Forgiveness, deeper in One day a young man talked about his hatred, his desire for revenge against his parents, who were cruel, abusive, and ignored him. How do I deal with this, it is a torture he asked me. So as we talked I shared my own struggles, how over many years I still deal with emotional eruptions, coming deep within my soul, seeking to be seen and not to be pushed under the waves. When I sit in my room and am praying, or doing Lectio, or just reading for relaxation, is when these inner geysers show themselves, in living color, vivid, and yes painful. Yet Over the years I have learned perspective is important, they are in reality nothing to worry about but need to be seen for what they are. They are the sacrifice we put into the Heart of Christ, a call to humility, to self-knowledge, and yes compassion for our brothers and sisters the world over dealing with this very all too human issue. I place them before God, asking me to forgive, again, all those who have wounded me, especially those I have forgotten, yet still festering from the deeply buried event. So I pray for my unknown enemies, asking God to bless them, Just that, no more, and placing all into the love of God, which over the years has brought me healing, yet the thorn is still there doing its work, drawing me deeper into healing at the pace that I can go, no faster nor slower than needed. In this I trust, all of my struggles lead to God, when I place them into his loving, golden, flaming, Heart.—Br.MD
Your words remind me that forgiveness is a decision and subsequent action on my part initially at least to get the ball rolling. I struggle at times but as you said I too trust that these lead us to God when I do my part and I think even when I don't they push me in the right direction. For me they seem to erupt out of nowhere when I am alone but tired or hungry and working or trying to finish some work I have started. Then the mental whispers begin of old wounds but I am so thankful that I can discern them much easier these days.
Great post, Mark! Good comments , Don. This is a common problem in the spiritual life. It truly is a process. We can pray for all those who have hurt us. But it is important to know that we have hurt others and we need to confess that. I would probably be a dead street thug right now if God had not stepped in and stopped me from fighting! And I’m female! I’m always calling on the Blessed Mother and St Michael now.
I'm having a bit of difficulty with forgiveness as concerns an in-law. Not because an in-law, but rather the close proximity, and having beheld character & integrity "go south" in the past 10 years. In-law formerly quiet, prayerful, helpful, honest, sincere. Now is a jerk, frankly. And for a person who's twice toured Israel, it's baffling. What prior affection I had is nearly gone (and I'm a very affectionate person), so I know I've got the spirit of unforgiveness. Will continue praying for resolution.
I get it because I too have an in law in very close proximity who has been a repeated stumbling block for me over the years and who has hurt everyone in our extended family repeatedly especially my loving wife. All we can do is is to go the extra mile for them and smother them in love and kindness when we have the opportunity. We are not door mats however. A lot of prayers have been said for this person and for help to have humility and love for them especially in the thick of things. Actually I have learned a great deal about myself through my trials with them.
We meet the cross everywhere, don't we? We must forgive others if we pray to be forgiven. It's in the Our Father. Sometimes the pain from the wound comes back, seemingly out of nowhere, and we have to start anew.
It can be very hard. Just saying. It's a battle. Prayers. The surging back is horrible. It truly feels like one is going mad. I think the only helpful thing I have learned about forgiveness is that it can be a journey, and a choice, not a feeling. It's not an Oprah moment, and then you're free. It's a battle.
Good description! It truly is a journey. The feelings of hurt from the past can be so ugly, though, that I have learned not to dwell on them when they return. Slam the door. Turn to Our Lady. You were right when you called it a choice.
