The only thing I can say rosebud is from the heart I'm not good with comptemplative prayer I always have to say a vocal prayer if that makes any sense , to much of a chatterbox but I'm going have to learn this type of prayer I might learn something
Daily rosary - on a good day 15 mysteries. Weekly Eucharistic Adoration - try to give the period of Adoration a specific intention and may also pray for other people and intentions during my Adoration. On a good day - constant repetition through out the day of 'Jesus, Mary I love you. Save souls.' Although because of the issues in Ireland this last week my prayer has changed to 'Father bless the pro-abortionists, and have mercy on me.' If I hear something on the radio or TV that I find morally offensive I say a Hail Mary. On a bad day - I retreat into my sinfulness and assume that I am lost and that nothing I might say or do can atone for my sins and sinfulness.
I would say a prayer for the souls in purgatory i find some psalms make good prayers or any prayer that helps people.
[quot On a bad day - I retreat into my sinfulness and assume that I am lost and that nothing I might say or do can atone for my sins and sinfulness.[/quote] Bartimaeus, I'm sorry for this. The rest of your prayer time sounds wonderful. Why despair on a bad day? God is good. God is love. God is with us always.
Thanks Rosebud for your kindness. At this stage on my road to conversion i think of the dark days as being days in the desert. Moses didn't need to be wandering around lost for 40yrs - the desert wasn't that big, but wander lost he did. I used to hate the dark days but when i remember to trust and God instantly consoles me, then i realise it's been worth getting lost in the desert. And also the stars are magnificent when viewed from there!
If you didn't seem to be despairing on your dark days, I guess I could easily understand. We all have our dark and very dark days, but it's the fact that you seem to believe that you are not salvageable. That bothers me greatly. I will pray for you. I'm glad you feel the consolation of God!
Rosebud what I mean praying from the heart basically it's no given formula if you are sad angry worried anything just talk to him as you Would a friend
I do have my set prayers that I say daily but I would for example if anybody I know needed prayers or myself I would say a prayer from my own words, what I feel in my heart
it's the fact that you seem to believe that you are not salvageable. That bothers me greatly. I will pray for you. I really appreciate your insights. I guess i still have issues around trust - there are certainly times when it seems to me that salvation may be something for other people, not necessarily for me. It takes a deliberate remembering for me to accept again the unconditional love of God. I tend to accept this way of thinking but maybe i should pray to be delivered from it...
I follow my 3rd Order Carm rule but my favorite is Contemplative which is 1/2 hour per day on the rule. The rest I do is this: Lauds and Vespers Daily Rosary St Michael prayer as needed daily 3pm and 3am short prayers of adoration before bed, the Fatima Angel Prayer and Act of Contrition trying to get in Divine Mercy Chaplet daily and ALOT of heart prayer (unscheduled) I think the point is really spending as much time in prayer each day as possible, or as St Teresa of Avila said "Just turn and look at Him" as often as we think of it. I also make the sign of the cross alot, use holy water at home, and wear the Brown Scapular which is a prayer in itself.
Yes, pray! When you feel like this say the St. Michael prayer. He will be there to defend you against evil. Satan wants us to believe that we are not worthy, that our sins are not forgivable. Would you want to feel that you are not salvageable when you die? Thoughts that get planted in our heads can grow into great wounds planted by the liar of liars. When I die, I want to believe that God's Mercy is there for me and that He loves me beyond belief. I was once in a state similar to yours, but I was healed. I honestly believed that God didn't love me. I learned He did. I am forever grateful for that healing.
Carmel, i have been trying for years to practice comtemplative prayer. I have not been able to begin to pray this way. I asked my spiritual director about it. He told me what he does. I cannot empty my mind. Do you have any suggestions?
I do have some suggestions I learned. Go someplace quiet and get really comfortable, like lying on your back or in a recliner. Close your eyes, and imagine yourself in God's presence. Just be still and think of God looking at you so that you can easier give Him your full attention. Try not to think, but if something distracts you, just gently put it aside and say "Jesus" softly, and again imagine He is sitting near you looking at you. I say Jesus each time I get a distraction. It really helps. In the beginning, keep it short by setting a timer for 10 minutes and stopping when it goes off. Try to do 10 minutes EVERY day around the same time if possible. It will start to be something you really look forward to.....your appointment with Jesus. After a time, Jesus will start to lead you in conversations, and you will go alot longer, but the point is, to be faithful every day so that Jesus can see you are serious. Kind of like knocking on His door.
Would you want to feel that you are not salvageable when you die? Thoughts that get planted in our heads can grow into great wounds planted by the liar of liars. Thank you so much for your insight. In my head i know God loves me and forgives me, but there is some resistance inside me that obstructs it being accepted in my heart. I will take your advise re. St. Michael.
I am sorry I have not been posting but my computer deid yesterday, no power. I amw riting this from my down town libray. I think forgiving ourselves and accepting God's forgiveness is a life time work. I remember visitng my SpiritualDirector after getting out of prison and he asked me if I did not feel guitly for some of the terrible things I had done? I told him I didn't that since God had forgiven me I just felt the slate was wiped totally clean. I have always had the feeling that this is so . However sometimes lately looking down the years I look back a little in horror. But still I think if God forgives who can condmen?
That is exactly what my spiritual director told me this morning in confession. I have been given an amazing gift from God, and that gift is the prompting of the Holy Spirit so that old, not confessed sins, surface like bubbles. Then it's the prompting to go to confession and ask for forgiveness as soon as possible. My SD is an amazing confessor for a first year priest. He told me that when, with true sorrow, we confess our sins, God forgets them. The slate has been wiped clean. There is nothing and no one to condem. What an amazing gift from God! God is so good, so loving, God is everything!!!
I try to do a daily rosary of 5 mysteries. If I do it from the heart (meaning slowly with focus), then it takes me about an hour to complete. My primary prayer offering is for the salvation of the souls of my family and friends. Since super-storm Sandy and Padraig's feeling that something big will happen in the US relatively soon, I've added a 9 day divine mercy novena for each of my immediate family members. I've only completed one so far, and will continue down the line for each family member. I do an Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be for priests, souls in purgatory and other misc offerings. On a good day I try to make it 7 of each prayer for an offering. Once a week I spend 60 - 90 minutes in adoration. I don't often pray a rosary during this time in front of the the blessed sacrament. I try to leave this as my time to pour my heart out and listen...mainly listen in silence. I will also pull out the hymn book, ask Jesus to speak to me on what it is He wants to communicate with me, and then randomly open up to a hymn. It is truly amazing. When I was confused on the path I should take for my career, the hymn was about praying to the holy spirit. The last 2 weeks in a row was about fasting. When you ask God to communicate with you...He does!! Of course I talk to Jesus all day long...a beautiful sunset...a particularly nice person...or when I'm being critical of a person...I'll say later, I'm sorry Jesus, that was one of God's children! If I'm too tired to pray, I try to read one of Ann Catherine Emmerich's books. I'm in the middle of Christs passion right now. Oh, and during lent I do the stations of the cross during adoration.
