Sayings of the Romanian Elders Read in the Substack app Open app Elder Sofian and Psalm 50 He did not stop saying the Psalm for even a moment, but he would resume it at once, before even taking a breath: it was in fact his true nourishment… Grig Gheorghiu Jul 02, 2023 Wednesday, 11 August 1999: the day is eclipsed by the sun. In the morning I receive a phone call. I am told that Father [Sofian] suffered a stroke during the night, that he no longer recognizes anyone, that he does not respond to questions, does not eat, does not drink, does not know anything, but continuously says Psalm 50. 12 hours have passed since he has been in this state. After the doctor left, Father sat on the edge of the bed again, as he was sitting before, and again said Psalm 50. He was saying it without stopping, softly, but with determination. He would skip some lines, others he would repeat many times. Most frequently he returned to: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” He repeated this many times in a row and after, still with closed eyes, with his mind as if fully immersed within himself: “Do not cast me away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.” The prayer sounded so coherent! Father’s face was so peaceful and clear and not even his eyes, seemingly more tightly closed, did not betray the “eclipse”—as he later called it, a “personal eclipse”—which he was experiencing. It was in fact an unceasing prayer which he seemed to hold onto with all of his being, with all of his power. The eye closed to the outside [world] awoke within him a contemplation, which the prayer worked on its own. The nurses said that he would not receive food. I insisted that they feed him because he had diabetes and things could become complicated. Between two verses of the Psalm, Father accepted a teaspoon of soup, after honey and orange juice. He did not stop saying the Psalm for even a moment, but he would resume it at once, before even taking a breath: it was in fact his true nourishment, and between these large drops of the Psalm he would swallow a teaspoon of tea with honey or juice. After a short time he went to sleep, then he awoke without recognizing anyone. His face was clear, bright, and joyful. After a few hours he was taken to his cell, to his own bed, to the light of the candle which he always kept lit. That night he continued to say, more weakly or with more force, but all the time, absolutely all the time, without stopping, Psalm 50. There was a resolute will in [his saying it], a will which did not let itself be defeated. It seemed to me that the antennas of his soul (that “something” of his soul) almost knew that by saying it continuously, in this Psalm lay all of his salvation. I also began to say it, out loud, quietly. Father wanted, so I too wanted, to be heard. The hushed cry of Father had the force of insistence. Although appearing absent from all his surroundings, Father was, while uttering the Psalm, very present; the words were said sometimes clearly, sometimes stumbling, but with zeal, with faith, with conviction. The belief in the power of this Psalm was transmitted to me as well. That night I received the gift of Psalm 50 with its saving power and I believe that it helped and saved Father Sofian in this impasse. The second day, on August 12, Father sat on the edge of his bed. He was like a new man—reborn. He looked around, he spoke, he recognized everyone. Afterwards, I asked him why Psalm 50. He responded that it is the Psalm most implicated in the services of the Orthodox Church: we find it in the Morning Prayers, in Vespers, and in other moments of the services, and in the Liturgy at the Cherubic Hymn when the priest says in his heart: “Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.” After only a few months, I met Father Sofian in Germany, at Bad Rappenau, where he was recommended for recovery treatment. There, on the second day after I arrived, Father had the strength to do a blessing with holy water. It was October 10, 1999, Sunday afternoon. I lit a candle. At this service Father commemorated those close to him in Romania and Germany. He prayed for the Romanian and German people. The candle burned all night without extinguishing, it burned in the morning until 1 pm, when we had to move to another location. We were leaving and I could not bear to blow out the candle which had been burning continuously for 20 hours. I took it like that in my hand, in the car. I held it in the wind, I carried it without a worry everywhere, thinking that it would blow out. But it did not extinguish. It burned for 70 hours without interruption. It surprised me, it made me happy and this uncommon thing moved me. Father, however, was undisturbed, remaining himself as always. by Mariana Macri from Părintele Sofian (București: Editura Bizantina, 2011). https://romelders.substack.com/p/elder-sofian-and-psalm-50
After 45 years away from the Faith I came back limping. I had the torturous journey of Confessions, including 2 maybe 3 General Confessions. Now I seem to have lost grace again because I rarely go to Confession and I dislike it intensely because I am embarassed that the same sins come up. But in general I forgot all about my past sins. The problem for me now is that I can't remember if I confessed everything and if I did it properly. Now I am distressed thinking - will I have to Confess everything again just to be doubly sure? What if I am on my death bed and am too embarassed to confess something that comes up. Talk about pressure!
