A weird burden

Discussion in 'Coffee House' started by DesertStar7, Jan 14, 2020 at 12:33 AM.

  1. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Archangels

    Since 2010 I've felt that, aside from my husband obviously, I'm deprived of caring about or for others - in person. Both my family and in-laws are estranged.

    Our next-door-neighbor of 25 years recently died. This is not a friendly neighborhood. Ironically, it turns out he's a (mostly never-attending) member of my parish. (n) His wife apparently seldom attends Mass either.

    Prior to converting to Catholicism, I gave three Protestant churches in this small city "a go." Put 100% into it. Aside from worship and prayer, I was actively involved in helping out with programs, altar guild, choir, etc. No friends came of it. o_O Scant love or caring.

    Unfortunately I'm now unable to commit to my Catholic parish as deeply and intensely as those Protestant churches due to long work hours and contractual obligations. When I do attend 8:15 a.m. Mass, of course it's the English service. Nearly all are quite elderly or are retirees who seem intent on enjoying their retirement and being left alone otherwise. :unsure: As the Hispanic folk here are a lot friendlier than my fellow Whites, I'll presume the Spanish Mass is a warmer, happier environment...but I'm monolingual.

    Aside from my husband and cat, I'd sincerely like to have PEOPLE to care about. To listen to (troubles), laugh with, share meals together. In real life. :(

    Well that's plenty enough said. Please say an occasional prayer for me.
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020 at 12:41 AM
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  2. Rain

    Rain Powers

    I think it's a sign of the times--the alienation, that is. A prayer going up for you.
    AED, fallen saint, Shae and 4 others like this.
  3. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Archangels

    Thank you. That could be.

    Some folks might point out that not having children added to my dilemma. That is a valid point. However, I've a sister and sister-in-law with grown children; one rejects her son and the other's are very neglectful of her. I think of my (now deceased) mother-in-law who, excepting our monthly visits, had only 2 or 3 yearly visits from her daughter and nothing from another son or grandkids.

    So I wonder...
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  4. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    It’s a cross, a heavy one. But only God knows the value of this suffering.
    Maybe invite someone from Mass to
    have coffee?
    We are a set-apart group, set apart for the Lord.
    And you work long hours.
    Maybe ask Our Lady to put someone in your life?
    I’m going to try to get to Mass at noon Wednesday at St John Neumann. I’ll pray for his intercession. I said I would take a photo of his statue. I’ll post it.
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  5. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Archangels

    Thank you again. :) I'm awaiting a book about St. Neumann.

    I'll consider asking someone for coffee, and will petition Our Lady.
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  6. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    You are a sweet lady. I hope it works out for you. If not, we're always here for you.
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  7. Shae

    Shae Archangels

    DesertStar, do you have a Legion of Mary at your Parish? My dearest friends for many years are my fellow Legionaries. You mentioned your busy work schedule, but I'm sure the Legion of Mary would be more than happy to visit you. That's a big part of what we do!:)
  8. Booklady

    Booklady Archangels

    Well DesertStar 7, you came to the right place; here you can make wonderful friends from all over the world. Mother of God forum is a wholesome and safe forum; after a while you will make lots of friends. Here we pray for each other and for others doing works of spiritual mercy, which is the most some of us are able to do.

    God Bless you.
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  9. Booklady

    Booklady Archangels

    That's a great idea Shae. My husband and I are housebound but we have been made Auxiliary Members and we are included in prayers and many efforts that the Legionaries do. We don't have one in our parish but the parish near us allowed us to participate. They invite us to all their events.
    Shae, AED, Sam and 2 others like this.
  10. padraig

    padraig New Member

    Prayers. I have gone through periods of my life of isolation and loneliness. But looking back down the years I see them now as Great Blessings. They forced me to turn to the Lord in prayer ; especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

    Its wonderful how God can send people into our lives. When I started my job in another hospital over a years ago I encountered great hostility and indifference. Even to the extent I though I was going to loose my job. This was a total reversal of my previous hospital were I was like a family member. To make things worse the antipathy seemed reasonless, I couldn't place my finger on anything I had done to earn this, apart from being a stranger.

