If we understood why maybe it would remove the suffering. But God also sends time of Jubilee/ Times of great Joy and happiness. In Scripture the Jubilee Year was the year when all slaves were set free and all debts rescinded. Those who sowed in tears when sing when they reap/ https://www.vatican.va/jubilee_2000/magazine/documents/ju_mag_01051997_p-78_en.html Jubilee The word "jubilee" is derived from the Hebrew word jobel, which means "ram's horn"; since it was precisely that horn which was used as a trumpet, whose sound indicated to everybody the beginning of the jubilee year. The book of Leviticus, in the code of holiness, is the source which tells us of the significance of the jubilee year, a year of liberation "par excellence," which is at the end of seven weeks of years, the fiftieth year. «And you shall count seven weeks of years, seven times seven years, so that the time of the seven weeks of years shall be to you forty-nine years. Then you shall send abroad the loud trumpet on the tenth day of the seventh month; on the day of atonement you shall send abroad the loud trumpet throughout all your land. And you shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants; it shall be a jubilee for you, when each of you shall return to his property and each of you shall return to his family» (Leviticus 25, 8-10). In the same Leviticus there are texts and very precious parallel models for understanding the jubilee year's intention and design. Meanwhile it is important to be aware that in the Near East, in the ancient cultures, the cycle of the moon was chosen as the criterion for marking time: the week (seven days) takes on, even before the Judaic legislation, a strikingly religious character. The Lord marks the times of work and of rest. Already the first chapter of the first book, Genesis, interprets the creative activity of God with the structure of seven days, even with lucid consciousness of the transcendenceof God who "speaks", and his speech is creative, it is "benediction". The feasts of the Hebrew calendar are also marked by seven days; such is the duration both of the feast of the unleavened (bread) and of the feast of the tabernacles. In particular, Pentecost (fiftieth day), or the feast of the weeks, is celebrated seven weeks after the Saturday of Passover. The sources of these laws are found in chapter 23 of the book of Leviticus, and even earlier in chapter 34 in Exodus and chapter 16 of the fifth book of the Bible, Deuteronomy. Liberation One ascertains with joy and with appreciation how faith in God also carries Israel's culture, living in it a primacy in time, in work, in relationships. Some realities, which involve persons, tools and means to live, are not able to be subjected to unchecked egoism and the insatiable careerism of some people. The believer may not tolerate the forms and the duration of a life of slavery, even as it was practiced by other peoples. Just so it is not tolerable that, because of debt or poverty, a family or a father be deprived of his land forever, since the land comes from God and is a fruitful gift for man. From this, the detailed divine laws which idealistically intervene to promote justice and hope. The utopia consists precisely in the distance between one jubilee and another, and the difficulty of putting it into practice, but the orientation is clear: it questions, challenges, presses to accept the gift and to promote a culture of liberation. «For it is a jubilee; it shall be holy to you; you shall eat what it yields out of the field. In this year of jubilee each of you shall return to his property. And if you sell to your neighbor or buy from your neighbor, you shall not wrong one another» (Leviticus, 25, 12-14). And regarding persons. «And if your brother becomes poor beside you, and sells himself to you, you shall not make him serve as a slave: he shall be with you as a hired servant and as a sojourner. He shall serve with you until the year of the jubilee; then he shall go out from you, he and his children with him, and go back to his own family, and return to the possession of his fathers. For they are my servants, whom I brought forth out of the land of Egypt; they shall not be sold as slaves. You shall not rule over him with harshness, but shall fear your God» (Leviticus, 25, 39-43 Consolation There is a fundamental expression and proposal of experiences in the jubilee year: rest. A rest carrying gift and relationship with God: everything is his gift and we are able to refer everything to him. The culture of the "Saturday" changes the quality of life; it leads one back to one's own roots, to the reasons for one's own existence; and can open to the happiness possible in history. «A jubilee shall that fiftieth year be to you; in it you shall neither sow, not reap what grows of itself, nor gather the grapes from the undressed vines. For it is a jubilee; it shall be holy to you; you shall eat what it yields out of the field» (Leviticus 25, 11-12). This consolation will resound in an unforeseeable and complete way in the relationship with Jesus of Nazareth, the Lord, thanks to whom it is possible to live rest and restoration; to have the experience of consolation in the face of every desolation. «Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light»(Matthew 11, 28-30). The letter to the Hebrews, taking departure from Psalm 95, verse 11«he swore in his anger that they should not enter his rest» and referring to the forty years of pilgrimage of the ancient people of Israel in the exodus, makes one meditate in a stupendous way on Christian rest. «Since therefore it remains for some to enter it, and those who formerly received the good news failed to enter because of disobedience, again he sets a certain day, 'Today,' saying through David so long afterward, in the words already quoted, 'Today, when you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.' For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not speak later of another day. So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God; for whoever enters God's rest also ceases from his labors as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, that no one fall by the same sort of disobedience» (Hebrews 4, 6-11).
I feel like I am being scourged at times but trying to keep going. Two separate Priests told me before upon talking to them to meditate on Our Lord's passion, so trying to do that.
"Oh, how I love those souls that have complete trust in Me. I will do everything for them!" Jesus to Saint Faustina (294).