You have to look for information about the miracle that happens at the Holy Sepulcher every year. The candles of the Holy Sepulcher primarily refer to the Holy Fire, a miracle that occurs annually at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem on Holy Saturday, when the Orthodox Patriarch of Jerusalem receives a sacred flame from the tomb of Jesus. Thousands of pilgrims flock to light their candles from this flame, which symbolizes the light of the Resurrection and spreads throughout the world.
Invite me; Psalm 50 is precisely the greatest help. As for confession, think about the most painful sins, the ones you’re most ashamed of, and identify a common thread among them. Then go to church soon. Take some time to remember them before God. Many times those sins are sexual (it happened to me). I treated people without regard for their dignity. I used them, and they were children of God. That’s the devil living inside me. So the confession goes something like this: I accuse myself of having committed these sins on several occasions (examples), and in them my pride, lust, and lack of charity toward my neighbor made them doubly mortal. I confess this before God and repent. That is the exorcism that casts out demons. From there, Psalm 50.
I'm afraid that the sins I committed are too bad to be forgiven. But I keep asking for mercy anyway. I seem to be going through horrible mental stuff and darkness too. Perhaps it is the dark night of the soul, I'm not sure. I keep praying to Mary. I hope to get back to medjugorje again next year please God.
Yes, it’s important because this post is indexed by Google and can be found by many people. A sinner who turns away from the Church is pursued by that demon of lust or by another that tempts him to laziness, consumerism, anger, gluttony, etc. When someone falls into those sins with regularity, all the demons answer the call. If that continues over time, two things happen: the very demons of sin begin to humiliate you, and you feel dirty. That shames you and prevents you from confessing because they make you believe you have no hope of salvation. You never have time to confess. There’s no time to go to Mass, and every chance they get, they humiliate you. They seek your despair and your abandonment. You don’t believe you’re worthy of forgiveness, and you can’t give up sin. What they want is your death as soon as possible. It seems like everything is lost, but it isn’t. You are not sin. Sin is a demon. You are a beloved child of God. You’re like an empty bottle with a cork stopper floating in the sea. You’ve been adrift for years, but one day the cork begins to crumble and an ocean seeks to enter you. The ocean is patient and constantly waits for the opportunity to fill your inner void. One day that cork will give way. It could be today if you wish to enter into the fullness of God’s merciful Love right now. Maybe you’re not ready yet. Maybe you think nothing will change. You’re ashamed because you think your case is unique… but it’s not. For a priest, that confession is a miracle from God, and they won’t reproach anything; quite the opposite. The demons know perfectly well who they should go after. Have the courage to enter a church and ask the Lord for help to confess. Without confession, there is no change. Confession is what frees you from those monsters.
The dark nite of the soul is mostly experienced by cloistered nuns. It is a very great test of holiness. It consists in the absence of God’s presence. God is always present, but they don’t perceive it that way and must continue their contemplative life. It has nothing to do with unconfessed sins. First, you need to tell us more things here. Write about your life or something that interests you. Don't always send the same message, because it's pointless.
Thanks mariaba. I often get a reprieve during the day and often have positive experiences so I must trust and keep persevering through the darkness and trials.
A few years ago I went to confession to a holy priest and he said "God has a special love for you because of what you have been through ". He told me this and said this it came to him during the confession. He also told me to meditate on Jesus' passion. Just thought that I might share that as it was helpful.
one day you will look back in wonder & thank God for his purifying love. What you have endured is horrendous from a human perspective but it is for the purification of your soul. Keep fighting the good fight its ultimately worth it.
I daresay that Sanctus has been to Medjugorje more frequently than anyone else on MOG than perhaps maryrose.
More prayers today! If it is any comfort to you Peter I really admire the way you ask for prayers. It shows huge Faith and promises a great outcome to all this at the end.
