Hi padrepiofan, I have been going through a very similar trial to what you are experiencing but it is passing thankfully. Offered mass up for you this morning. I just keep thanking God and tell him I love Him and it seems to be helping.
You are forgiven. Your sins have been blotted out. Our Savior no longer recalls them; neither should you.
Saint Faustina goes through something in her diary where she felt totally abandoned by God. She even felt at one stage she was the object of God's hatred. She called it pure spiritual suffering. But it passed for her in time and she came out the other side better of it. Perhaps you are experiencing something not too unsimilar- A trial God has given you
Mother Theresa prayed to be abandoned. At her spiritual height...she could not even get a drop of loving water. But she didn’t know she was one with God. amazing how God works! all for the saving of souls!
Was at mass again this evening. Experienced a strong attack in feeling that my sins can't be forgiven but it left again shortly after. It is not a pleasant experience.