I have another: Mary's Mantle Consecration: 7th Star - Endurance A prayer in depression and loneliness. . . Lord, I feel so sad, and I miss times long gone. The dark night has descended and obscured Your light. My insides are twisted into thorny vines. Confusion is my daily bread. I search for a true friend and reach for dreams, while my spirit languishes in forced conversation and banal distractions. I am alone. My mightiest of efforts lead nowhere, and my hands reach out to touch failure. My family is a home of strangers, our unity broken into factions of silence and scorn. Where is your Good News? Is there none for me? When I cling to You, I cannot feel You. When I talk with You, I cannot hear You. You say You are there, but You are as elusive as a sunrise at midnight or a bonfire in a frozen tundra. Do not take away Your hand from me, Father. Do not close Your ears to my silent screams at night. How can You be my light when I cannot see You? How can You be my rock when I cannot feel You under my feet? The ground below is trembling and cracking, and the sky above is closing off the stars. Where did You go? The darkness, it scares me, and I need You. Give me at least one sign, one scant hint, that You care, that You exist. You once felt so close as to fill my lungs with Your breath, but now I feel dropped, like a ball with no air. Yet even in this journey of frightening sadness and meaningless hours, I will take one step forward, and tomorrow another. I will endure because my desolation is not truth and the shadows speak lies. Beyond my shattered mind is a beautiful life and a beautiful me that I cannot see. But You do, my Lord. You do.
Just one more then - my favourite prayer from the little 'Prayers of an Irish Mother' booklet. Meant for Mothers but equally powerful for the guys Lean Hard Child of My Love, lean hard, And let me feel the pressure of thy care. I know thy burden child; I shaped it, Poised it in Mine own Hand; made no proportion Between it's weight and Thine unaided strength. For even as I laid it on I said: "I shall be near, and even as she leans on Me, This burden shall be Mine, not hers; So shall I keep My child within the circling arms, Of My own love!" Here lay it down, nor fear To impose it on a shoulder that upholds The Government of worlds. Yet closer come---- Thou art not near enough, I would embrace thy care, So I might feel My child reposing on My Heart. Thou lovest Me? I know it. Doubt not then, But loving Me, lean hard.
I remember you every day in prayer on my rosaries Peter. Also I keep other prayer requests up in prayer. It is such a joy praying for others. https://capuchinswest.org/post-news/padre-pios-letter-to-those-suffering/ Herminia Gargani, a spiritual daughter of Padre Pio suffered various disillusions in her life. Briefly, she was a successful teacher and at a certain moment wanted to marry a willing, rich and respected young man, but the parents of the young man would not accept the marriage proposal. After a time, the young man killed himself by poisoning. Herminia suffered greatly from this and decided never to marry. She decided rather to enter a religious congregation secretly without the consent of her parents. Upon learning of her action her parents so opposed her decision that they threatened to remove her from the convent by force. She sought the advice of Padre Pio. Given this situation, Padre Pio advised her that it would be better for her to return to her family peacefully and not risk the threatened violence. This was the dire situation of Herminia when Padre Pio consoled her in his letter to her dated December 6, 1916. Padre Pio comments: With repeated blows of the sharpened chisel and diligent smoothing, the divine Artist wants to prepare the stones with which to construct the eternal Edifice. Thus sings the Church in the hymn for the dedication of churches and this is how it truly is. Besides the long and varying trial you suffer because of your parents, concerning your state in life, the Lord in his infinite mercy adds that of fear and spiritual trembling, with a hint of desolation. Therefore, let him be thanked for treating you as a soul chosen to follow Jesus closely up the hill of Calvary. And I behold with interior joy and emotion this behavior of grace within you, oh most beloved daughter of my heart. If I did not see you so dejected, I would be less happy, because the Lord would be bestowing you with fewer jewels. Therefore, I who in holy charity greatly desire your good, rejoice more and more to see you in that state. The reflection continues: Padre Pio counsels her through the eyes of faith. He sees how God uses those “repeated blows of the sharpened chisel” to form his likeness in her. This likeness of Christ is formed in Herminia by her fidelity to God in every circumstance. But this steadfastness in faith, although always conceded as a grace, has reference to a fundamental axis of our existence: that we were conceived in the love of the Father; that we exist due to his continual love for us, and that we are led by his loving us to our final resting place once again in his holy and loving heart. All this happens according to the extent we allow the action of the Holy Spirit mediated by the humanity of Christ to transform us. This relationship of love is expressed in fidelity to Jesus and is a constant reference that orients us to our full potential which Jesus validated by his own faithfulness to his image in us in each instance of our life. In this way he redeemed us through his fidelity to the Father and his fidelity to us, patiently confident in the realization of our full potential as sons and daughters of God. In difficult moments the process of healing requires us to be in contact with the pain. This pain averts us to an imbalance, to a separation from our wholeness. In so far as we are responsible for this separation, we would be morally responsible for this degree of infidelity. Nevertheless, in each instance of suffering we want to unite ourselves to Jesus who suffered for our infidelity by remaining faithful in our name. With our sincere and firm intention to be faithful we will receive God’s mercy which in the end heals and saves us. This sincere and determined effort leads to an abandonment of our egocentric attitude and opens us to a loving and attentive docility before the mystery of God. This attitude permits us to be progressively transformed by grace consciously and freely received. We experience the effects of this transformation in the joy of our soul: hope toward the future, gratitude for the mercy of God in the past and peace in the present consequent on being in harmony with God’s will. All of this gives us confidence that we are not abandoned by God in any situation. Our identity as sons and daughters of God gives us a stable reference around which to give meaning to those “repeated blows of the sharpened chisel”. Like Herminia, our docility before God in the trial assures us of the victory. Our way forward is fidelity to Jesus who leads us to the Father. Let us be attentive and determined, therefore, to walk this way of faithfulness which progressively unites us to one another in Christ through the same love and faith by the one Spirit of God. Your brother in Christ Jesus,
I'm very tired from all this suffering but trying to trust and keep going. I'm weary at times. But I have medjugorje to look forward to again soon. God can turn things around very quickly. Just to trust in Him.
