I am working at nights over Christmas on my own at the hospital with plenty of time to think and pray as I work. The thought kept coming to me was what a disaster my Advent was this year. No tree spiritual preparations at all really. I have my excuses all to hand, I was changing from the day to the night shift at work and that threw me . I was decorating my appartment. It crept up on me when I was not looking and so on. A million good excuses which are not really so good at all. In fact I was looking at an old film of , 'The Christmas Carol' and I thought I could catcd glimpses of myself in Ebenzer Scrooge saying , 'Bah Humbug' about Christmas. So kinda desperate the last while I have simply been saying , 'Happy Birthday!' to the child Jesus and thinking to myself , 'Well I come with empty hands but this little prayer to the baby God is all I have. Then last night as I was walking the hospital grounds looking at the stars I said, 'happy birthday Jesus!' one more time and it suddenly came home to me it really is a happy birthday. For that day 2,000 years ago shook the whole world forever. Now at this season the light and love of that birthday still shakes all creation. The stars still dance, heart still sing. the wheel world turns into a joyous barn dance and all because to that little tiny baby. ..and it comes to me now that this is my best, most grace filled Christmas ever. Not because of what I brought to Him but because of the great, great graces he is bringing to me this year. I had empty hands , yes, but His hands were full and He is filling my heart with them. It reminds me for the millionth time, it was never about what I did for Him, for I am so very,very poor and small, it is all about what that little baby did for me..and still does. So happy Birthday baby Jesus..and thank you.