I believe that many people only find the right time for conversion and learning when they are on their deathbeds. A common occurrence in hospital rooms is that some patients near death report visits from deceased family members. I believe this is a way for God to quickly instill in fragile human hearts the theology of eternal life, which brings hope, joy, salvation, and trust in God, even paving the way for sincere contrition. We live in a secular and rationalist world that often questions the supernatural aspects of these experiences; however, this is where the mystery of faith manifests—the eternal choice between pure faith that saves and limited human rationalism. Many people embrace these gifts from God with all their love at the moment of death because they feel they have little time and no human hope. In this way, thoughts of faith become not a fleeting cloud overshadowed by rationalism, but rather the first step toward accepting eternal life.
Yes, although are at one time a great source of joy but also, I think, a source of sadness too. As Jesus points out in the Parable of the Talents, life is a great, great gift. We are given it to grow in holiness into the likeness of Christ. If we leave things to the last moment we not giving ourselves the time to grow and flourish as we should. This is deeply, deeply sad. Matthew 25:14-30 The Parable of the Talents 14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servantsa]">[a] and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents,b]">[b] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.c]">[c] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ There is one thing I have noticed the last few years about certain people I have known and who have died in recent years a phenomena that occurs towards the end of the life. I think of this as a freezing up of evil in their souls. Have you ever opened up a fridge and looked at the ice cube tray and noticed that it is half frozen? I think people who remain far away from God and the Sacraments for many years in the years before their death can become like those little ice cubes and their souls begin to freeze over. They are shadowed by what they are to become in hell. Their souls freeze over into the forms they are to become when they enter hell. A foreshadowing. It is as thought the lights in the buildings of their souls had all winked out and now all is solid ice and darkness. We can sense this so well when we try to pray for them. When we try to point the Holy Spirit in the direction of their poor souls in prayer, God, as it were recoils in horror. Actions have consequences and as we come towards the end of our lives what we are to become for all Eternity grows more and more apparent even in this Mortal life. I think of this as the Great Freezing.
The thing is with heaven or hell or even Purgatory I get the sad feeling that most Catholics including clergy do not really believe in them. The best they can do is believe in heaven..but anything else no...and because they do not fear heaven or hell they are not afraid of sin. At a pinch they may indeed believe in heaven, for what's not to like? IN fact as Pope St John Paul 2 once said we have lost our sense even of sin itself. As Scripture informs us , the Fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom. Proverbs 9:10-12 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.
This is a terrifying observation but a good description. If this does occur with those who have passively or actively rejected God then I think it must be because they gave a final "no" somewhere along the line and opportunities of grace for conversion ceased. What an appalling thing to realize. I keep thinking of Malachi Martin's words about bishops and priests who promote ideas completely antithetical to the true Fairh. He says they have lost their faith but don't realize it. They just think the rest of us who cling to our faith are medieval and gullible. And then he says " And Jesus doesn't always call them back. He may give them a glance in passing but He let's them go their way." I beg every day to be safeguarded from this. And I beg God to free my loved ones from unbelief. It is constantly in my heart and on my lips. " Precious Blood of Jesus save them and me and the whole world."