    But at the same time the actual person I worked with at nights could not have been friendlier or kinder or more helpful. I don't really know what I would have done without him.

    Now things are much better.

    I tend to think nothing happens by accident with God. I go days without speaking to anyone but when I do meet someone the talk tends to be directly spiritual.

    A French writer one time commented that we are lucky if we have three real friends are entire life. This is so true. Many , many aquaintances but only the odd real friend.

    The impression I get from the Life of Mary is that she was a woman of few words. But she could have a good old natter. For instance when she went to see her cousin Elizabeth; at the Wedding Feast of Cana and the Ressurection of Lazarus.

    I don't know if this cheers anyone up but this has been my experience. Sometimes in Church I do see very Holy Souls I feel I might like to talk to. But I rely on God to fix this if He thinks it would be good for us both.
    Booklady, Shae, AED and 5 others like this.
  11. St Therese mentions that she struggled to find where in the church she belonged and repeatedly asked where did she fit in ? what was her vocation ? I would suggest a few prayers to St Therese my heavenly sister (y)
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  12. maryrose

    maryrose Powers

  13. maryrose

    maryrose Powers

    My reply seems to have disappeared.
    I was in a similar situation and I prayed that the Lord would send me a friend. Quite by chance I met a lady who had been in school with me. She is a very spiritual lady and through her I have made other friends, all very spiritual. I feel blessed now. We all need fellowship. Check if there is a prayer group in your locality or a charismatic group. If you can't find one you might be able to get a prayer group going.
    Shae, AED, DesertStar7 and 2 others like this.
  14. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Archangels

    Thank you to everyone. :love: I will check to see if we have a Legion of Mary, and also will pray to St. Therese.

    I appreciate your prayers and friendship. So glad for MOG! :)
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  15. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Archangels

    I've worked in my home awhile now, but had 12 years in the workplace; one to another can be very different, and it takes just one person to set the mood (for good or ill).

    I'm glad your situation has improved.

    My sister-in-law works in an incredibly hostile and unprofessional environment in a border city hospital, wherein intrusive questions are freely asked and if "the wrong" answer is given (sis-in-law used to be so wisely quiet) it's 8 hours of hell 5 days a week.
    Booklady, Shae, AED and 2 others like this.
  16. padraig

    padraig New Member

    I'll offer up mass and prayers for yourself and your sister tonight.

    I can't imagine.

    This is why Our Lady has said that if people intend to convert they need to do so right away. They're running out of time.

    It is easy to plant seeds in the springtime with a fair sun. But to plant them in the Winter is much , much more difficult. We have moved into a very harsh winter.

    But miracles are happening all around us. My brother told me about a friend of his who is a prominent member of a pro Abort Party and who is a childhood friend of his. Suddenly a week ago came out very positively against Abortion and against his own party. Right out of the blue and for no apparent reason. Mind blowing.

    We have to keep hoping and staying positive.

    Your sister-in-law reminds me of the words of Jesus , that when we build our house we must build it on solid foundations. It we do so winds may blow, fires may come but the house will stand secure.

    If God chooses you sister-in-law to fight in such a place she must be a very, very special lady.

    Gold is tried in the furnace of affliction.


    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020 at 5:31 PM
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  17. padraig

    padraig New Member

    You know in recent years I have started worrying more when there are periods in my life when things are going oh so well than when I am up to my neck in it.

    I think to myself..where is my Cross? For if there is no Cross, there is no Christ.

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  18. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    very beautiful
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  19. HeavenlyHosts

    HeavenlyHosts Powers

    I'm going to post a worship song which is not Catholic but makes me cry every time I hear it.

    Listen to the whole thing.
    I always feel that peace that passes all understanding after I hear this.
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020 at 5:52 PM
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  20. DesertStar7

    DesertStar7 Archangels

    I sang this very song as member of a praise and worship band at the last Protestant church I attended, in 2011 & 2012.
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