blame you one bit. Thank you so much for your dedication to the forum.
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  6. AED

    AED Powers

    Well said Christy. Well said.
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  7. John R

    John R New Member

    As someone brand new, I have no dog in the fight.

    ETA's posts were toxic. She was promoting a manifestly false mystic which opens folks up to demons and the worst vices. I am just here probably briefly and am grateful for all the discussions.

    Quis was just doing his job. With ETA back I expect a lot more.

    That said, it can be very difficult to be cordial on social media. It is not at all the same as being in person. It's easy to assume malice when there is none and it's much more difficult to carry an argument successfully. It's nothing like being in person.
    josephite, Katfalls, BrianK and 4 others like this.
  8. padraig

    padraig Powers

    Thank you John for all you do.:):)

    I'm afraid it's a case Moderating that whatever you do is never right with some. Thank you so much for all you've done and are doing.:):)
  9. padraig

    padraig Powers

    I remember years ago a wonderful lady from California emailed me asked my why I didn't just throw people off the forum right away as soon as they caused trouble, that it is my forum and I could do what I liked and just to ignore people who complained or throw them off as well.:):)

    Well it is Our Lady's Forum and she is a Mother and very kind and gentle. I don't know I find I always pray a lot before I throw someone off and very,very rarely do so. I think I have not banned more than 3 or 4 people all the years the forum has been running.

    It's hard to know sometimes. But I'll keep on praying and asking Our Lady to help, she is the best Moderator of all.

    Perhaps I do need to toughen up a lot. I'll pray about it. (It occurs to me that there have been several instances when I might have been kicked of myself:D:D)

    Anyway away camping again, God Bless!!

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  10. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    “I would rather be in right relationship than be right.”
    josephite, Jo M, Shae and 3 others like this.
  11. padraig

    padraig Powers

    If someone would like to volunteer to be a Moderator please PM me:D:D

    It's a thankless nasty task I know, rather like being an internet police person. But do it for Our Blessed Lady and I'm sure she make you rich in graces, it's her forum and she'll pay you back for the grief.:)

    You'll need a tough hide I admit.:D:D

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  12. padraig

    padraig Powers

  13. Julia

    Julia Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

    Go on AED, you would make a good moderator. Julia is a slow reader and would not be any good for a job like that.
    Shae, Beth B and Sam like this.
  14. AED

    AED Powers

    I am a tech ZERO. I cant even provide links to posts. The forum would never recover.
  15. Julia

    Julia Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

    I am sorry you have decided to stop your moderator role. Thank you for your dedication.

    I thought EtoA might get a time out and then allowed back after a cool off. We all have days when we get hot under the collar and it must be a headache for those who moderate for the forum. God bless you and your family, and reward you for your ongoing support in the technical area.
    Shae, Tanker and AED like this.
  16. Julia

    Julia Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

    Shae, Seagrace, AED and 1 other person like this.
  17. Frodo

    Frodo Archangels

    It’s not easy to take care of a bunch of unruly online family members - and I know I’ve been in the middle of it and caused you grief perhaps as much as anybody. It must be very draining. Thank you for all you do for us.

    With that being said, good people with a good head on their shoulders is a blessing to us in these days. Perhaps after a break you can resume your moderator role as well? Very grateful to you John either way.
    Jo M, Shae, Julia and 8 others like this.
  18. padraig

    padraig Powers

    I have to say that the behaviour of 99% folks on the forum is wonderful 99% of the time.:):):)
    Why is this?

    Because we love Our Blessed Lady.

    Compare this to many Secular Forums which are Perpetual Boxing Matches;)

    There really is mostly a huge fraternal charity and good manners, so thank you for that and your prayers.:)

    Katfalls, Shae, Beth B and 2 others like this.
  19. AidanK

    AidanK A great sinner

    Why would you stop posting John? You have a voice and a right to have it heard. The forum is richer because of each and every member. Confrontational people also have value they make us reconsider.However personal attacks on individuals must never be tolerated
    Jo M, Shae, Julia and 8 others like this.
  20. "Quis ut Deus"

    "Quis ut Deus" Powers Staff Member

    Thank you all for the kind replies alas its a pleasure to work for Mother.. Maybe I'm just tired and sore of being hit with my own olive branches (y)
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