I know how you feel. It’s terrible to feel such despair. You just need to be strong and gracious enough to get through it. The Rosary helps to prepare us to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks. Prayers for you.
Prayers at Mass and at the Shrine this Morning. I suspect you are under severe attack from the devil. Ephesians 6:10-18 The Armor of God 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Oh Padraig, these words of St Paul, are so powerful, and I believe we must put this amour on daily after our morning offering. Interestingly, the old evil one, always tries to stop us from doing this, he gives us so many excuses, he explains away the need for this protection and he especially tries to discount our efforts when we pray on all occasions. I can not tell you of the countless attacks he mounts each day as I pray. However due to Gods grace I have remained faithful to daily prayer and to trying to pray at all times. I spend about half an hour each day on my knees in prayer before the Sacred Heart and Immaculate Heart pictures in my home, however the evil one attacks me for these prayers and every other prayer I pray. Below are some tactics the evil one uses to discourage me from praying, when I'm kneeling and contemplating, when I am working, conversing with my husband or others, walking, driving, doing the dishes, etc. * You are so sinful (I'm shown, am aware of the sins of my past or present) do you think God actually hears your prayers, you are a laughing stock because you fool yourself daily, wake up and realise God does not care for you, because you are so sinful. * What are you doing invoking God when you are supposed to be having a conversation with your husband, don't you trust yourself, why call on God, aren't you good enough, perhaps God has made you so defective that you need Him to function? but where is your freedom? * You've just woken up, you can't even think straight, why not wait until your brain is unscrambled after a coffee to start prayer, your morning prayers on waking mean nothing to God. *what do you think you are doing? As if God will hear your prayers while you are doing the dishes, look at you! you are not even kneeling. This really amounts to sacrilege, you are a sacrilegious person, showing so much disregard for God. * you're so sinful, why don't you find a church to pray instead of praying as you drive to your mothers/daughters place, isn't God first? I sometimes find these attacks laughable and they give me more resolve. I am so grateful for St Theresa of Avila for imparting to us how the devil would attack her. She states that the evil one would tell her that the prayers she prayed while using the ladies room were disgusting to God, but she quipped back and said "my prayers go up to God and everything that goes down is for you"
Yes, as Saint Peter tells us he really is like a Lion who roams the world seeking whom to devour. It reminds me of a pack of wolves who wander all over a farmers property looking for a weak spot. ..and he is very good at this.. My own belief is that just as all of us have a special Guardian Angel (s) so we have our own special demon(s ) who track us right from birth, assigned from hell whose one purpose is to drag us off to hell. Also I believe when we die we will be in the same Choir in Heaven as our Guardian Angel. Right alongside them. On the other hand if when we die we are damned it will be in the same depths of Hell as our Personally assigned Demon whose special role will be to torment us for all Eternity. A nice thought to cheer you up. On the other hand as my Spiritual Director (who was an Exorcist) used to say to me, if you aren't bothering him any he won't be bothering you any. Also he said to me one time when the devil was in a bad mood with me, 'Take it as a compliment!' It was he who gave me the words of St Paul in Ephesians as a wonderful protective aid. Another one from the Psalms, which is a very ,very powerful prayer indeed.: Psalm 68 May God arise, may his enemies be scattered; may his foes flee before him. As smoke is blown away by the wind, may you blow them away; as wax melts before the fire, may the wicked perish before God. ... A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. It is a very good sign indeed when you can discern these attacks so clearly, So very few people ever do. ..and , 'If you weren't bothering him any, he wouldn't be bothering you any!' Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feeling; and never let them suspect how much success or failure of that kind depends on whether they are well or ill, fresh or tired, at the moment. C.S. Lewis author The Screwtape Letters book
I will tell you one good place to observe the Devil attacking quite directly in another person and that is in the Death Process or someone on their Death bed. Talk to someone who has been told that they are going to die in six months and it won't be too long to see the Devil circling their Wagons. Especially with Discouragement. But of course another occasion is at certain times in the Spiritual Life. You have to hand it to the Demons though , they are totally, totally indefagible, they never rest, not for a second and are always, always up to something or other. Never a second's rest with them.
Oh my goodness, I love St. Teresa of Avila so much! I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted not to pray in the ladies room because I thought it might be disrespectful... I will forever remember this quote! The devil usually attacks me by telling me I'm neglecting my kids by praying. That's a tough one for me. Also several years ago I began praying the rosary three times a day slowly on my knees (this was back when i went to work and had quiet times there perfect for praying the rosary). Well one day I noticed strange bumps/swellings on ny knees and scattered over my shins. I was terrified. They remained for a few weeks and I thought I had cancer! I went to the doc and she didn't know what it was but ruled out cancer. I'm ashamed to say I wondered if perhaps I was putting too much strain on my legs by kneeling for the rosary 3 times a day, so I stopped praying on my knees...and the bumps went away. I always felt uneasy about that. I've suspected it was the devil, because once I stopped praying on my knees it soon broke me of the 3-rosary habit and i went down to once daily. Now I pray on my knees in my prayer closet and I do get attacked with the thought "What if those lumps come back on my legs?" from time to time.
