The Spiritual Life seems tom e so much like walking up a mountain. Perhaps that's why we here so much mention of Mountains in Scriptures and Catholic Tradition like Mount Sinai or Mount Carmel When we climb a mountain we are bent over so far downwards , it is so steep we can only see the ground. But then there are points when we get to see the bigger picture and see the whole path which we take . We see this so well in the Life and especially the death of St Terese of Liseaux for instance. She could almost a Patron Saint of Atheists; she walked in such total total darkness. But very often looking at my life I can see areas of great healing. I used to be for instance a person of total hate. Now I hate no one. In fact I pray for those who hate me. I think to myself ..well at least that's gotta be a step forward. I used to be such a proud young person (goodness knows why) but the utter human failure of my life has taught me a little humility. I used to be a total unbeliever now I try to go to mass each day. I used to have such trouble getting on with people, now I can at least pass myself. So I count the steps upwards and onwards with the deepest sense of gratitude. At least if I have made no real progress up Mt Carmel at least there has been some healing towards making me , by grace, a more normal likeable human being and I cling to this. When you are totally, totally at the bottom of things any healing at all is met with the greatest joy and happiness. I may never be a saint but at least I know I not someone who drives people nuts around me. 'I am a Great Sinner and Christ is a Great Saviour'.