Padrepiofan, you will certainly be in my prayers! Do not despair and may I suggest you watch Fr. Blount. Lately with all the heaviness of sin in the world it’s so easy to get down, depressed which makes it easier to fall into sin. But every time I watch Fr. Blount I’m uplifted, he truly has a gift for speaking and healing. I’m attaching one of his inspiring talks, and there are quite a few available. Don’t give up, you are loved! God Bless!
I must admit I stole this advice from Mother St Teresa of Calcutta who gave this advice to people who were trying to return to the Catholic Faith.
I would start by telling Satan to get behind you in the name of Jesus! He is the one putting those negative thoughts in your head about it's too late etc because those thoughts are the start of losing hope and they can lead to despair. Then hand those negative thoughts to Jesus and ask Him to put them in His Wounds. Look at Him as much as possible, try practicing this for a short while at first if it's difficult: when thoughts turn to yourself, try turning your thoughts to Him for a short while. Maybe sitting in front of a crucifix can help to remember that no matter how hurt and lonely we may feel, He endured those same feelings and infinitely more for each of us. As for the addictions, we are where we are and He does not expect perfection from us but to come to Him as we are. If something has a hold on you for now, just be honest and tell him that you are weak and can't break the chains but you have faith that HE can and will do this for you. Put all trust in HIM not in your own strength. Try the serenity prayer, it's helped so many in AA. Autism is tough, really tough. I believe that it is one of the heaviest crosses out there because it's isolating and so few understand. But Christ gets it and only asks from anyone what they can give - never forget this. I saw this book written by an autistic priest called God Loves the Autistic Mind: Prayer Guide for those on the Spectrum and Those Who Love us. There are a few articles about the book too, like this one - maybe it's for you? The most wonderful thing about our faith is that when we are completely down, feeling worthless, like a big failure, we can just lay everything at Jesus' feet and ask Him to come and do what we cannot do ourselves. It's our weakness that can be His strength if we let Him. No one needs to be perfect, just to recognize that we can't do anything without His help and His Grace. Turn to Our Lady too, She will help you, have no doubt about that. Eveyone else has good advice, I'll add my prayers to theirs for you - don't give up.
Have been praying for you. We can all relate to periods of dryness and falling back into sin in our climb to be closer to God. Try to live each day and each minute by itself instead of fretting about the future or past. Make the decision FOR GOD each minute in whatever you do. Ask yourself if this thought or action will bring you closer to God. If it doesn't bring you closer to God don't do it in that minute. As you work on this you will strengthen your will and start to get back on track. Go to confession and trust God to forgive you in that moment no matter how hard it seems to trust in God. We all have to trust in someone other than ourselves or we would die of worry and fear! So trust in God, do what you can each minute to stay close to Him and please Him. And when your brain starts over thinking things just shut it down. Tell it NO and do the next thing at hand, even if it is just washing the dishes. Don't give up!
I am so sorry I forgot about prayer. I will pray tonight and offer up Masses during the week. A big loving hug of prayer to you and yours. Be good, keep God's Commandments. love the Lord, be attentive to the urgent instructions of your Good Angel and let us both walk Hand in Hand with our Mother Mary to the Golden Gates of Heaven. Numbers 6:24-26 “The Lord bless you and keep you; 25 The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; 26 The Lord a]">[a]lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”
Prayers for you Padrepiofan, may you be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full Armor of God, so that you can make your stand against the devil’s schemes. Please avoid putting yourself under any pressure, be on your guard concerning that voice that is obsessing you to redo your life, so that men may praise and respect you. St. Thomas Aquinas explained that "glory" denotes someone's excellence being known and approved by others. He explains that there is nothing wrong with others recognizing our good qualities and deeds. While Jesus Himself said, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven"(Mt. 5:16). I pray that God’s grace heals your past and shapes a bright future for you, may you be the light that shines a torch for many others with similar or worse experiences. It is better to receive a crown of life than a million praises of men.
So many blessed posts on this thread. Prayers for you, Padrepiofan. When you are feeling up to it, ask Jesus to lead you to a good parish, and ask the pastor what you can do to help. You will be embraced, and respected. I have a family member on the spectrum, I understand the challenges that you face. God bless you. +
As usual I'm just catching up here. I have a granddaughter who is autistic. I know any slights or perceived insults really cause her immense upset. I can't offer you any better advice than what people have said on this thread, but I would say retreat to nature at present. Listen to the birdsong, look at the flowers, just be present admiring God's handiwork. Find your peace. You too are a beautiful creation of God. He loves you beyond all telling. Those who bullied you have diminished their own light. When you feel able to ask Jesus for the grace to pray for them. As Pádraig said, tell Jesus every day that you love him. A miracle of healing will happen for you. You are deeply loved. I too will pray for you. God bless you. Mary
I woke at 3am this morning and prayed a Hail Mary for you as you came into my mind - at the same time I could see the head of an eagle -- it was the eagle of the USA Not sure if this means anything to you but there is a verse in the Scriptures Matthew 10 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid you are worth more than many sparrows -