The Polish Seer, Father Adam Skwarczynski predicts that after the Great Sign and Illumination of Conscience that the World will be divided into three kinds of people:
It's heard in homilies time and time again, that we're working for "eternal life". Well, we don't have to work for eternal life at all. Our souls are immortal, after all. The work is to get to Heaven!! And that's no easy thing. No "activity" we participate in will get us there, it's only by God's grace. The two theives on either side of the Cross prove this to be so. The second a soul realizes this the evil one launches full on attacks to drive that realization away, whether it's constant troubles or riches or an admiring public, anything to distract from what must be done to obtain that grace by living in God's Will for us. I'm terrified of what's to come. But thinking about the great Saints who lived thru such times is a comfort. St. Jose Sanchez del Rio, St. Dymphna are two of my favorites.....St. Dymphna epitomizes the saying "under the shelter of each other, people survive" ~
Well I finally finished this wonderful book and I 'm sure I'll return to read it again and again. The last two chapters talk about the Trinitarian nature of prayer and finally the last stage of prayer which we Catholics call Spiritual Marriage and in the East they call, 'Divinisation'. I used to get so frustrated in reading about the stages of prayer that when folks got to the end one things dried up and no one seemed to write too much about it , not even the Great St Teresa of Avila. The reason why I think they fall is silent is as St Peter wrote, 2 Peter 1:19-21 And you will continue to do well if you stay focused on it. For this prophetic message is like a piercing light shining in a gloomy place until the dawning of a new day, when the Morning Star rises in your hearts. At this stage the morning star has indeed risen on the soul and so why explain to people what is already understood? But I'd like to throw in my own two cents worth in understanding Spiritual Marriage or the End Game of prayer. The first thing I would say here is that growth in prayer is not ended it is rather only the very beginning. The soul has climbed the mountain and reached a plateau . There are no more recognisable, 'Stages', but the pilgrim sets forth onwards in the journey into Eternity. The Father describes this End Stage as returning to where we started and recognising it for the first time. He quotes the poet T. S Elliot in his his great mystical work, 'The Four Quartets'. http://www.davidgorman.com/4quartets/ 'If you came this way, Taking the route you would be likely to take From the place you would be likely to come from, If you came this way in may time, you would find the hedges White again, in May, with voluptuary sweetness. It would be the same at the end of the journey, If you came at night like a broken king, If you came by day not knowing what you came for, It would be the same, when you leave the rough road And turn behind the pig-sty to the dull facade And the tombstone. And what you thought you came for Is only a shell, a husk of meaning From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled If at all. Either you had no purpose Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured And is altered in fulfilment. There are other places Which also are the world's end, some at the sea jaws, Or over a dark lake, in a desert or a city— But this is the nearest, in place and time, Now and in England. If you came this way, Taking any route, starting from anywhere, At any time or at any season, It would always be the same: you would have to put off Sense and notion. You are not here to verify, Instruct yourself, or inform curiosity Or carry report. You are here to kneel Where prayer has been valid. And prayer is more Than an order of words, the conscious occupation Of the praying mind, or the sound of the voice praying. And what the dead had no speech for, when living, They can tell you, being dead: the communication Of the dead is tongued with fire beyond the language of the living. Here, the intersection of the timeless moment Is England and nowhere. Never and always.'
This is very similiar to the description given in Zen Buddhism (Japan) to the spiritual journey being like a man who visits the marketplace (the World) , leaves it in order to the make the spiritual journey and returns again to the marketplace again to understand it for the first time. This is often shown in many Japanese homes by a Tryptich of plates. (I am not saying Zen Buddhism is the same as Catholicism but this description of Enlightenment is very similiar to that of Spiritual Marriage. Also in Zen the teacher often strikes the student to wake them up which reminds me of Padre Pio in the confession box. )
The best description of this comes from Jesus Himself, “Unless you become like little children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven” i Matthew 18:3: So prayer is not about becoming greater but becoming smaller. Not about becoming richer but becoming poorer. Not about becoming more complicated but resolving into the greatest simplicity. Of returning to childhood. Of a return to innocence. A return to the Garden of Eden, to early childhood, the hallways of heaven. It also reminds me of the beatings of the wings of a hummingbird, whose wings beat so fast we no longer see them beat. The soul prays so intensely it no longer appears to pray at all.
I have always loved these lines from Eliot. It certainly seemed to describe my spiritual journey. But I am still in the beginning of the interior castle. Or back there perhaps after some few but wonderful glimpses of what you describe. St Teresa says those who live in the world as opposed to the cloister are to be pitied because they can " advance only at a snails pace". She is so right. Mired in earthly concerns it is very difficult to settle into prayer although I try.
You know, Padraig, that here in Brazil, it's still very common to have "informal canonizations" of children in the minds and hearts of the people. These are cases of children who suffered greatly during the process of passing away, such as through violent death or a severe illness like leukemia. In this way, they become public examples of Christian resilience. The resting place of their remains often attracts many believers who ask for their intercession to obtain some special grace. However, sometimes this gets out of hand, like the case of a girl who died of leukemia in my city in the 1980s. Some people started leaving chocolates and pacifiers at her grave, as if that would please a child who has already reached the beatific vision. Nevertheless, I don't like to throw the baby out with the bathwater, because I believe it's often misguided believers who distort a legitimate form of devotion. I think that among the unknown saints celebrated on November 1st, many may have died in childhood under circumstances of extreme suffering.
