I deal with both sides of the voice above, daily!..... The voice of God and the voice of Satan. What does it mean when one hears both voices? Does it mean that I should embrace tradition and separate myself from my fellow Catholics that attend the same Novus ordo mass that I do? Or Does it mean that I should abandon tradition so I can understand the apparent periphery better? Or Does it mean that my childhood remembrance of the beauty and grace of the TLM, has no import to what I deal with today? Or Does it mean God will eradicate sufferings once I acknowledge Him only in either the Novous Ordo mass or the TLM Mass ? You see, God often calms, comforts and convicts me in His peace, yet at the same time I seem to be drawn to worry, obsess and feel condemned by my sins. I feel encouraged by His Great Love and Mercy yet discouraged at the same time by His scrutiny of my actions due to my ignorance of His ways. I am hopeful God will take into account my personal journey to Him and not harshly judge my ignorance when I was devoid of His grace. These are just my thoughts. These thoughts allow me to Love others who have been devoid of His graces. Let us pray for them. Amen
Amen Caroline. You have spoken the truth about this struggle and the competing voices. I endure this myself. When those condemning voices start I repeat this short prayer for as long as it takes. "Sacred Heart of Jesus i believe in Your love for me and in Your Mercy which is greater than all the sins I have committed." Then from scripture: He who calls upon the Name of the Lord will be saved" and "He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and save us from all unrighteousness" Or I just repeat the Holy Name over and over. "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus." A very holy nun who was savagely killed on the adoration altar here many years ago taught that to me. I believe she is a martyr of the Eucharist. The man who did it was schizophrenic--recently released from the mental ward. He heard "voices"....
Thank you Ann. Such beautiful prayers in times of struggle. About 3 weeks ago I went to confession and when driving home the Lord gave me an extraordinary grace. He showed me two sins that I had never confessed. My impatience and my deceptiveness. I went to confession the day before yesterday Friday the 24th May and was able to confess these two additional sins. I also spoke of struggling with feelings of worthlessness and wanting to hide from God and wanting to hide from the world; I remember saying.... I have pleaded with God to intervene for years in areas of my life yet God has not did so and I am bereft, therefore I must also confess my sin of presumption. Father is a very holy young Nigerian priest and this is what he said .....You are suffering from the dark night of the soul! He did not elaborate but instructed me and gave me my penance before absolution. I was comforted to know that what I have been struggling with is not completely sin based but also due to the dark night. In the book, 'Come and see' Mother Therese of Calcutta confides to her confessor (during her suffering of the dark night which went on for over 40 years)...." I feel I am deceiving everyone, because I no longer feel Jesus in my life; But I express the opposite, I smile no matter what, but this Father is a deception!" Her spiritual director was able to comfort her, he told Mother, God has plunged you into the walk of faith 'alone!' because God had withdrawn all else from You. I believe God does this on smaller levels with all of us. May St Mother Teresa of Calcutta pray for all of us. Amen.
What a wonderful priest placed before you to give you God's light on this matter! What you've written reminds me of my own dark years of struggling to make out the road ahead, not seeing anything and yet have to "hold it all together" for the sake of leading the children right. Yes, perhaps you're right that we might be given "lighter versions" of this dark night of souls.
Thanks for your honest reflection. It’s very helpful! these past few weeks I feel it’s been a wrestling match in my faith walk. Too much to put here what’s going on but I would say a type of oppression that is causing mental, physical and spiritual exhaustion. I’m plain tired of the battle. I know I need to rest in the Lord. It’s not my nature…. But this is where Lord is calling … trust. During a break from my walk today as I was listening to Bible in year podcast, I heard these words from Isaiah chapter 40 and was very consoled …. 40:28 Did you not know? Had you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, he created the remotest parts of the earth. He does not grow tired or weary, his understanding is beyond fathoming. 40:29 He gives strength to the weary, he strengthens the powerless. 40:30 Youths grow tired and weary, the young stumble and fall, 40:31 but those who hope in Yahweh will regain their strength, they will sprout wings like eagles, though they run they will not grow weary, though they walk they will never tire.
Two thoughts come to mind: the first about being ignorant of God's ways. Are we accountable in our ignorance? In this I would not be hard on yourself. Disappointed, yes; guilty, no. Let me me give you an example of a recent sin on my part. It was a Friday and Geralyn was not at home. What day it was slipped my mind as I retrieved some luncheon meat and began to eat it. Then the thought came to mind (perhaps from my angel), "Oops it's Friday, and you shouldn't be eating this." No sin had taken place, yet. But my response, "Oh well, there's not much left", and my then proceeding to finish what remained, was! Mea culpa! Your subsequent thought of praying for those "devoid of His graces" was a beautiful response of empathy for others! Thank you, and pray for me please.
Going through a horrible time at the moment. I feel i must be a bad person. I feel God hates me. Going through horrible experiences. I don't feel God's love at all
Jeremiah 15:18 Why has my pain been perpetual And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will You indeed be to me like a deceptive stream With water that is unreliable? I pray God reveals to you the reasons for your struggles. But know that even the prophets, who are in scripture, have felt as you do now.
We will pray for you in our rosary shortly. Count your blessings, look for what is good in your life..
