Still experiencing horrible darkness and interior suffering but doing my best. Sometimes I experience great joy but then it is taken away quickly. I'll keep surrendering and telling Jesus I love Him anyway.
Thanks Bobby. I'm experiencing alot of spiritual and mental darkness and that I am a bad person even though I am trying to please God. It is horrible, but trying my best. Have been reading excerpts from In Senu Jesu for light and guidance. Still trying to hold on to hope
Struggling alot and not feeling God's love or mercy. Was at Mass twice today and Confession. I must try and trust in His plan even though it doesn't make sense at the moment.
I used to read the letters of Padre Pio years ago when I was going through the Dark Night myself. Padre Pio's Spiritual Director was so compassionate to him as indeed Padre Pio was to his own spiritual children. The reason why we are compassionate to others is that we ourselves have been through a Passion. Through our own pain our hearts grow so we can embrace the pain of others. There is no other way. I can't imagine anything more wonderful than that we might desire than that our hearts grow bigger. The rain of pain is the only thing that is going to make that happen. 'Pick up your cross ,,,,'
If we were to stop suffering,, then the second we did so we would stop growing. If we stopped growing we would stop living.
Well said, Padraig. Unless one experiences the Cross and embraces it... the Prayer of Abandonment Novena reminds me of this; that said, I'm a mere babe when it comes to such surrender, or should I say a mere babe when it comes to trusting in God? https://catholicexchange.com/the-surrender-novena-let-jesus-take-care-of-everything/
Padre Pio's letters to his spiritual director is an excellent read regarding the dark night. Padre Pio often felt like he was falling into the abyss and his director had to continue to affirm that he wasn't. But that spiritual experience was very real to him. It was "obedience" to his directors words that kept him afloat. Our feelings shouldn't take precedence on where we are at spiritually. If we are in the state grace and frequenting the Sacraments, you are pointed in the right direction. Emotions are deceiving and not trust worthy.
PSALM 143 1 LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. 2 Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you. 3 The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. 4 So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. 5 I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. 6 I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land. 7 Answer me quickly, LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. 8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. 9 Rescue me from my enemies, LORD, for I hide myself in you. 10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 11 For your name’s sake, LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. 12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.
I am so sorry for your struggles Sanctus. You are not abandoned, though the evil one whispers this in your ear. Beyond the darkness is a great light. Live in that faith.
Sanctus, I know you are suffering in spirit: Suffering terribly and don't know what to do. Perhaps the more focused question would be, "Why does God allow me to keep returning to this place of suffering? Is it the same burdensome isolation each time? It seems like a vicious circle: you feel isolated and spiritually oppressed, it eases up and then you experience it all over again. Is that correct? We're here for you!
Quote from the book, Passion of St. Therese of Lisieux.... " One could think that it is because I haven't sinned that I have such confidence in God. Really tell them, Mother, that if I had committed all possible crimes, I would always have the same confidence. I feel that this whole multitude of offenses would be like a drop of water thrown into a fiery furnace. You will then tell the story about the converted sinner who died of love."
I experience spiritual and mental confusion and desolation. Hopefully God can work it out for the good. I keep telling God that I want to help souls.
A little prayer for times of spiritual / mental darkness: God my Father, I press my open wounds to the precious wounds of Jesus Your Son, that Your Will and mine be one. Through these shared wounds may I be healed, and bring Your healing Love to others, that all may be enriched in the fullness of Love, through Jesus the Divine Humanity. Amen.