Priests tell stories of older Catholics who come to them in confession with a story to tell. They say they try to say ordinary prayers like the, 'Our Father' and the , 'Hail Mary' , but cannot do so. When the priest asks them why they say that as soon as they say they first few words they get caught up in them and kinda zoom away to heaven. What is actually happening is that they have entered into a very high degree of Contemplative prayer with no idea at all what is happening. I thin of these as Kinetic graces. A man or woman has spent very busy lives raising a family and working very hard for a living with very little time to set aside for deep prayer but doing the best to set aside what time they can to do what they can, which may appear to be very little. But over the course of the years great graces are granted to them which are kind of dammed up behind the wall of so much to do..so I call them, 'kinetic'. Then when things calm down in their lives, their family have grown up and left home , maybe they have retired and have time to set aside for more prayer..then this great tidal wave of graces that have built up sweeps over and envelops them. Anyway something to look forward to.
There are quite a number of cases of children being canonised recently in such cases and I think there are a very large number in the pipeline. This is fine since it helps many people. Nevertheless I prefer myself an old hardened sinner who converts. I know, for instance of a hardened Communist who has recently converted to the Faith to my complete astonishment. People like this teach me so much about the incredible mercy of God.
I will round this up by writing about my own experience of Spiritual Marriage and leave it at that. I happened when I was 29 years old , very early in a beautiful late May Morning I suppose nearly forty years ago , but I recall it all quite clearly. Some people in writing of these things speak of visions and Jesus and Mary appearing with angels and rings been put on fingers. But this was very much not so with me. I was in the monastery grounds walking down to a nearby forest with I guess about 8 or 9 of the sheepdogs and it would have been about 5am in the morning. I happened to glance at a nearby tree and all of a sudden it was as if I was grabbed by heaven lifted up in the air and put back down again. As simple as that. Then I heard a voice say quite clearly, 'Now you understand'...and I did. St Columba describes this as being like a ship that has been at sea for a long time and suddenly sails into port. Its not about great complicated things but everything..and I mean everything resolves itself into complete an utter simplicity. You no longer payer, you are prayer. You no longer say the rosary you are become the rosary. ..and this has continued for 40 years. It's like a hug from God where He never lets go. Nor do you loose yourself in God, in fact you are more yourself than you have ever been.
This is so true. Today monarchy is so hard to understand in the modern world and with the modern brain. The Kingdom of God is a hierarchy, a monarchy and so is the Church. This is why fretting, worry and judging about what is happening in the extremely distant higher ranks of the Church is so fruitless (and I confess I've done plenty of it like everyone else), and so completely out of our wheelhouse and control, especially if we are not praying for our hierarchy. Unlike Catholics in any other generation, thanks to the internet we think we are privy and knowledgeable about every event going on every day in the Vatican, to a level like no other Catholics ever were before us, as if we are somehow involved or have any role to play. Other than prayer, and in a hierarchy, we don't really, and we have so much more we should be getting on with in our own hearts, home and communities. We believe ourselves to be more knowledgeable and more Catholic than Popes, Cardinals and Bishops. We are, and yet we are not. It's an illusion, and Popes, Cardinals and Bishops come and go like all the rest of us by the dozen. Everything has it's place, and most of all the Kingdom of God is to be created and found within us, and then it can be created around us. I'm probably not making any sense, and rambling, and not conveying this very well, but there you go.
I'd well believe it, as how else would he have adequately processed and solidified the knowledge and astounding mission he'd been given.
“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” – 1 Corinthians 1:27 All through scripture God tries to teach us, it's not us, it's him and his will. He often choses the second son not the eldest, he chooses the small villages, and the "nobodies". Man thinks he has the order of things all figured out. He has not. Fr Ripperger says the reason so many graces were poured into and through Our Lady above anyone else, and what makes her so powerful, is all due to her great and most genuine humility.
Forgive this clumsy analogy, but as we get closer and closer to God, perhaps at some stage he has to turn down the dimmer switch, or perhaps we could not handle it, and to train our sight to become slowly keener in the starlight.
It's an important reminder for us all. In a homily a few years back, I heard a Priest, who also works as a hospital chaplain say "In the morning, if you're able to get up yourself and go to the toilet yourself and wash yourself unaided, remember to thank God for what a good day it already is."