Thanks; you nailed it, HH! Now if I don't fast, I'll feel terrible for wasting all of your wonderful prayers! There's more than one way to skin a cat! Good old Irish guilt; what would I do without it?! St. Patrick, pray for us!
I am going through the same thing. Anachal. Worried about my soul and under attack spiritually. Perhaps it is a purification you are going through to bring you closer to God.
I do believe there is a real oppression in world right now. I believe I read a few posts here that sone very holy souls and prophets have said The evil one is on the prowl more than ever because his time is almost up. I’m seeing this oppression in many people, including my own kids. TBH, there are moments where I get very dark too… but I know God supplies enough grace to keep going. Maybe some practical advice- surround yourself with sacramentals, the Bible, good videos , and a small community of prayerful people- this forum if you can’t get together with others. We are praying for you and with you- we all need prayers. Peace. Christ is coming. Have a good Advent!
Peter, The wonderful truth about this forum is that when any of us feel isolated and under assault, there are fellow Catholics here to pray for you. It's like feeling chilled and you climb into a hot tub to warm yourself up. It is the Lord Who loves you immeasurably providing you with friends willing to come to your aid when needed. It must infuriate JoeJerk! I love the idea of frustrating the devil! He has great influence over the worldly, but we are children of a Loving, Almighty Father! Greater is He that is in you, than he who is in the world! At times we are frail, but the Mercy and Love of Jesus for each one of us will prevail! 1 John 4:4 Little children, you are of God, and have overcome them; for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. May the Two Hearts come to Anachal and Sanctus' aid; nothing and no one can challenge the King and Queen!
Please pray for me too. I am under attack. I wake every morning around 4 am and cannot fall back to sleep. This means I often have to cancel work comittments, take a quarter of a sleeping tablet, drink a calming elixir, and go back to sleep til late morning. Im going to be 60 years old in a couple of months so I try not to be too hard on myself about this, but it is possibly annoying to people who could use my help.
Who is not a sinner? We all if we are honest are full of sin…. But this is why Christ came. Recall Luke Gospel…. Two men ascended to the temple, in order to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a tax collector11Standing, the Pharisee prayed within himself in this way: ‘O God, I give thanks to you that I am not like the rest of men: robbers, unjust, adulterers, even as this tax collector chooses to be12I fast twice between Sabbaths. I give tithes from all that I possess.13And the tax collector, standing at a distance, was not willing to even lift up his eyes to heaven. But he struck his chest, saying: ‘O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.14I say to you, this one descended to his house justified, but not the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled; and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. And what is faith? To me it’s getting up each day and acknowledging God is alive and in charge. He gives us the graces - and no doubt there are periods where He seems absent (but he is always there). Sometimes it is one step forward and two steps back. Peace.
Lumena, In the last six months, I have experienced similar physiological reactions combined with a feeling of angst in the middle of the night( I'm in my late 60s). This usually is preceded by a dream or least a trigger of stressful memories. Two actions that have helped: 1st) get out of bed, go to the bathroom, and then try to fall back asleep. If that doesn't succeed, then I'll pull out the Rosary beads under my pillow and begin praying the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary. If my angst is rooted in a person I'm concerned about, then as an alternative I usually begin praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for that individual. This series of counter-measures almost always works. Lord, help Lumena sleep peacefully!
I’ve found myself in similar positions some nights. I’ve grabbed my iPad and stream live adoration channel- just quietly pray to Jesus to give me peace. It works well for me.
That Is feeling Peter not fact. The fact is you confessed and were forgiven. Your feelings are being manipulated by the evil one. You want to love Jesus. You do love Jesus. Your feet are on the straight path. You are being beaten down to get you to give in to despair. Padre Pio speaks of this in his letters to his spiritual children. I don't know why these feelings continue for you but they are feelings only--not sin. If you have not deliberately given in to sin you are "home free." Keep resisting. This is a nasty battle but DONT GIVE IN TO THESE FEELINGS. If thd devil says you you are full of sin proclaim "praised be Jesus Christ my Savior who died to set free this poor sinner." And keep saying it. Of course you and all of us are terrible sinners but Jesus gave every drop of His Blood to free us. Think of the Good Thief.
