I'm using pseudonyms. Raul is my brother-in-law. He has two grown sons and five grandchildren. Resides in Arizona. Two full siblings: Armand (my husband) and Janie. Raul is the middle child. Janie informed me that Raul's been diagnosed with cancer. Oh no. Is asking for prayer (mine). This family has a strange dysfunction I've never understood (in 28-1/2 years of marriage). The overall family dynamic is EVERYTHING IS A SECRET. Shhhh!! Don't tell anyone else ANYTHING (or hardly anyone else)!! I know some folks are reserved and private, but this is pathological. It's koo-koo, and extends to cousins on the father's side. In 28-1/2 years of marriage I've been to one anniversary celebration, five funerals, one wedding, and two cookouts. That's it. When first married, both Janie and Raul would snap at basic questions like: "How are you?" or "How was your day?" The huffy response was "It's none of your business!" Janie has broken out of this somewhat, as I'm concerned. I told Armand, thinking Janie would tell him. Armand phoned her. Janie answers, but puts him on hold while muttering "Hold on. Hold on." Armand: "Are you there?" Janie: "Hold on. Hold on." Armand relates this to me; I don't eavesdrop. Silence. I go into the living room and ask Armand what's going on. He relates the terse exchange to me. Armand calls again. Inquires about Raul's cancer. A pause. Then Armand, angrily "Well OKAY, then, GOODBYE!" Janie was upset, demanding that Armand not tell anyone. Armand hung up on her. So I think of the Serenity Prayer (the wisdom to know the difference of things I can and cannot change). Janie's probably miffed that I told Armand about Raul's cancer. Anyway, prayers for Raul please. I'll risk the wrath of angry in-laws.
I really don’t know what to say other than place them in Our Lady ‘s arms on this important feast .I placed them in my prayers. I try to get to Adoration as often as I can but don’t know how long that will be available with new restrictions coming. I also go to the graveyard and as I was leaving I received a beautiful aroma. It was beautiful.
Please God relations between your families will be less tense with the help of God. Try the Chaplet of Unity to Jesus King of all Nations. Hopefully to put another perspective on how individuals react when the big C is diagnosed in a family member. I can share that in the early stages people close to me were secretive about it. The news spreads on the grapevine, but the subject is not brought up around the individual until they mention it themselves. Right now my own husband has been told by a consultant he probably has lung cancer. They won't be able to make a certain diagnosis until a biopsy is done on the next few weeks. I have simply told family members who ask how my husband is that he has recently had a test done on his lung capacity, which is the truth, without making a big C statement. The reason for this is not to be secretive, but to give my husband time to digest what is possibly going on and get used to his new normal. The same thing happened with my oldest brother when he was first found to have cancer. We knew on the grapevine but never mentioned it to him in person until he began to talk about it. And that took some months. When my brother told me he was dying with cancer I replied, no you are not dying with cancer, you are living with cancer. And I believe that will be my way of facing my own husbands diagnosis. Praised be Jesus and Mary. Try to be patient with your inlaws. These things can be difficult to come to terms with.
I wonder if this secrecy is some kind of cultural thing , arising from their origin country, no matter how far back? Anyway prayers for healing for all. Cancer is such a scourge.
