I don't know if it was mentioned but St Teresa of Avila talked about silent prayer. When you can't pray with words, you can just gaze upon Jesus. Prayers for you
I was walking through the city centre today Peter when I thought of you and prayed for you. City centres are full of people but it always strikes me that they are the loneliest , coldest places in the World. The poor people sleeping in shop doorways, the anonymous rushing people, all that buying and selling. The very opposite of a quiet Church or a walk in the woods. My thoughts then trayelled to my own Dark Night which I suppose lasted maybe 35 years and the things that helped me through it. My Spiritual Director was a gem. I know him since I was 15 and he understood everything. Just having someone to listen is a huge, huge help. A real light in the darkness. Another thing was maintaining the Faith. Keep going to Mass everyday, continuing to pray even though it all was done in intense darkness. Clinging on not letting go. A really big help was reading, especially on prayer and the Mystical / Spiritual Life and accounts from saints who had gone through the Night ; for instance the Spiritual Letters of Padre which comes in three volumes. I must have read a hundred or more books on Spiritual Mystical Theology to gain insight. I also read some Psychology and did a Degree in it in College to understand if I might have had some kind of Pathological illness like Depression (I did not). Also Diplomas in Counselling. The strangest thing about it all was that I believe I was never closer to Christ than I was back then. Why? Well because I needed His help so much I clung on to Him like crazy. The night does not end, it is simply that the night becomes luminescent the moon becomes our sun ,so to speak. We become like little owls that see in the Dark. In Scripture I found three things very helpful . The Book of Job. The writings of St Paul. The Song of Songs. Of course Devotion to Our Lady who is Star of the Sea is huge.
“We have felt that we came to know God by means of these thoughts and images, but in reality it is impossible for the infinite God to be captured by our finite thoughts, images, and feelings. Now, when everything suddenly becomes dark, when our ordinary ways of knowing are blinded, it is because the light of God has suddenly been turned on” ― Thomas H. Green, When the Well Runs Dry: Prayer Beyond the Beginnings 2 likes Like “Like a young couple courting, our love had to be nurtured and strengthened by frequent presence before we could begin to discover that love is deeper than presence, and can be” ― Thomas H. Green, When the Well Runs Dry: Prayer Beyond the Beginnings 2 likes Like “Rather, the reason for our loving surrender to God is that we desire to be able to love as we are loved,” ― Thomas H. Green, When the Well Runs Dry: Prayer Beyond the Beginnings 1 likes Like “This is why I urge you to dismiss every clever or subtle thought, no matter how holy or valuable. Cover it over with a thick cloud of forgetting because in this life only love can touch God as he is in himself, never knowledge. As long as we live in these mortal bodies the keenness of our intellect remains dulled by material limitations whenever it deals with” ― Thomas H. Green, When the Well Runs Dry: Prayer Beyond the Beginnings 1 li
Here is a great homily, Peter, on the Presentation in the Temple for this weekend. May you find encouragement in this friar's insights.
Wow, Padraig; I was introduced to that work of Fr. Thomas Green back in 1979! Great insights into helping those in the midst of a spiritual desert. At that time, I was helping out at a retreat center while considering the priesthood. The staff was split between Charismatics and Contemplatives. It was an eye-opening experience and one of the contemplatives gave me When the Well Runs Dry to read. One of the first fundamental truths I learned was: a cheerful persona does not indicate a person's progress in the spiritual life; virtue and humility are true barometers. O Mary most humble, pray for us!
The older I get the wiser I think the Church is in judging holiness by the practice of heroic virtues.. Virtues are where love takes wing, were love is moved to action. So from the outside looking in it is the finest way. A young priest said a wise thing about this, he said to judge how we are doing is to ask ourselves if we are doing all that the Church asks us to do? Sound advise. Another young priest told me that a good way to judge is if we are growing in love for scripture. I think I would add to that if we are growing in hunger for the Eucharist? St Teresa of Avila places forward changes in our prayer life to judge. This is fine until you get into the Great Dark. I always wake up at night now, often for a few hours around about 3 am. I lay awake last night clutching my trusty brass crucifix and earnestly thinking of Holy things to think and pray about. Last night it was about Capernaum because of a utube video I had just watched. I was maybe feeling a bit sorry for myself for being so sleepless when Our Lord reminded me lying awake at night is very, very common and should be welcomed as it is an excellent place for praying. To know that we are not alone in Darkness is a great source of comfort..and of course we are never,ever alone.
Awesome reflection, I have used insomnia lately for this exact reason. I'm thinking many others are also experiencing this very prayerful time in the quiet of night as well...
Well it is true older people do not, as a rule sleep well. But I am sure this no accident. God needs older people to pray. I recall, when I was young, sleeping in until mid day on occasions. What a joy! I do notice though at night time the devil is more easily spotted, perhaps because there are no distractions.
I see insomnia as a form of meditation, a small spiritual retreat where we distance ourselves from technological distractions and daily obligations. It’s as if, in that moment, we turn inward because there is almost nothing to observe externally. It’s a time ripe for contemplating the whirlwind of thoughts that arise during the long hours of the night and transforming them into an exercise of reflection, contrition, self-examination, and prayer.
Going through a very difficult time at the moment. I am trying hard to hold on. I'm being hit spiritually with a lot of stuff. It feels like all is lost. I keep telling God that I am sorry. It can be overwhelming at times. This is the most difficult thing I have ever been through
Try to remember, and more importantly, to believe, "A bruised reed He will not break". Prayers for your perseverance through this ~
A heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn - from todays Responsorial Psalm. Lent is a trying time but beg for perseverance and know we are keeping you wrapped in prayer.
I am sorry you are going through this. I do know that God loves you very much at this moment. He does not abandon you. Be at peace.
